


We Are Us

by Ty_R_Bluent



Series: Us (Eden) [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 18:57:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 38
Words: 42,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9251426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ty_R_Bluent/pseuds/Ty_R_Bluent
Summary: Azrael, the angel of death. Death herself, or, one of them at least. The angel that the Winchesters had been wanting to find for so long. Just within their reach and yet so far. It's the role that Eden has now been thrown into. To find the family that had been with her all along and having never said a word.And to find out, it is very difficult to be death.





	1. [Part I]

 

**_[We Are Us Part I]_ **

 

_This life I live is not my own._

_As if I have no more choices._

_As if the freedom I gained_

_was never true._

 

_I am a slave._

_A grunt._

_With no choice._

_I cannot fight._

_I have no chance._

_That’s at least what_ He _says._

 

_But I am,_

_my father’s daughter._

_I will have my peace_

_In the end_

 


	2. Prologue

Dean had promised himself that while he was with Lisa and Ben, he’d stop looking at the pictures. It had been a year, almost two since she died. It wasn’t as much of a weight on his shoulders as it had been, but it was still a burden he carried alone. What made it worse was that her birthday was the next day. September 28th… The date haunted him like it had when he first thought his daughter was dead. When he found Malia missing. And now Sam was gone too.

He had Lisa now. Though he’d fake a smile each time he flinched after thinking of how Eden would get along with Ben, Lisa still knew it was something he wasn’t ready to talk about. 

 

And only hours before her birthday, Dean broke his promise to himself. 

 

He woke up late that night, finding it hard to get back to sleep. So, slowly Dean got up, double checking he didn’t stir Lisa. When she didn’t move he continued quietly to the stairs. Dean almost ran right into Ben in the hallway. The boy sleepily rubbed his eyes. 

    “Dean? Where are you going?” 

    “Nowhere bud. Just getting a glass of water.” Dean patted Ben’s shoulder as he moved around him. The boy blinked over his shoulder as Dean went down the stairs before returning to his room. 

Dean glanced at the laptop on the desk. Shaking his head he went to the kitchen getting the water he said he would. For a few moments he leaned against the counter sipping the cold drink. Outside he seemed the picture of calm. Inside, he was battling himself. The side that won was the one thing he promised not to do. The glass clinked onto the counter, it’s contents sloshing inside. Not touching any of the lights he turned on the computer. It looked like Dean was trying to hide something from the way he went about all this, but she haunted him. At every turn, each blink of the eye. Without Sam it just became worse, adding his absence to the problem. The pictures were just one click away, as they had always been. Dean held his breath as the first picture came up. His fingers trembled as he switched to the next one. It had been virtually two years, but all the apocalypse crap had been looming over them. Dean didn’t find out till that moment that he was robbed of the time he needed to grieve over his daughter, before he had lost his brother in the mix too. Dean blinked away the sting in his eyes. He couldn’t change the pictures anymore. So the screen stayed frozen on one of Eden and himself. Sam had taken it, and Dean had demanded his brother delete it right after. Eden must have convinced him to keep it long enough to get it onto the computer. Like father like daughter. Dean couldn’t take looking at it anymore, but he didn’t have the heart to change the picture.

 

Eden’s long dark hair was down. Her green eyes matching his, were bright. Her signature jean jacket on, right along with her mischievous, trouble seeking grin. This ‘I didn’t do it’ look on her face as she sat on the roof of the impala. Dean stood on the ground looking at her. 

 

But what the picture didn’t show was Eden laughing so hard the next moment. How she almost rolled off the top of the car. That Dean had gotten back whatever the hell she had taken to see his reaction. Eden had rushed back into the motel room, the brothers right after. Sam’s face was red from laughing as he looked at the picture again. Dean would turn right on his heel and wrestle around with his brother, ordering him to delete the picture. Sam would chuckle and give up, telling him he would. A pillow was thrown at both of them, ending what was about to become a possible fight. The squeak that came from Eden when she dove off of the bed when Dean flung a pillow right back at her. How still the room got when they all froze as someone pounded on the door. They were just checking up and making sure everything was okay. The door shut as Eden poked her head back up behind the bed. Her shit eating grin visible in her eyes as Dean gave her a glare. Sam had held his breath, his brother had looked mad. But all three of them bursted out laughing. 

The picture didn’t show any of that. It didn’t do that memory much justice. 

Dean’s shoulders were tense. His eyes burned as their laughter rang in his head. His fist clenched tightly. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he slammed the lid closed, just hardly avoiding breaking the screen. Now on his feet Dean’s hand lingered on the top of the computer, sliding over the case. With a shaky breath he sat back down, head in his hands. He wiped his eyes, willing for the hurt to go away. 

 

_ “Dad… its.. Okay.. dad.”  _

 

A gentle hand set on Dean’s shoulder. He tensed at first, but the wall just collapsed the second after. It reminded him of when Alyssa -Sam’s best friend- spoke that she hoped he’d get better, possibly thinking that it was him who was hurt. He didn’t dare look at the screen once as Lisa lifted the lid back up. The light of the computer illuminated the dark space. When Lisa finished looking she switched on a lamp. She was quiet for a little while, before getting Dean’s abandoned water glass, and one for herself. She coaxed him away from the computer and to the couch where she could sit beside him. Dean’s eyes wandered around the room during this time. Not once meeting Lisa’s. She hooked her arm with his and leaned into him. 

    “She looks a like you. I can see she must have acted a lot like you too.” Gingerly Lisa set a gold ring into Dean’s hand. He looked at it before he finally met her eyes. The round gold object had the word  _ Fearless  _ engraved onto it. Dean had one ring in the truck he drove now, in the Impala. He had one with him everyday. A little reminder of her. “I found this in your coat pocket. I knew I was jumping to conclusions so I didn’t ask. But I think it’s time to talk about it.” Lisa gave it a minute as she rubbed Dean’s arm for encouragement. “How long?” 

    “Almost two years. She almost died the day I put this ring in my pocket. It’s been in there for longer since I forget to take it out.” He had started rambling by now. He looked at the clock to find it was one A.M. “Today…. Today is her birthday.” 

    “What was her name?”

    “Eden.. She was… Eden was 13..” Lisa soothed him. 

Maybe if Dean had said yes, this wouldn’t have happened. But that wasn’t what Eden would have wanted. He knew she would have. Maybe he’d finally get the grieving time he didn’t fully get. 


	3. Little Time

 

    “Azrael.” His call was just like the first, the one that had only been moments ago. “We have work to do in little time.”

  “What do you mean?” The young girl asked. 

    “Come.” Was all to Death’s answer.  He took the girl’s shoulder managing to skip time. Eden couldn’t figure when it was, but it was sometime in the future. She quickly looked around the room. There was a bandage dotted with blood around Bobby’s head. Sam and Dean stood at his bedside. This was all too familiar. She had seen this. This room, the brothers standing over him. She had seen this the first day she met him.

    “Idjits.” He muttered. Death took up Eden’s hand and pressed it against Bobby’s arm. The older man went limp, his heart monitor announcing the flatline. 

    “N… No!” Eden screamed. 

    “Eden?” Bobby’s voice rang out. The color in her face drained. “But you.. You’re dead.” Bobby’s eyes shifted to Death as he figured it out. 

    “Tut tut tut.” Death spoke. “It’s time for us to leave.” The reaper that was there for Bobby appeared next to him. Death took Eden’s shoulder once more. Now they were back, somewhere around 2005. Once again they were in the hospital. Now She stood over a much younger version of her father. Death set her hand on his chest and the monitor went crazy. 

    “What? No!” Doctors rushed in to resuscitate Dean. Eden’s mind raced.

_ He survives this right? He has to or everything that happened would have changed.  _ Her heart sank.  _ Maybe that was his point.  _

Eden blinked to find Death forcing her hand onto Sam’s shoulder as Dean held him in his arms. Whatever her father was saying, she didn’t hear. Her focus was zoned in on her uncle going limp and his blood on Dean’s hands. 

 

They shifted again. 

 

Dean’s cries filled the room as a hellhound ripped at his chest. Eden struggled against Death. 

    “Stop it.” He warned. This time he took her fingers and started them to her father’s forehead. 

    “No! No! Please don’t! Stop!” Eden screamed as she squirmed in Death’s hold.  She had seen all of this. That very fact made it all the more worse. “Please!” Her two fingers met with Dean’s forehead. His gurgling ceased, right along with all his movements. Eden’s nails dug into her palm as she clenched her fists. Her knees buckled as her vision blurred. She ducked her head. “Just… just please…  _ stop _ . I’ll… I’ll do anything.” 

 

The bastard seemed pleased by this. 

 

He took her by the arm, and they went forward in time. Yet they weren’t exactly at the very moment of the present they had been when they left. It was almost twenty minutes earlier.

     “You and I are alike. We have one job, and one that hasn’t quite been being fulfilled so far. So you must learn quickly, and do not hesitate. I will be sending you back with a reaper who will be around you at all times. But you must learn, and be ready to serve by this time when I am summoned.” 

    “What do you mean?” Eden demanded, her wings folding as she put them away. Death looked at her, before he averted his eyes. 

Dean and Sam were saying goodbye to Ellen and Jo. Eden’s eyes widened.

    “No…. No no no no no..” This had only happened hours ago. This meant that Eden’s past self was laying outside bleeding to death. That meant that it was Jo who got hurt, and why she and her mother never came back. Because they were dead. The Winchester boys left, though Eden screamed after them.

    “They cannot hear you.” Death said calmly. Eden could feel Jo become weaker. Her heart sank as Ellen opened the door. The hounds rammed against the door as she sat back down. “Your first real task. Kill them.”

    “No! No!” Eden shrieked as Death pushed her closer to them.

    “Look at them Azrael!” Death’s sharpness caused her to jump. “They both are suffering.”

Through the forming tears Eden watched the painful, slow breaths that Jo took in. Death was right. She was suffering. “You can end it. Take away her pain.” Eden kneeled next to the girl who was no more than twelve years older than her. A wet streak down her face.

    “I’m sorry.” Eden’s soft whisper cracked as she tucked hair behind Jo’s ear. That was when she stopped breathing.

    “Jo? Joanna?” Ellen called from beside her.

    “Eden?” Jo’s voice came from the hurt silence as Ellen kissed her daughter's limp head. That was when the hellhounds caught up to them, and the button was pressed. Within seconds Eden’s hand landed on Ellen’s shoulder, making it a quick death.

 

Before the girl got to her feet, Death had taken them outside the burning rubble two reapers approached them.

    “Eden what are you doing here?” Ellen demanded, but the girl didn’t speak. Her eyes stayed on the pavement, before looking over at her past self. Laying on the cold road, blood all over her. Celia slowly backed away as Dean found her. “Who’s that?”

    “That’s me.” Eden told softly.

    “Are you?” Jo asked.

    “I will be.” Celia slowly padded over, casting a sad glance to Dean as he picked up and talked softly to his dying daughter.

    “Then how?” The question went unanswered as Eden patted Celia’s head.

    “That was good for the first job Azrael.”

    “Wait what? Azrael?” Ellen burst.

    “Tessa why don’t you take these two. Slade, I will be here waiting for you both to return. This moment of this time. Do not disappoint me.”

 

And so Reaper and the now angel were sent back in time. It was so Eden would be ready for the apocalypse, and for when Death called. So she could find out exactly what she could do, and control her powers. But as Eden looked around herself now back in 2003, she came to the realization that she hated the most. She was no longer Eden, a part of her will no matter what, because that had been who she was, who she had been. No, she was the angel of death now. She, was Azrael.


	4. The Winchesters

So she spent several years in the time she was sent to, becoming older, and better at her job. Even though she hated it. In Death’s words: “People don’t want to see a little girl come for them when they die.” 

 

But Azrael reached out to someone who could help her, several actually. All except one. She never called on Castiel. He was too busy watching her past self. He was the last person she wanted to see. But she knew that their hearts held the same marking. Just like her parents had. 

 

She was around the age of seventeen when she found them. Four-hundred and seventeen to be exact, and they found her more or less. Slade, the reaper that had been sent with her, wasn’t around for the day. It was one where Azrael just wanted to blend in with the humans. She had a fake ID that told she was twenty-two, just in case she was questioned. She almost looked like it at the time too. Though she was an angel, nothing would change that she was part human. So she liked to get some sleep, and something to eat every now and then. A habit she couldn’t kick was one of looking for supernatural activity. 

It wasn’t abnormal for her to go places to pray, to try and find answers for the situation she was in, but never found anything. The feather necklace was tucked underneath her jacket. Her blond hair was pulled into a neat, low, ponytail. 

 

Azrael knew she was being watched. When the hands gripped onto her arm, she threw the salt in the demon's eyes and slammed him into the wall. 

    “You must be incredibly stupid. You really wanna mess with me?” Her eyes glowed a little. The demon was frozen to the spot on the wall she held him against. “Tell your boss I said hi.” She started muttering latin, sending him right back downstairs. “Hey hey hey hey hey.” She spoke as the poor man collapsed, she helped him onto the ground. Azrael touched two fingers to his head. 

    “Where am I?” He looked around as he blinked. “What happened?” 

    “Relax, you almost passed out on me.” She smiled and handed him a plastic water bottle from her bag. “Here. Do you think you’re okay?” 

    “Yes, yes.” He nodded and sat up. 

    “I think you should just go home. Get some rest.” 

    “Yeah, yeah. Thank you.” He spoke as he stood, making his way from the alley. He pushed past the two Winchester brothers. Azrael’s blue eyes lifted, meeting two sets of green. 

    “Hello boys.” She greets as she stands. A small smirk curls one side of her lips as she hooked her thumbs into the pockets of her jacket. “You must be the Winchesters.”

…

    “Anyone want a drink?” Azrael asked, looking over her shoulder. They had gone to her motel room, which happened to be the same one the brothers were at. She poured three glasses anyway. Casting a look over her shoulder. “Need I remind you,  _ you  _ followed me here, to  _ my  _ room. I just invited you in when you wouldn’t leave.” She took a drink from her glass as she slid the other two down the table. 

    “Really, I don’t need one.” Sam pushed it away. Azrael took up the glass, pouring it into her’s. Dean started chuckling. 

    “Shut up and drink.” She took a long gulp. While Dean ducked his head and took several sips. “Need I remind you two, we literally just met in an alley not twenty minutes ago.

    “Well it’s not everyday you meet a hunter like we did you. You practically solved our case for us without even being involved from the start.” Sam went on.

    “I’m not a hunter.. Not really anyway.” 

    “I’m sorry.. Remind me of your name? I think I missed that part.” Dean spoke. 

    “Because I didn’t tell you.” She drained her glass and set it down on the counter. From here she walked over to the table and sat on the end across from Dean. “People call me a lot of things. I wouldn’t mind if you call me Acer, though.” Dean’s glass clanked on the table when he set it down, trying not to choke on his drink. 

    “Acer?” His voice came out strange before he coughed it out. 

    “Yes. It’s kinda a family nickname. It started with my mom and uncle Andre. He called her that, and when she met my father she called him that. And for same reason my father called me that.” She had poured herself another drink before she had sat down. Swirling the amber liquid in the glass. “You actually remind me a lot of him. But my name is Angel, Angel brown.”

    “If you don’t mind me asking.. How did you come by all you know, you obviously know a lot.” Sam asked. 

    “I was mostly raised into it like my father. The driving point was my mother was killed wrapped up in supernatural crap. I was seperated from my father due to it too. I’m pretty sure he was going to make me stop after our last hunt together.” Azrael stopped, taking a drink and making it seem like there wasn’t any more to the story than there was.

But there was much, much more. 

 

    “Where is he now? Your father I mean.. If you don’t mind me asking.” Sam spoke. 

    Azrael took another drink. “I don’t know.” It was such a lie. She finished off the amber liquid just to hide the fact that her eyes shifted to Dean. “Probably dead.” She added so they wouldn’t speak of finding him. Shaking her head she changed the subject. “So why are you two so interested in little ol’ me?” 

    “Just the way you went about exercising that demon.” 

    “We thought you were going to be demon bait.” Leave it to Dean to say it straight out. He finished off his drink. 

    “We’re just surprised is all. You don’t seem like someone who would know. And the strategy you have..” 

    “Of course. No one just  _ seems  _ or looks like they know.” She was taking this visit much better than she thought she would. It was going actually pretty well so far. Azra only hoped for it to stay that way. 


	5. We Have a Job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter the character Alyssa is a part of a crossover from a story that I am doing with a friend of mine. She's only on wattpad. She is the co-writer of the story that we are writing together where Alyssa is the main character. Though we haven't published it yet on wattpad, and we haven't given it a name. But once we do, there will be chapters where Azrael/Eden is mentioned and also takes part in the a couple chapters as well.

The boys stuck around a little longer. They started to trust Azrael more and more. But all communication halted after Dean went to hell. It was as Azra sat in a dark room alone for so long, was when she had realized that when she was younger, she had also seen someone’s future when she looked into their past memories. 

 

She was sat on the end of a motel bed. In pitch black. 

 

Her powers also grew to include something that she was already able to see. Someone’s death. She could look in to see how anyone died. It had happened when she met Ellen and Jo in the warehouse after her uncle Michael had saved her. Telling her to thank Azrael. 

 

It had been five months that her father had been in hell. Or, four. But there had been something about him on Angel radio before she had blocked the chatter out of her mind. Slade came when they needed to work the job. He told her if she was ever to encounter the Winchesters again, she might as well fake her death. Since their boss wouldn’t be too happy to find out she had been trying to live the life of a human. But it happened to be that night, her phone lit up. The only light in the starless sky. They were calling for her. The Winchesters. And she would answer. 

…

 

The moment she even came close to the meeting spot, she knew both brothers were there. Along with an angel. So she hid her own form from his eye. It had been a long time since she had seen Castiel. It would be even longer before he’d know exactly who she is. 

    “Glad to see you’re back with the living.” Azra called out as she approached the parked Impala. The Winchesters had to turn around since they were expecting her to come from the other way. “And I see you have company.” She sucked in a breath as her own blue eyes met another, much deeper pair. “Castiel.” He gave a small nod while he seemed to be trying to place where he knew her from. 

    “How have you been?” Sam asked. Dean raised an eyebrow in curiosity. 

    She took in a breath before forcing a smile. “As good as you can be with all kinds of unnatural things on your ass for the last three months. But it’s taken care of.” She was not going to tell them what she had really been doing in the last five months. “It feels like I haven’t seen either of you two dipshits in fifty years.” Since to her it had been. Time literally sped up when you are death, or one of them at least. Azra hugged both of them at the same time. 

 

If only they knew how desperate she was to hold on much longer than the three seconds the three actually clung to one another. She longed to travel with them once more. To be able to snap at her father for watching reruns of Dr.Sexy. To have Sam infuriatingly looking over her shoulder as she did a little work. It drove her crazy once. And she would do about anything to be driven crazy like that again. 

 

But she sucked it up. She buried what she really wanted to do. She blew it off by just patting Dean on the shoulder. 

    “Good to see you too Acer.” If only Dean knew how badly it crushed her as that name slipped from his lips. 

    “Yeah, yeah.” To any normal person, it would be terrifying with how well she lied. But this girl was the angel of death. She lied to herself so much that she even believed it all. Besides, lying was her job now. Azra knew by now if she lied to herself long enough, each word would eventually become the truth. If only it could really work that way. 

 

It wasn’t a very long drive to the motel. The brothers decided then that they would think then about exactly where ‘Angel’ would stay. They offered that she could crash on the couch. The conversation was about to change when two more beings joined them. Azrael’s wall instantly went up to hide herself to them. 

 

    “Dean-” The voice of Castiel made her go tense. 

    “Sam-” The second she hadn’t heard in awhile. 

Both celestials stopped, seeing the blond with the silver blue eyes staring back at them. Azrael couldn’t breath when Castiel looked at her, still trying to place where he knew her from. She had to look away. 

    “Sam, I thought I've explained to you that you shouldn't take random people in like you did in college-”

    “Actually when we first met a couple months ago they followed  _ me  _ to my room.” Azra spoke softly. Not looking at her cousin, who was supposed to be older than her. 

    “Besides. We could use her help on this case.” Sam spoke, looking at Alyssa. 

    Alyssa’s eyes lingered on Azrael for the longest of times, before looking back to Sam. “What's the case now? I could use a break from the boyfriend,” she said with a grin.

   Azra placed a hand toward her mouth to cover up her snort. Castiel blinked at the newer woman who he had only first met in the parking long not twenty minutes ago. 

“Cat got your tongue big guy?” Azra chanced a look at him as she could only smile at how she use to tease him. 

    “There is a cat in the room? I didn’t see one and surely it does not have my tongue.” Castiel looked around. It caused one of the first real smiles that happened to grace Azra’s face in a long while. 

    “No Cas there is no…” Dean let out a breath as he gave up. “Anyway. Castiel, Alyssa. This is Angel.” Said woman gave a nod in greeting. 

    “Nice to meet you,  _ Angel _ ,” Alyssa says, glancing once more to the girl before looking back at Cas. “We still need to work on your.. human stuff.”

   Dean raised an eyebrow. “Ookay.” 

    Sam had a few questions of his own as well. “Nice for you to both pop in.” 

The conversation was cut short as all five looked into the case a little more. But it was that night as everyone seemed to have settled, Castiel and Alyssa playing cards and the brothers asleep. Azra was trying to drift off too when the all too dreaded feeling entered her. It let her know of Slade’s presence. Taking a peek at the two at the table, she rolled over. 

    “Damn it Slade. They  _ can  _ see you you blasted idiot.” She scolded in a whisper. 

    “I know. I am much farther from an idiot than you give me credit for.” 

    “Then for..” She groaned, dragging her hands over her face in the dark. “Get down dammit.” Her silver blue eyes jumped to Dean’s sleeping form, before Sam’s as he moved around in his sleep. 

    “We have a job.” 

    “Angel?” Azra slipped off the couch as Castiel called down to her. She hit the floor with a thud. When Azra looked up once more she was thankful to find Slade gone. 

    “Hey you alright down there?” Alyssa looked up from her cards. 

    “Hmmm?” She took in a breath as she lifted herself back onto the couch. Az sat, rather than lay back down. “Nothing… It was.. Just a bad dream.” 

…

 

And the same thing happened the next night. Only as Azra slipped out to get some air. It also happened the night after.

    “Like I said, we have a job.” Slade came out of nowhere, causing Azrael to jump. “Oh, jumpy much?” 

    “We always have a job damn it. And yeah you’d be jumpy yourself if you could look in a goddamn mirror.” She gestured to the pale thin haired blond man dressed in his suit. Only fifty years too late, he’d still almost be mistaken as someone from the mob. He adjusted his jacket. 

    “You are right with that. But these guys,” Slade’s hand motioned to the motel room door that was down the hall like cover that ran in front of all the doors. “They need to go. Staying with them will only upset the bossman. It could also lead to them figuring out who you are.” Az ran her fingers over her pulled back hair. “I am serious Azrael. You cannot keep up with this. We have a  _ job  _ we must keep doing. If you keep with this little rag tag group you will only shift away from our line of work.” 

    “Don’t you dare start that. You have no right to point that finger at me.” Azrael spoke. A little more silver added to her eyes. The tension between reaper and angel was tense enough that neither noticed the two that joined them. “You can’t-” The motel room door closing finally registered to Azra. Castiel appeared a good distance off to her right. He stood in the grass. His eyes looked Slade up and down. 

    “Angel, why is there a reaper talking to you?” Alyssa soon questioned, standing a distance away from Azra from her left. She stood closer to Slade, as if studying him.  

   What made her nerves the most was that Castiel was silent this entire time. “I told you they would find out.” Slade said matter-o-factly. “Only a mat-” 

    “Shut up.” Azra snapped at him. 

    “Matter of time-” 

    “Dammit I said  _ shut up _ .” Azrael’s eyes were losing the blue just a little more. Thankfully under the star lit sky the silver still seemed to create the color her eyes were starting to lack.

    “You are dying.” The words from Castiel’s mouth caused Azra’s eyes to go wide. She was frozen for a second thinking of the last time she actually talked to him. But that time was still yet to come for Eden, her past self. 

    One corner of Slade’s lips curled. This was perfect for him. “Wow. That obvious is it?” 

    “You talk like a demon trying to make a petty deal,” Alyssa grumbled underneath her breath, crossing her arms as she looked between Slade and Azra.

   “That is actually what some call me.” He looked over at Alyssa. His eyes looked her up and down. He opened his mouth only to be interrupted once more. 

    Azrael pinched the bridge of her nose. “Say one more word and I swear. So help me-” 

    Now it was Slade’s turn to cut her off. “You’ll kill me?” He inquired with a raised brown. “That will blow over well. If at all.” He was just reveling in the ability to mock her now. Azra shot him a hard glare. 

 

    “So you are..” Castiel’s voice broke that tension as Azra’s attention went back to him. Every time he spoke she almost forgot about everything else within the world. “Were you going to tell the Winchesters?” 

     “Cas, clearly Angel isn't. I wouldn’t tell the Winchesters such a thing either, I think they would kill me before I would ever die of whatever,” Alyssa says calmly, pursuing her lips as her eyes seemed to burn into Slade but she said nothing more about him.

    Azra’s lips curled into a soft, sad smile as she looked to the girl that didn’t even know they were cousins. The blue returned a little to her eyes. “I.. I was but I don’t know anymore.”

    Slade glanced around at the three angels. “Well, I guess I’ll take my leave.” His hand tugged at his suit jacket before he disappeared. 

    “Anything else you happen to be hiding?” Castiel stepped forward. Moonlight spilling over his shoulder and shining in his dark hair. Azrael had to blink to remind her of everything, and keep her in the real world. If only she could allow herself to just cave and be with him. But she couldn’t. 

    “Cas..” Alyssa started before letting out a sigh, looking over at Azrael with her grey eyes that seemed to swirl with sadness. “I'll be going, then.. so you guys can talk.” With that, Alyssa too disappeared.

Azrael let out a sigh as she looked back over to Castiel. 

_ If only we were us.  _ The thought of her last words to him entered her thoughts. Of how torn up he was as she went. Her eyes were now back to their normal silver blue. 

    “Please don’t tell them.” Her voice was soft. “Please.” Cas gave a small nod.

 

If only he knew how bad she felt about this large lie that rested on her shoulders. Slade had told her basically to fake her death. As much as she didn’t want to, she knew she had to. That meant that she’d have to leave Cas again. And she hated that. 


	6. Acer's Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again Alyssa's character shows up in this chapter. I will let you know when the book is published between the co-author and I on Wattpad and when we decide on it's name. If I hadn't mentioned it in the last chapter, in the book we are working on together has Azrael and Malia/Mariel show up or mentioned. They are actually becoming apart of the storyline, as I will have Alyssa be around here too.

Neither Alyssa or Cas spoke a word of that night they discovered Slade. They were getting deeper into a case that just had their heads spinning. But it was something that could get out of hand very quickly. All that kept going through Azrael’s mind was what Slade had been advising. That he was right. For once she would give it to him that he was. 

 

But he wouldn’t just be happy with that fact. No, Slade would  _ revel  _ in it. 

 

Alyssa watched her closely as Slade mumbled something into Azra’s ear. This was as Sam and Dean were talking about something neither of them were listening too. Slade was being a pain in the ass, and Azra was doing everything she could to make him knock it off without attracting attention to herself. If she spoke to him with her thoughts she may give herself away. Even though she could block Alyssa from hearing, her facial expressions would be a big neon sign. With a comment that seemed to send Azra over the edge, her elbow jerked back and rammed into Slade’s stomach. Uncomfortably close to his groin. Azra muttered a ‘whoops’. Alyssa was ready at that moment. With that kind of contact she was expecting ‘Angel’ to drop dead. Quite literally. 

 

    “You alright?” Sam asked with furrowed brows. 

    Azra now looked at the brothers who stared at her out of concern. “What? Oh, yeah I’m fine.” Alyssa saw right through the lie. Since she still watched the reaper that stood over ‘Angel’s’ shoulder. That very reaper soon left thankfully. 

    “Alright.” Sam was still weary himself, but decided it might not have been that pressing of a matter. “Let's go.” 

 

The brothers went out of the room. But Alyssa stopped Azrael before she could get too far. 

    “I don't know what this all is about, but I'm expecting answers; some good, answers. Soon,” Alyssa says in a harsh whisper, looking back at her, before quickly leaves to follow the brothers.

    She sighs, now alone. “Yeah I think those are coming much sooner than we both think.” She gave herself a moment before walking out of the room like there was nothing wrong with the world. 

 

It was much sooner than anyone expected. The time seemed to be tripping over itself. They were out on the field. There was a small cliff that overlooked the water of a lake. It was a long drop down too. Castiel appeared, distracting everyone for a second. 

 

Azrael’s heart stopped the moment’s Sam’s foot slipped. Before anyone could have moved, Azrael grabbed onto him and shoved him away from the drop off. The moment Sam was alright, everyone took a collective breath. But Azrael froze up. Her eyes becoming noticeably more silver. 

    “Hey.. Acer.. Angel.” Dean snapped his fingers at her. She didn’t even blink. “Okay. Not weird at all.” 

    “Angel you alright?” Little did they know that touching Sam caused her to see what was to happen in the next few moments. They were sent here on purpose. It was a trap. The moment she snapped out of it the gunshots started. 

    “Get down!” But she was a little too late. She threw herself in front of Dean. Her wings came out, but they were hidden to everyone. Even to Cas and Alyssa. Her left wing covered Sam while her right almost curled around Dean. Sam quickly got to the ground. The impact of several bullets at a time caused her to be thrown forward. Thus she knocked into Dean. 

    “Dean!” First it was Sam who shouted it, but the other two did as well. 

 

Azrael had an iron grip on him as Dean clung to the side of the cliff. 

    “You alright?” He glanced down at her. 

    “As much as I can be.” She muttered. Slowly Dean pulled her up so she could cling to the ledge too. 

    “Dean! Angel!” The shouts came from the younger Winchester brother. Azrael looked all around them. Coming to only one conclusion. She gulped, knowing it was time. 

    “Dean.. We have to let go.” She looked him in the eye. 

    “What? No! Are you crazy?” He demanded. 

    Azra tightened her grip on his arm. “Trust me.” Her voice was so calm and her eyes held every reason that he should. And with a deep breath, Dean Winchester let go of the ledge. 

    “Dean!” 

 

Time seemed to slow as they fell. The wind blowing past them. It was terrifyingly peaceful. And if Dean was to die now, he was okay with that. But Azrael set her arms around him. And suddenly they weren’t falling anymore. Time froze for a second. Only until a feather tickled Dean’s jaw. He looked up to find the wings spread in the air above him as they rose higher. Before he knew it he was looking down at his brother. 

 

A cry twisted in the air, and he hit the ground hard. 

    “Dean!” Sam rushed to his brother. 

They both looked up in time to watch her fall back down. All four had wide eyes as Dean crawled to the edge to look down. There was a mass of wings as something stuck out from the feathers. He could only assume it was an angel blade. Castiel and Alyssa had seen it all but instantly looked for whoever was causing this. They found no one. By the time the other two angels looked down, the feathers were blown to ash, and the body gone. Sam and Dean having not known much about angels, they didn’t question it like Castiel was. 

    “She.. she saved our lives.” Sam muttered. Dean reached up to the right side of his face upon feeling something warm run down it. His hand came back red. The blood wasn’t his. 

    “She really did.. she really did,” Alyssa said in a murmur, her eyes not pulling away from the blood that lingered on Dean’s face. 

    “Something is not right here.” Castiel tilts his head as he squints his eyes. 

    “No, Cas, it all fits. All of the evidence lines up.” Alyssa draws her eyes away from the blood looking to Castiel; giving him a look, almost a glare, to be quiet. To not talk about what had just happened.

    “What.. what evidence?” Sam turned as he helped his brother to his feet. Dean still seemed to be almost in a state of shock. “What the hell does that mean?” 

    “Well.. uh-” Castiel starts. With a sharp look from Alyssa he shuts up. 

    “It's nothing,  _ Sammy.” _ Alyssa says the nickname with a smile, glancing over at him. “Come on, let's get you guys cleaned up. Get some rest.” She froze the moment her eyes found Slade. His hands casually in his pockets as he looked on over the four. 

    “That reaper.” Castiel’s voice was almost a whisper as he stared Slade down. He stepped away from the group. Slade gave one of the most descrete cocky looks he could muster. Only Castiel saw it fully. Alyssa only got a glance. 

    “What  _ reaper  _ Cas?” Dean asked. He and his brother trying to see what he was. But he soon shook his head, unable to focus. 

    “Shh Dean. Just be quiet for now,” Alyssa mumbled to Dean, staring down Slade as well; her glare seeming to almost  burn through him.

Slade gave a nod to them before he disappeared. Castiel still looked confused. 

   “Yeah.” Sam agreed with one of Alyssa’s earlier statements. “Lets.. get out of here.” He had an arm around Dean who was in pain from being dropped. It had only kicked in several moments ago after the adrenaline calmed down. He grunted as they moved along. 

Castiel hadn’t looked away from the spot Slade had been in only moments before as the Winchesters slowly worked their way back to the Impala. Alyssa glanced back too before setting her hand on his shoulder. 

 

By the next day they were all shaken up still. Mostly Dean who had seemed to become close to Angel. Who had had her blood rolling down his face. It was almost like losing a daughter. One of the worst things was, they lost the case. People stopped dying like they had been only days before. So it seemed like Acer had died for nothing. 

 

If only any of them knew she wasn’t really dead.


	7. Death's Hour

Azrael still watched over the brothers. It hit her as the few months went past, how close this was to when her past self, Eden, met her father. She would have loved to stick with them when Cas or Alyssa wasn’t around, but she wasn’t able to. Not with her job. 

 

But the apocalypse seemed to have come in full force. When she was Eden it seemed like forever before it came. But now it happened much quicker than she expected. 

Next thing she knew, she stood on that destroyed concrete bridge having to clean up the mess that War was causing. It all seemed to click there and then. That all those signs that pointed to Azrael had been her, what she had done and was still yet to do. She had warned Michael of Eden almost being killed by Zachariah. Telling him in her message to thank her, Azrael. 

 

Now standing on the bridge she set her hand on the concrete railing, making her mark. Her name in enochian. With that she got to the house that Rufus and Jo would have set up in, and marked her path for her father to use to save Eden. 

 

Slade tugged on her cloak as she stared at the water were her past self will be submerged in several hours. 

    “C’mon. We have more work.” He patted her shoulder. 

    “Yes we do.” Azrael gave him a nod. Their break had now ended. Celia was right by her side as they went about while more people happened to die. 

…

 

Celia looked up at her master as Azra’s hand glided over her own name under the star’s glow. Her new one engraved in the concret. The town was now mostly clear, and Eden had survived War. She was thankful the horsemen was now dead and had been for a while now. Azrael had lost track of time. But this only meant that Death was even closer to being risen. That meant her job was only just beginning. Of the seven years she had dealt with it. It wasn’t any easier than it was when she first started. It wasn’t any harder either. 

 

Slade stuck back. Giving her a moment. But he soon had to end it. 

    “Azra.” He called softly as he stepped forward. Then he cleared his throat as he pulled at his suit jacket. “Azrael.” The the starlight glow faded over him along with the moonlight, almost giving him the appearance of someone from the mob. His thin blond hair for once worked in his favor. “We still have a job to do.” 

    Azrael was silent as she listened to the reaper. 

    He sighed. “It’s only three to midnight. It can wait.” 

    “No.” The words didn’t even feel like she had said them. But the truth of that matter was that she had. “A job is a job is a job. That’s how it’s been and it will always be.” She hated the very air that those words tainted. It was foul and rotten. It was dead. 

 

Slade gave a nod as they appeared in a dark room. Azrael’s eyes stayed closed until the intense heat of the flames reached up. It licked the very air beside her. A hungry hound from hell. The little girl’s father was desperately trying to get her limp body out of the burning house. With a sigh Azrael’s eyes turned silver as she set a hand on the girl. Her ghost instantly popping up next to Celia. Her father cried her name. 

 

_ “Acer? Eden? Eden!”  _ was all that rang through her mind. Azrael also tried to shake Ellen and Jo’s death out of her head. They were still alive in this time. But not for much longer. 

 

    “What about my daddy?” The little girl asked. Azrael looked down at her with a sad smile and ran a hand over her cheek. 

    “You will both be together soon.” She spoke softly. There was a cry from the hall. 

    “Daddy!” The little girl screamed. Azrael flinched, only reminded of herself. With the release of a deep breath the father’s life was ended too. 

 

All four were on the front lawn as fire trucks were lined in front of the house. The people that had been alive only moments ago looked in horror as the firemen tried to save the place. Celia nuzzled her head under the girl’s arm for comfort. Azrael let out her wings a little as she sank to the young girl's height. 

    “Where are we going now?” She asked. 

    “Why spoil the surprise?” Azrael smiled reassuringly. “You’ll be happy. Slade.” The reaper stepped forward upon being called. “Go ahead.” 

    “C’mon.” Slade spoke, setting a hand on each of their shoulders. He left Celia and Azra alone for a few mines before he came back. 

 

Celia whimpered. Something was off about this night. It was colder somehow. Normally the elements didn’t bother Azra much. But this night was much more of a dark feeling. Azrael’s wings curled behind her. She had let them stretch for the little girl’s sake. To show that the afterlife wasn’t really scary. At least her and her father’s weren’t compared to Azra’s.

    “Slade, the time?” Azrael turned her head slightly over her shoulder at the reaper behind her as they left the burning home behind. 

    He gave a strange look before taking the pocket watch from his jacket. “Five past twelve.” His dust brown eyes looked to the angel in front of him. He seemed to make a certain connection as she found her assumption to be right. 

    “Dammit.” She breathed into the night air. Her breath a white puff. Almost a ghost in the black night. 

 

Then they were transported to a different place. The smell of smoke still lingered the air. Eden’s blood still stained the pavement. 

    “Time.” The aged voice was laced with a british accent. 

    “Oooh I got this one.” Azrael knew that voice to be her uncle’s. Lucifer. “It is twelve o’six.” He almost seemed giddy. Azrael’s wings were now pinned back as she made herself as big as possible. Tessa’s eyes looked to the two. Lucifer was the next to turn, and lastly the boss. He looked her up and down as Slade stood at her shoulder. Celia let out a low growl. 

    “Hello Death.” Azrael spoke. 


	8. Bye Cas

Azrael knew from the moment Death sent her to 2003 that she would dread the moment they met again. If only she knew that was only the start. Along with an understatement. 

Lucifer came right out with his plans. 

His only problem was that he was only able to bound one death, not both. Even though the horsemen was very reluctant to do what was told. That often left Azrael to await orders. She wasn’t able to do much without them half the time so it almost was as if she was bound to her uncle too. Quickly they were getting ready for their next assignment: Chicago. 

It was approaching uncomfortably fast. 

 

But there was one stop that Arza had to make first. 

 

She gave a nod to the nurse as she walked down the hall. She could sense what room he was in. Standing in the hall Azra stood next to the door, mentally preparing herself for whatever she may face inside. Taking a deep breath she stepped in. Quickly she took in all of what was in the room. Azrael paused at the door as Castiel hung up the phone with who she could only assume was her father. She watched him for a moment. Feeling her eyes swirl with green at the first glimpse she had of him in years. She could only smile slightly at memories that played in her mind.

    “Hey.” Her hands were in the pockets of her dark jeans. Her green jacket was pressed against her side by her body. It let her navy blue shirt show, causing the sterling silver cross that hung around her neck held by it’s steel chain noticeable. Discretely she closed the door for privacy. Her blond hair was set in a low ponytail. Castiel’s blue eyes watched her while the room stayed silent. Azrael’s hand lingered on the cold wood of the door as she could find nothing to say for several moments. “So… What the hell happened this time?” A small almost shy smile faintly played on her lips as her eyes looked back up to him. Then it was gone. “Wait.. no, don’t answer that. I don’t wanna know.” As Azra spoke she walked over and pulled up a chair beside Castiel’s bed. The green had left her eyes from the moment she spoke. It was only for the silver to become more prominent than it normally was. 

    Cas’s brows were furrowed as he tried to figure out something. “Who are you?” 

    Azrael let out a single, dry laugh. “I guess I should have expected this.” The jacket was set over her legs. It looked like one her father would wear. Her eyes cracked open as she looked down at her hands. A silver ring with a cut out bird was around her index finger. It had another barn swallow designed on the other side of it too. A line connected them. 

“The one that not even the archangels have met in person. One you have been inquiring about.” 

    Castiel narrowed his eyes. “Azrael.” Slowly she lifted her head only slightly, looking at him through her long lashes. The sunlight streaming from the window caused the silver in her own eyes to almost glow. “Angel Brown…” 

    A sad smile curled her lip. “You haven’t changed Cas.” It was slowly killing Azrael. She badly wanted to reach out to him. To hold his hand. Or to have Castiel’s arms around her like the night she made her choice. One of the worst of her life. If she had chosen to die and live some other reality in her Heaven, then he would have visited her. She’d have everyone there. “Maybe that's why I always liked you so much.” 

 

The room was draped in silence once more. 

    “What are you doing here?” Castiel broke the silence. 

    “Isn’t it a little obvious Cas?” She paused. It was much harder than she thought it would be. Like how she had to restrain herself from telling him everything. A feather appeared in her hand. She twirled it about. The white feather had an ombre that led to grey. The very tip being black. But the white wasn’t as pure as it once had been. The feathers of her wings were slowly turning into light grey. It reminded her of when she gave Dean one of Castiel’s feathers to put on that blasted feather necklace of Eden’s. She had given it to him when she was ‘Angel’. 

“To see you..I uh. Slipped one of my coins in your pocket last we met. Sensed you were here, so I came over for a visit.” She mentioned one of three coins that she had. They worked much like what the demons had, but only for her. She put it on Castiel, that meant it would stay with him.

     “If I remember correctly you were quite close with the Winchesters.” Azrael closed her eyes at her last name. Castiel narrowed his eyes once more. “You thought it was one of them in here.” She was surprised while also not that he wasn’t questioning this. 

    “It doesn’t matter what I think.” She stood, placing the jacket on the chair as she turned her back to Castiel. “No matter what I still have a right to a goodbye.” She whispered. To human ears it would be inaudible. But Cas still got enough out of that sentence  to start piecing it all together. 

    “You put a coin in my pocket? Why not put one on Dean?” He was grasping but he happened to be pressing all the right buttons. Azra flinched at the name. 

    “Gotta keep an eye on you somehow.” She typed her number into his personal cell phone, before tossing it to his bed. “There will be a huge storm in Chicago. Have fun with that.” She finally looked back at Castiel as her jacket appeared in her hands and she tugged it on. Azra almost looked like her father. “I gotta go.” She walked to the door and opened it. 

    “Eden.” Castiel’s eyes were wide. 

    The green came back to Azrael’s eyes as she looked over her shoulder. It was a look that said everything. He could never speak a word of this to Dean Winchester. “Bye Cas.” Her voice was soft. Wings brushed the air, and she was gone. 


	9. For the Love of Pizza

Azrael appeared in the small pizza place. With a light snap of her fingers it started to rain a little harder outside. Death had started the storm, he’d only leave the duration of it up to Azra’s imagination. 

 

Crowley appeared in the Impala when Dean couldn’t understand what he was saying. 

    “I said, he’s in there. His attack dogs there too.” Before either Dean or Alyssa could say anything Crowley was gone.

    “There you are.” Death spoke calmly.

    “You called. We have a city to destroy.” Azra walked over to the table. She drummed her nails on it before sitting across from the horsemen.  

    “Don’t sound so overjoyed.” Death spoke. She straightened up the silverware while placing the plate more in front of the first chair. Her green jacket left behind, she now wore a longer one. It was black with navy blue lining the edges. It was a death’s cloak like jacket. She set up the hood as she closed her eyes. “Your father should be here any moment. No matter what happens you will follow my orders.” He leaned forward with the small snarl.

    “Yes sir.” She whispered. Azrael messed with the weather a little more as Dean dropped death’s weapon as his hand burned. 

    “It’s about time you got here.” Death spoke, suddenly his weapon on the table next to him. Azra’s eyes were turned mostly silver as she looked from under her hood. She stood as her father and Alyssa walked forward. Azra pulled out the chair she had been in for Dean. Right after she added a second from another table for Alyssa. 

“Come and sit. Both of you.” She then backed up. Knowing she almost faded into the background. 

    Hesitantly they both sat in the two chairs pulled up for them. Both of both kept giving glances to the possible ‘attack dog’ that kept still. Death gave a sigh. 

 

    “I can not do anything. He has me bound to him, using me as his weapon. If you have me, you also have Azrael.” All eyes looked to the silent angel as they were mentioned. “Two deadly combinations.” 

    “Finally great to meet you both. I've heard a lot lately,” Alyssa said hesitantly, gripping the pendant on the necklace she wore; ready to fight. Azrael knew it had been Alyssa’s father’s: Andrealphus. Azra’s uncle.. Her mother’s twin. 

    Death’s dark eyes moved to Alyssa, giving her a nod. Then Dean spoke, or at least tried to. “How is-” 

    But the two death’s must have known his question already. “Look at it this way. I am Azrael’s employer, and we are being controlled by a kid throwing a tantrum. Both the boss, and second in command. Thus the army has no choice but to follow.” He grew quiet after that, waiting for either of their guest’s to speak. 

    “Well you don't have to worry about  _ that kid. _ There's plans falling together from many sides,” Alyssa spoke softly, looking Death in the eyes. He wasn't all that scary, it appeared. But she didn’t know of how  _ amazing  _ of a boss he was. 

    “Yes so I’ve heard.” He spoke calmly as the thunder roared outside. “You are here for my ring. I will give it to you, only to borrow.” Death looked between them both. “But I want it back soon after you are done.” Alyssa and Dean nodded. “Then I guess Chicago can stay. I like their pizza too much to destroy it anyway. Right Azrael?” There was an edge to Death’s voice as he mentioned the angel. Almost daring her to speak and find the consequence. But she didn’t even look like she could be breathing. Satisfied with Azra’s silence Death took another bite of his food.  

    “Pizza, I would've never guessed,” Alyssa muttered over to Dean, glancing over at him before glancing back to Death.

    “Careful of the remarks you make, girl.” Death warned. “I am not one to disrespect.” He turned to the hooded angel. “Dismissed, Azrael.”

 

With that Azra’s wings brushed the air. She put as much distance between her and Chicago as she could. She was in the field that she and Slade had been in the night Death called upon them. Slowly she sat down in the dirt, curling her legs around her and listening to nature.

 


	10. Don't Let Me Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have read one of my other supernatural stories, "Don't Let Me Go" this is the promised chapter of "We are Us" that branches off of the bonus chapter. I will set an update and put that in the ending chapter. So, if you haven't read DLMG, well, honestly this won't be spoiling much. So if you happen to want to read that it doesn't matter whether if you read this chapter first before heading over there. But I do recommend go checking it out. Thanks for sticking with this and any other of my stories you may happen you read. And enjoy!

She didn’t know how long she had been sitting there. She just had blocked everything out. If Death called it didn’t matter since she couldn’t hear it. Sure he’d be pissed. But right now Azrael just needed to block out everything from the world. Then again it didn’t take much for her to know she wasn’t alone anymore. 

 

    “Az.” Slade’s voice cut through the silence. But the angel didn’t answer. Her heart sunk into her stomach as she knew there was something wrong. A heavy weight settled on her shoulders as she stood. Her long coat settled once more over her shoulders before she pulled the hood up. “Az you don’t have to.” Slade spoke. 

    “Don’t follow me.” Azrael finally spoke. Her silver eyes looked back at the reaper. 

    “Don’t do anything stupid.” Azrael noticed he was wearing a tie. The moonlight shone off the red of the neckwear. 

    “With me…. stupid happens to run in the family.” She sucked in a deep breath and held it. She knew there was no amount of time at her hands in the world that could prepare her for this. But she took that leap anyway. Azrael found herself in an alley between two large buildings. Probably in the middle of nowhere. But no one would see her. Not unless they died. Then came the hard part: watching the scene play out. 

 

    “Dean…  _ Dean _ !” Sam repeated, holding his older brother’s limp body in his arms. 

    “S-sammy?” He rasped out as his eyes opened. There were cuts all over him. It was clear he had been held and tortured. His big green eyes looked up at his little brother in the darkened area. 

    “Hey hey. I’m here. I’m right here.” There was a gash on Sam’s forehead. He seemed to be slightly careful with his left forearm. 

    “S-Sammy. I had this… weird dream.” Azrael tilted her head. The silver glowed as she looked into Dean’s memory of the dream he had. She had learned how to use the power that was once so annoying. Where when she was Eden, it happened each time someone touched her, or she them. Now she didn’t need touch. She only feared that would result in their death. Azra knew how to control that part much like her boss, but it still made her nerves. 

    “Shhh. Shhh. I know. You can tell me about it later. Right now we need to get you out of here.” Sam tried to help his older brother up, only for Dean to cry out in pain and collapse. His left leg was broken at the knee. He wheezed in pain as he lay on his side, coughing up blood. “Hey, we’re gonna make it out of here. Okay?” 

    “S-sam.. Sammy.” Dean breathed as Sam turned him over again. He seemed to now figure out where they were. Dean started to laugh, but it ended up with him coughing up more blood. Red rolled down from the corner of his mouth as he looked up at the sky. Stars dotted the darkness miles above them. “Don.. don’t let go.” Dean whispered. A woman’s voice echoed in his mind.

    “I’m not. I’m right here Dean. I won’t let you go.” 

The older Winchester was piecing together that he would meet her face to face soon. That Azrael would be there, and she was. 

    “N-no.” Dean spat up blood. “Don’t let… me.. Go.” His hand trailed up from his jacket pocket. Shoving two items into Sam’s hand. One was a gold ring. The word  _ fearless  _ inscribed in black lettering. Azra’s eyes widened at the ring. She had forgotten that her father had never returned it to her. She was surprised he even still had it. The second the keys to the Impala. “Don’t let.. me .. Go.” He gave a small nod. Dean knew what he was saying, but his little brother probably didn’t. He gripped onto the sleeve of Sam’s jacket. Azrael could feel how desperately he wanted the suffering to end. He was in so much pain. Not all of it was physical. He imagined seeing his daughter and could-have-been fiance in Heaven. If only he knew how quickly he’d see his daughter after Death.  

 

His eyes drifted back to the stars. Lips curling into a soft, blood stained smile. Sam looked up too. Azrael allowed herself a moment too as she stood over her father and uncle. Dean took in ragged breaths. He tensed with each breath he took in. 

 

Dean looked over at Sam as rushed footsteps hurried into the night. 

    “Sam!” Bobby yelled. Either Sam didn’t hear it or he didn’t care at the moment. Azrael saw the shine of the unshed tears as his eyes still watched the twinkle of stars above them. Blood filled Dean’s mouth as he lifted his head slightly. There was so much he wanted to say knowing his time was out. She could hear it all run through his mind as she dropped a knee across from her uncle. 

**_Don’t_ ** _ bring me back.  _

_ I’ll be okay. _

That wasn’t even half of them.

__ “S-sammy.. I-I’m.. Proud..” Was all he got out. Azrael gulped, her hand hovered over Dean’s shoulder. His next word came out even softer. “S-sam.” She closed her eyes and brushed her fingers along the fabric of Dean’s shirt before she stood. 

His hold faded from his brother’s jacket sleeve. Azra’s dark figure stood over his unmoving body. His head sunk down into a pool of his own blood that he had coughed up. He stopped moving altogether. Those green eyes were wide as he stood not very far from his own body. 

 

    “D-Dean.. Dean?” Sam asked, eyes looking down. “Dean!” He shook his brother in his arms. 

The eldest Winchester’s blood smeared over Sam, and was pooled along his limp body. Dean’s eyes were only halfway closed. The green that was once so vibrant now dull and clouded. “Dean!” Sam screamed. 

 

Azrael and the now dead man looked over as someone else joined them.

Bobby stopped running at the sight. He panted as Sam hunched over his dead brother. His shoulders racking with each sob. Suddenly there were more rushed footsteps approaching. Bobby sniffled, cleared his eyes, and pulled up his gun. He moved away from the boys he considered as son’s to confront the newcomer. 

  “No.  _ No _ .” The voice grew louder as Lisa pushed past Bobby and ran to them. Sam was slowly setting his brother onto the ground from his arms. “Oh my god.” She muffled the sound with her hand as she rushed over. But halfway there she slowed in hesitation. They both quietly watched this scene play out. Dean was now standing closer to the dark hooded figure while they stood back. Lisa sank to her knees gently reaching out. Her hand rested on Dean’s shoulder as Sam closed his eyes. To Lisa he looked like he was sleeping. So she shook him as tears rolled down his face. In her mind she was trying to wake him up. It broke Dean’s heart to watch this. 

    “Why the hell am I still here?” He demanded. To him this seemed like another round of torture. The only difference was that he was dead and it was by the angel of death.  

    Azra was silent.

She stopped shaking him and his body didn’t move. Softly Lisa set a hand on his cheek, before holding her own hand. Dean’s cut lips were slightly parted, blood staining a line from the corner of his mouth even to his neck. Bobby wandered over and took the sobbing woman’s shoulders. He helped her up and led her back to her car. Sam watched them go. Before he was left alone once more. His brother’s cold wrist in his hand.  Dean looked at death before him. 

 

    “What the hell.” He breathed. This only caused a light chuckle from Azrael. Leave it to her father to still be as stubborn in death as he was while living. 

    “Patience.” Dean paused. He knew that voice. But he didn’t know from where. The silver eyes looked at him. He couldn’t place where he had seen it. Meanwhile Sam set Dean’s limp arm around his shoulder as he hoisted his brother up. He struggled to carry his dead brother’s body toward the Impala. Each time Sam tripped he got right back up. He just wouldn’t leave Dean behind. Meanwhile the dead man that trailed behind Azrael watched his brothers attempts. Finally when the younger Winchester brother made it to the vehicle his knees buckled. He leaned his brother against the car by the back driver’s side wheel. Sam sat next to him. Tears brimmed his eyes as he looked at Dean’s body. Forcing himself to his feet, Sam took something from the glove box. He knew his brother had hidden it there, he just never said anything about it. Gently he set the feather necklace in his brother’s hand before curling his fingers over it. With that he let out a heavy sigh. Bobby was slowly making his way over to the Impala. 

    “So what now.. I don’t see a reaper. So what is it… Up or down?” 

    “I let him off for the night.” Azrael spoke as she walked over to Dean’s body. His cut lip still parted. She set a knee down beside his body and leaned her arm on it. “And Neither.” Azra pulled her hood down. But the moonlight didn’t reach her face. The Impala blocked the light. Dean just hardly was able to make out the braided blonde hair. “You’re welcome, Dean.” Her lungs filled with air before she let it out. Azra’s eyes glowed a silver blue as the air she released was a line of white in the night air. It quickly became almost like a glowing cloud as it made a loop and streamed past Dean’s lips. “Take my advice. Do not die again. Because nothing will save you after this.” 

 

Dean’s eyes flew open as he almost choked while taking in a sharp breath. Sam almost fell over as Dean set an arm on the Impala for support while he leaned over and coughed it out. His left hand set on the ground as well. Bobby rushed over as Sam took a hold of his brother’s shoulder. Dean calmed down as he took in deep breath’s. His green eyes still wide as he looked at the two metal feather’s that rested on the ground next to his hand. The chain was wrapped in his hands. He held it up as he sat back down with his back against his car. 

    “What the hell happened?” Bobby demanded as he stood over the two. 

    “I was hoping you knew.” Dean muttered. 

    “Dean are you alright?” Sam asked. The eldest Winchester looked at him, taking in the cuts and bruises. 

    “I could ask you the same thing Sammy.” It was quiet for a little while before Sam helped his brother up. Dean’s gaze scanned over the area around them. It stopped somewhere along the treeline as if he saw something. 

 

    “I thought I told you  _ not  _ to do anything stupid.” Slade appeared next to Azrael as she stood back, watching the almost family reunion. 

    “You should know,” Azrael cast a look to the shorter reaper. “Stupid has it’s own definition in my family. Because stupid is right along the lines of loyalty with us.” She paused as Dean looked their way. His eyes met Azra’s but he couldn’t see her. He couldn’t see either of them. “It’s a little ironic for a Winchester to be death.” 

    “You are just like your father.” Slade spoke. 

    “That’s not the first time I’ve heard that.” 

    “I hate to say it since I know it won’t be the last.” He cast his gaze to the three by the Impala. 

 

    “What is it Dean?” Sam asked. His brother instantly snapped out of it. 

    “Nothing. I thought… it's nothing..” He took in a breath. 

    “How far is Lisa ahead of us?” Sam asked. 

    “We-” Bobby started. 

    It was Dean who cut him off. “ _ No _ , no.” He waved his hand as he shook his head. “It’s.. It’s better off if she thinks I’m dead.  _ She’ll  _ be better off, along with Ben.” The two were set into a shocked silence while Dean wouldn’t look either of them in the eye. His daughter’s necklace clutched in his hand. 

    “O-okay. Let’s.. Get going?” Sam spoke hesitantly. 

    “Yeah, yeah.” Dean finally lifted his head while Sam handed his brother’s the keys. Bobby got into his own car as the brother’s did theirs. But Dean paused before he got in. He cast one last look at the treeline, his eyes pausing where the reaper and angel stood unseen by his human eyes. He shook of the feeling and started the car. 


	11. On the Lamb

It was in a warehouse full monsters. One of the group that accompanied the Winchester group and Bobby. Azrael was called here when she sensed that someone that shared her bloodline was hurt. She knew it was neither of the brothers. So that only left one person. She appeared as their uncle leaned over her. He was going to call on Castiel to help her, while the angel wouldn’t believe satan. Azra’s cousin needed help. 

 

Lucifer bent down and kissed Alyssa’s forehead. she open her mouth trying to call for him when he shushed her. “You’re friends should find you soon.” And lucifer was gone, but she wasn’t alone. Azrael kneeled next to Alyssa, her hood up. Azra’s cousin widened her eyes at the sight of death. Lucifer was trying to get Castiel over to help. Azrael was supposed to be elsewhere.

    “I am so going to get into trouble for this.” Azrael muttered as she set a cloth over Alyssa’s wounds. She could tell by Alyssa becoming tense that she was preparing herself for death. But that was something that never came. “Damn it Cas. Get your damn ass over here.” She grumbled before said angel joined them. 

    “Azrael.” Was his first word. She stood, her blue eyes shining through the darkness of her hood. 

    “Castiel.” She breathed. Even Alyssa could feel the tension between them. “She will get to the Winchesters.” 

    “Yes.” Azrael helped him get me into his arms. 

    “It wasn’t a question.” Her voice lacked emotion. She was trying to distance herself.  

    “Weren’t you sent to kill her?” Castiel spoke. His brows furrowed as he come to how this might end for Azrael.

    “Maybe. Maybe not. I am here on my own accord. I have to make sure my father does nothing stupid. And it’s nice to do something for a family member.” 

    “I have forgotten she is your cousin.” 

    “Yes.” She was losing patience since Alyssa wasn’t doing so well. 

    “Won’t Death punish you for this?” 

    “Probably. Now shut the hell up and get her out of here.” Castiel turned and started carrying Alyssa away. Her head hung down so she could see Azrael’s blurring figure. 

_ ‘Goodbye, Alyssa. I hope to speak to you again.’ _ She spoke to her cousin before she disappeared. 

 

While she was at it, Azra decided to do a few more stupid things. A good half of them were a little on the impulsive side. 

 

First she helped out her cousin a little more by entering the dream she was having. She guided Alyssa out of the could-have-been coma. She didn’t feel as if this would make Death as mad as bringing her father back from the dead could have. Azra didn’t quite know yet since she hadn’t seen him since Chicago. It was almost to the point one could say she was avoiding her boss. Now she was going against orders. Much like Death had done a time or two. At the moment she really didn’t have much to lose. Death had already forced her to kill everything she had ever really come to know and love. Mainly those that worked with the Winchesters. 

 

The most out of the top idea she had gotten, was to continue to avoid her boss. He was an ass at the least. She just wanted away from him. Azra never took too well to other people trying to control her like she was a mindless freak. No one would do that to her again. No one would keep making that choice for her. She promised herself. 

 

Azrael knew she was already warded. So the bastard had no way of locating her. So in the shadows of that warehouse, she found herself face to face with Slade. 

    “Out of all stupid things.” Slade shook his head. 

    “I have to.” Azrael lowered her hood. She shook off the long coat that was only ever tied with death. She threw it away from herself. 

    “That’s why I’m covering for you as long as I am able to.” Azrael stopped in her tracks at Slade’s words. “Hey I’d want out too if I hadn’t been a reaper for my whole life. Born a reaper die one too.” 

    Azra gave a weak smile as Celia made her presence known. “Thank you.” She told Slade as she wrapped her arms around him. She didn’t let go as she sent herself back almost a month. 

 

There was only one person that came to Azrael’s mind when she thought of hiding. 

    “Gabriel.” She called upon seeing his form. 

    “Ede.” He spoke. 


	12. Please Don't Go

Gabriel had taught Azra many things in their time together. It would be a lie if Azra was to say that she didn’t look up to her uncle. Hell he had been looking out for her throughout her life. It seemed as if he was trying to make up for a few things even after her death. He also knew her reasons to hide. They happened to be along the lines of why Gabriel had left Heaven. The two had a bond, that part was undeniable. Azra was starting her new life. It was foolproof the way she was going to go about it. The only hard part was, she had to stay away from the Winchesters. Celia would follow her. Whenever entering somewhere that didn’t allow dogs, the mastiff would make herself invisible. Azra always found the hellhound’s abilities strange. But she never questioned it. 

 

But it was one specific night. Being an angel of death, Azrael could always sense when something bad would happen. Mostly when it involved family. That was how she was able to find Alyssa back in the warehouse. It would also be the reason she’d rush to Gabriel. She had seen his death. It was because of a Pagan goddess. Either way someone was going to die that night. Azrael just hoped it’d be the goddess and not her uncle. 

 

If only she knew about the horror she was about to walk in on. 

 

Her blade was drawn. It’s curve was masterful and made her think of the power of the First Blade. This one almost matched it. No this was not some normal angel blade. 

    “Gabe.” She called the moment she teleported into the room. It happened to be as three figures were running out the door. 

    “Ede, you shouldn’t be here.” Gabriel spoke. Lucifer stood in between the two. 

    “I stand with you till the end, uncle.” She spoke stubbornly. A few strands of her dirty blonde hair fell in front of her face. The silver in her eyes swelled. With a blink she stood next to Gabriel. “Glad to see the death that I saw didn’t happen.” 

    “Do not make me do this. Either of you. Brother… niece, Angel.” Lucifer looked between the two.

    “No one is making you do anything Luci.” Gabriel spoke. Azrael moved as if to circle her other uncle. She was ready for anything. Out of her luck she wore a jean jacket that night. Lucifer looked between the two with a sad look in his eyes. 

    He just shook his head. “You are still learning little ‘En. You are much powerful than you think. But you just haven’t found it yet.” Gabriel played one of his tricks where there were two of him. Suddenly Lucifer turned and threw Azra to the wall. Her blade slid across the floor. “You forget little brother. I was the one to teach you all your tricks.” Time slowed as Lucifer turned around. 

    “No!” Azrael yelled as she jumped in front of Gabriel. Her back pressed against her uncle as Lucifer shoved the blade into her. Azra’s eyes were wide. Her mouth agape. 

 

And yet she felt nothing. Not even the slightest bit of pain. She took in a breath. 

 

    “I’m sorry.” Lucifer shoved the blade further into Azrael’s stomach. By the gurgle of pain that came from behind her, it hit it’s mark. Lucifer removed the blade from her body. The two brothers still faced off, though Gabriel was badly wounded. Azrael fell to her knees. Only a moment before her hand reached out, calling for her blade. Anger burned within her. The blade answered. The moment the handle met her palm she lurched up. But Lucifer was expecting it. The very tip of Azra’s blade dug into his cheek as his hands held her wrists. 

 

One quick movement was all it took. All that was needed for Lucifer to plunge death’s blade into Gabriel. The blade that was still held in it’s owner’s hand. 

 

Azra’s eyes went wide once more as they burned badly. Lucifer pulled her wrist back. The blade pulled out of Gabriel. He fell back, the pain in his eyes getting brighter with each moment. Azra dropped her weapon. 

    “No no no no. No! Uncle Gabe… Gabe? Gabriel!” Her eyes held her desperation as the tears spilled. “Gabriel..” 

    “Little Angel… I had to. I hope you see tha-” 

    “ _ Shut up _ !” Azra screamed at Lucifer. With that, he was gone. Azrael turned back to Gabriel. His wings were shriveling up, turning to ash. 

     “Celia… You can gain answers.. From..” 

     “Shhhhh. Stop.. stop talking.” Azrael slipped off her jean jacket and pressed the fabric to Gabe’s wound. But they both knew Gabriel’s fate. He was stabbed by death’s blade. There was no way to come back from that. Gabe wiggled his brows pathetically. It caused a short and sad laugh to burst from his niece. Tears dripped off her chin as she sniffled. “Please.. Please don’t go.” 

    “Your wings..” Gabriel started, unable to finish his sentence. Azra gave her nod before her wings spread out above her. Gabriel’s hand shakily rose as he pointed at a spot on her left wing. 

    Azrael’s eyes met back with her uncle’s after they looked at it. She wiped her wet cheek as more tears fell. “Y-yeah. It’s been like that for a while. It happened when I went by the name Angel Brown for a little while..” 

    The smile shone in Gabriel’s eyes before it did on his lips. It was at the mention  _ brown _ . His hand reached up to Azra’s cheek. She placed her own hand over his as he tried to smooth away the tears with his thumb. “You look… j-just l.. Like your… mother.” He paused. He was fading, and Azra could feel it. “Act just l-like your f-father.. Ede.” Slowly he moved her hand to his forehead. 

    “N-no. Gabriel I can’t.” 

    “You can.” He breathed. The pain swelled in his eyes. She hated to see him like this, but she didn’t want to have to kill another family member. Azrael’s wings curled behind her as she put Gabriel out of his misery. His hand dropped from her cheek. She hunched over, not even holding back the sobs anymore. She just let it all out as her wings disappeared. She place’s Gabriel’s hands on his stomach, over her jacket. 

Gently she closed his eyes. 

She could hardly see through hers. Not with how heavily the tears streamed from them. 

Azrael just couldn’t face it. She had saw his fake death. Why not the real one?


	13. Where Do I Start?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found that looking over the last book to match up a few facts that I've been spelling Azrael's Hellhoud/dog's name differently. In "If Only.." I spelled it Caelia, but in this one I spell it Celia. I looked it up and it means the same thing. Plus I sorta like this spelling over the other, it looks less complicated. So heads up, there is a difference in spelling, no difference in meaning.

Azrael took in a deep breath. She still trembled. Her her blade still stained in blood. Azra kept rubbing her hands that had long since been washed several times. Her own blade killed her uncle. Nothing would ever change that. Somehow she forced herself to straighten up. Her fists clenched before she rose her head. Biting her lip she went to the place that Gabriel wanted her to go. She could only assume that one person could really tell her about Celia and give her answers. 

 

The room was mostly dark. Mainly lit by a single lamp and a computer screen. The tap of keys danced around before slowly meeting it’s end. His and reached for his drink, and Azra sensed the power that basically bounced off the walls. She placed her own on top of it as his fingers met the glass. 

    “You aren’t zapping out on me now. I was told you had answers. Some of those I  _ really  _ need…. Grandfather.” Chuck seemed surprised for several moments, before his features softened. He gave a sigh and motioned for Azra to sit. 

 

Chuck was on his feet, drink in hand. Azra had one as well as she sat on the edge of the desk. Celia appeared and sat at her feet. Chuck gave the creature a look. 

    “Grandfather… this is my hellhound, Celia.” Azrael spoke. The dog tilted her head at the powerful being in front of them. 

    He let out a chuckle. “Celia… latin for Heaven… the name of a hellhound.”

    “She basically gave me more time while I was dying. If it wasn’t for her I would have died in an alley.” 

    “You know Eden,” Chuck still had a small smile upon his lips. “Heaven would be the most ironic name for a hellhound. But Celia here, is not.” 

    “What?” Azra lowered the drink from her mouth. She looked to chuck in disbelief. 

    Chuck gave her a nod before sitting next to her. “Where do I start?” He pondered out loud. 

    “From the beginning I guess..” Azrael crossed her legs in front of her. She had cleared off the desk a little before she had sat down. Celia set her head by her master’s feet. Azra ran her hand over her hound’s head. 

 

    Chuck let out a sigh, patting Celia before he started. “Well.. In the beginning there were four angels.” 

    “Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel..” Azra choked on the name. “And Raphael.” 

    “Partly correct.” Azra looked at him as he looked down at her. “The first two you got right. The last two you mentioned came a little later. No… after Michael and lucifer came the twins. Andrealphus and Mariel. Then came the last two archangels.” Chuck paused thoughtfully. “They were the first of my children to fall after Lucifer.” He shook his head. “Then went Gabriel… But they were all close, mostly anyway. Michael didn’t always get along with Andrealphus, but he could put up with Mariel from time to time. 

 

“But the twins along with Gabriel made their own life here on earth. Four of my oldest out of Heaven.. One being cast out and the other three falling… it was hard. But I never forgot about them. Andrealphus left to follow Lucifer only for a few centuries later for him to find someone he loved. Valorie is her name, I set Charoum to watch over her and Andrealphus’s daughter Alyssa. And Mariel found her own love. Her new name was Malia, and she found your father, Eden.” 

    “I’ve read the manuscript… and I’ve known for a while that Alyssa and I were cousins… but some of this is new to me.” She spoke softly, still petting Celia. Chuck nodded at her. 

    “When Andrealphus learned of his sister doing well on earth… He created Celia here. Just a kicked aside runt of the litter. She had a full tail back then. When he was killed she came to me for a while. He was going home to give little four-year old Alyssa a stuffed owl toy when they found him. Celia was with him too since he was going to send her to Malia.. She eventually ended up in hell with Lucifer. Thus she seemed to act like a hellhound.” Chuck rubbed the hound’s head. “She won’t hurt a fly.. Not without reason. She is a good dog, that was probably why Lucifer had he sit by your crib for all those years.. Even after you no longer were there. She probably followed you.” 

    “That explains why people can see her.” Azrael mentioned. She sighed before placing her head in her hands. “What the hell has my life come to?” 

The first response she was given was nothing but silence. Celia pressed her nose to Azra’s leg, causing her to stop hiding her face. 

 

    “You keep doing what you already are doing.” Chuck spoke. “You don’t just have your mother’s looks… You have a lot of her qualities. That mixed with your father… That is one combination there. Put your mind to it, and there just might be nothing that can stand in your way.” 

    The second wave of silence -this time much more comfortable- was broken by laughter. Sweat, bubbly and innocent. The sound rolled off Azrael’s lips as she shook her head. She compared the several years she had already spent like this to the moment she was in now. She no longer needed a fake ID, since she was twenty-one. But her real age, if she had never died, she would be fourteen. 

    Chuck set a hand on Azrael’s shoulder as he gave her a nod. His eyes widened for a second when she put her arms around him and pulled him closer. 

    “Thank you… Grandfather..” She whispered. Chuck then set an arm around her too. 

    “You’re welcome.” He spoke before they both went their separate ways. 


	14. New Neighbors

And so the year passed quickly. Azra took on small jobs here and there. The most common one she took up was waitressing. Sometimes she’d work in a mechanic shop. She moved often, but not to the point she didn’t become part of the community. She made friends all over, but not too close. Azra also learned to control a few of her abilities. Time never stopped going like it had before, but it was an eventful hundred years on her own. She’d stay in each place as long as she thought she was able. Sometimes testing her luck and staying a little longer. 

 

She happened to like the new place she had. It was a nice little town. She stepped into the home with a few scattered thoughts. There were some new people just moving in. Going over and making friends would be a good thing, and since they had a kid, bringing her dog would be beneficial before the other neighbors can make them terrified of the poor Hound. Then Azrael froze. Something was up.

    “Celia?” She called. No answer of any kind. The normal clink of her paws on the wood didn’t meet Azrael’s ears. “Celia?” She called again, only this time much louder. She dropped her bags and ran to the middle of the house. Her eyes glowed as she tested the place for any life. Nothing. But the back door was wide open. “Celia!” Azrael looked through the back, only to find nothing. Then she had a thought. Swiftly she went in and grabbed a picture of her beloved beast of a dog. Plans were changed as she made her way to the new neighbor’s place. Ringing the doorbell she only had to wait a few seconds. The door was open by the woman who had a friendly smile and dark hair. 

    “Hi, I was going to come over here anyway and see if you needed any help unpacking, but.. My dog got lose.” 

    “Oh no.” Lisa spoke. 

    “I hurried and made a few copies of one of my pictures of her, I’m not real crazy about pictures since she’s almost always with me. Her name is Celia, and, no matter what anyone else says.. She’s completely harmless. Celia’s a good dog, just.. Judged by anyone who comes across her.” 

    “What kind of dog is she?” Lisa asked. 

    “Mastiff mix. Trust me she’ll look like she can pull a truck, but she’s just a giant moving teddy bear.” 

    “Oh. How big is she?” 

    Azrael held her hand a little above her hip. “Her head comes up to about here.”     

   “My she is big.” 

    “Yeah.” Az handed Lisa a picture. “Oh where are my manners? My name is..” That was when she sensed it. A Winchester was in this house. With a discrete gulp, Az took in an even breath. “Angel Brown. I live two doors up the street, so if you spot Celia you don’t even have to catch her. I jotted my number at the bottom so just give me a call. I’m probably over reacting, but if you can keep an eye out for her, that would be amazing.” She was internally screaming, mostly at herself. 

    “We will. I’m Lisa, my son Ben is in the garage I believe with my boyfriend Dean.” 

    “I can’t thank you enough. Oh, and if you ever need anything or want to know something, you can just come over, or even give me a call. Thank you so much and it was great to meet you, hope I can meet with the rest of your family soon.” Az gave a smile before she turned off and walked down the street. She waited until she was at the park nearby before she let her shoulders slump. Dean living two doors down? And she had given a fake name that he knew. Maybe he wouldn’t recognize her. Or maybe he would. Then she was in deep shit because he’d find a way to corner her and start the questions. Was she supposed to answer with a ‘hey I’m your dead daughter who happened to be living down the street for about half a year now’? Azrael sunk down onto a bench. Celia was off hell knows where, and heaven knows what would happen if a hunter found her alone. That or Death. The chances of him finding her now were much greater than she would have liked. This day was just not getting any better. That was when her phone started ringing. 

    “Hello?” There was no way to hide the hope in her voice.

    “Eden.” And her heart sank. 

    “Oh… Hey Cas.” She had talked to him over the phone twice since the wearhouse. The conversation never went longer than ten minutes.

    “Is something wrong? You know all you have to do is tell me where you are and I can come.” Az had been avoiding doing that very thing. 

    “No… It’s just. I got back home and Celia was gone. She hasn’t been back yet and it looked and seemed like she has been gone for hours.” She purposely left out that her father was now her neighbor. 

    “Eden, let me come over. We can find her together.” 

    “Sorry Cas.. but no.” With that Az stood and hung up. She made the short journey back home, but stopped in front of Lisa’s house. She knocked this time. Lisa was the one to answer. 

    “Any luck?” 

    “No. Celia just might show up by tonight. I came to lend a hand. If you’re okay with that.” For that moment Azrael had forgotten that her father lived here now. But the moment she stepped through the door the fact was slammed right back into her face. As she helped Lisa finish off the kitchen she was questioned about her age, how long she had lived here. Most answers she gave truthfully. She was twenty-one, lived in this town for half a year. 

    “How long have you had Celia?” 

    “You can say we were raised together. Since I was younger. My uh.. My uncle gave her to me.” Azrael saw Lisa’s face. “No he’s not around anymore. Hasn’t been for a couple years now.” 

    “You were close.” Lisa observed. 

    “Yeah.” Az said softly. A boy came down the stairs catching both women’s attention. 

    “Oh Ben. This is Angel. She lives down the street and offered to help unpack.”

    “Did you come over earlier?” 

    “Yes I did.” Az smiled. “But you guys can feel free to call me Az, Angel is just a little too formal.” When she caught the looks she started to explain. “My middle name is Zeal, after a family friend. A lot of people call me Az anyway.” By now Ben had started to walk off. 

    There was a thud from the garage. “Lisa! Shut the door.” This caused them all to bolt to the garage that happened to be open. There was a brownish blur that skittered through the cramped space. Azra let out a loud whistle, and everyone froze. Even the dog. Dean was frozen to his spot. 

    “Sit.” Celia’s butt hit the concrete. She raised her paw up to a calming Dean. “Are you just going to leave her hanging?” The smile that graced Azrael’s face was real only for a few seconds. Then it was just hiding that she was pained to be this close to her father and lie. Right along with the fear that she was going to be found. Her hope was that Death just gave up. He never cared much for having to ‘babysit’ Azrael anyway. Dean’s phone rang and he looked up to Lisa. 

    “It’s Sam..” 

    “You can answer it.” She turned to Ben and Azrael. “C’mon.” They shut the door to the garage as Celia followed them to the kitchen. 

    “I need to get headed home anyway.” 

    “Thank you for helping.” Lisa smiled. 

    “Always. Just two doors up the street.” She gave a wink before heading home. 

 

When Azrael made it home she took in a deep breath. Her back slid down the door until she sat against it. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. 

Now what was she going to do?

Celia whimpered and lay her head on Azra’s legs. 

 

Her phone rang, but it went ignored. 


	15. Already Hard Enough

Azrael once more tested her luck. She stayed a few more months. In that time Dean was back and forth with hunts and being home when he could. It was better for Azra for him to be away. She liked Lisa but he missed out on his chance of living the life he was trying to when her mother died. She knew he was trying to recreate what he had. Azra just with he could see it the way she did. He was just hurting them. 

 

But she couldn’t take that chance anymore. She had become good friends with the Braeden's, but she had to move on. For everyone’s sake. 

 

There was a knock at the door as Azrael placed a few more things into the bag. It wasn’t much, it was never very much.

    “It’s unlocked!” She called out. Celia only lifted her head as the person shut the front door behind them. 

    “Az… I just really need to… Wait. Are you leaving?” 

    “One thing at a time.” She pulled up one of the chairs by the island, motioning with her head for Ben to pull up a seat too. “You first.” 

    With a sigh he complied, sitting on the edge of his seat on the other end of the small counter like area. “Well… It’s Dean.” Az nodded. “He hasn’t come home since the other night..” 

    “When he shoved you?” She knew that he only talked with her about these things. 

    “Yeah. It’s just… Mom has a date now, and I don’t know why Dean is gone. He’s running out on us and I feel like it was something I did.. Maybe by not talking about it..” 

    “Hey. Nothing is your fault kid.. Your mom has to move on sometime. If he keeps going and leaving.. That’s Dean’s way of protecting you both. He loves you so much he stays away so you can have a normal life. Dean.. is in a way running out, but he has you both in his best interest. There is no  _ if  _ something will follow him home one of these days. Its a  _ when _ . There will come a day when he isn’t home and you and your mother will face something you can’t handle. That or he doesn’t like what he brings home to you when he sits down at the table.” 

    “You talk like you know exactly what he’s doing and why.” 

    “I do and I don’t,” Azrael paused. “My dad was the same way.” Ben looked up as his eyes widened. She never spoke of her family much. In reality what kept going through her mind was that she was supposed to be a year older than him. “I think if he would have had another choice he would have found a way for me to have never met him.” 

    “Why?” Azra cracked a sad smile as Ben’s eyebrows furrowed. 

    “Because of the life he lived and he didn’t want to drag me into it.”  _ Because it was that life that got me killed.  _ “He loved me. He did, and very much. We were close for what time I got to spend with him. My father lived the same kinda life that Dean does.”  _ Since my father is Dean. _

“And that life sucks. You have no clue how bad it actually is. Dean tells you you don’t want that kind of life. He’s right. It’s long hours, shit pay. It drags you everywhere, away from family, and it is dangerous beyond what anyone can describe. It’s a life you don’t want..” 

    “But.. You got out didn’t you? You turned out fine. That means it's not that bad.. Right?” 

    “I am the worst example you could ever make. I really haven’t gotten out of it. That life still follows me. I am still haunted by it. I wouldn’t even call my position as having ‘gotten out’.”  _ I died. That doesn’t mean I’m out because I was just dragged right back in. _

__ Ben sighed, avoiding eye contact for several moments. “So.. you’re leaving.” It wasn’t a question this time. “There’s no sign.” 

    “The house has already sold… so.. Yeah. I gotta go Ben. My job is calling for me to move. I can’t stay anymore. ‘Cause life ain’t fair.” She saw the look he gave and she set a hand on his shoulder. “This is how it’s been for a long time. It’s how it’ll be for much longer.” Ben slid off and gave the young woman a hug. 

    “Just come over before you leave.. Please.” 

    “I can come over for just a little while now. But I need to leave. Call it that my boss is gettin a little itchy.” More like she was worrying he’d find her. Give me a second, I just gotta finish this up. Then we can go over.” She gave Ben a smile before she set her last few things in her bag. “Alright.” 

 

Azrael and Ben kicked around a soccer ball in the back yard. The laughter that brightened the air was nothing but real. Something Azra hadn’t felt in a long time. Accidentally she kicked the ball too hard. It flew across the backyard. Ben and Celia bloated after it. Lisa came up to Azra as she caught her breath. Celia got to the soccer ball before Ben and kept it away from him. Both women smiled. The cross around Azrael’s neck had made it’s way from behind her button up. 

    “I don’t know how or why… But he seems to really love you.” Lisa commented as Ben played with Celia. 

    “He’s like that little brother I never had.” Azra smiled while Celia tackled Ben. “He tell you the news?” 

    “Yeah. I feel like there was something I could have done.” 

    “No, no. It’s nothing anyone can really change. One big complicated mess that has been my life for as long as I can remember.” The setting sun somehow caused this scene to become so peaceful. “I would offer to stay here with Ben,” Azra pointed out the dress Lisa wore. “But I need to get going. Don’t wanna drag this out more than I have to.” She whistled. “Celia, c’mon girl.” The hound got up from rolling in the grass and trotted over. Ben slowly followed. 

    “I can never thank you enough for all you’ve done.” Lisa took Azra’s hand as if to shake, but she pulled the younger girl in for a tight hug. “I hate to say goodbye.” 

    “Trust me I do too.” Azra whispered. She closed her eyes, feeling like she had been part of the family. It was only when Dean was gone that she came over the most. Ben was next. He clung onto her. She had already bought a new place in Kansas. She felt more connected to the state. 

    “Do you have to go?” 

    “Sadly I do.” Azra pulled back. “Well… Goodbye.” 

 

They waved as Azrael walked back home. She loaded everything in that old mustang that she seemed to like so much. Celia jumped to the passenger seat like she always had each time they did this. But this time it hurt much more. Azrael just didn’t want to let go. Of what family she had found. Most of all she didn’t want to leave what connection she had to her father. It was one of those necessary evils. Something that needed to be done. 

 

She honked as she drove past their house while that Impala pulled up. Azra’s knuckles turned white, wrapped around the steering wheel. She left just in time. Because she would have never left if Dean Winchester was there. This goodbye was already hard enough. 


	16. Pouring Down Rain

 

_     “You have the colt?” The Azazel asked the man in front of them. He nodded. She swore he looked familiar. Azra should have known him from somewhere. But the man set the gun on the empty hospital bed next to him. “Take him Azrael.”  _

 

_ She held her breath as her fingers touched the man’s head. He fell instantly. The Demon shoved a wooden coin into her hand. Then Azazel took the soul while Azrael stayed behind. Masking herself from the real world she stayed with his body. She knew him from somewhere. Azra knew, and it drove her mad. She was brought back to what was happening when the sound of a cup hit the ground. Her eyes widened when Sam rushed over to the dead man.  _

_     “Dad?  _ Dad _! Someone help!” He yelled.  _

_     “N-no.. no!” Azrael’s eyes widened impossibly more. She looked at her hands then back up to her uncle. She had just taken the life of her grandfather. Of John Winchester. “No.. no this can’t be..” Her hands dug through her hair as she tried to make sense of it. No this couldn’t be happening. She had told herself she was done killing family. That no matter what she wouldn’t do it again. She hit her knees and let out a scream.  _

 

Her eyes peeled open and she sat up with a start. Azrael’s heart was racing and sweat rolled down her neck. She took in deep breaths. Azra’s ponytail was messy from sleep. Her eyes found the alarm clock reading 1 a.m. It happened to be one of those rare nights she was able to find sleep. Sometimes all it took was patience. Just because she didn’t need it, did not mean that she couldn’t find it. Slowly Azra slipped out of her bed and padded to the bathroom. She ran the water cold before splashing it on her face. After turning the water off her hands held onto the edges of the sink. She let her silver blue eye raise to find herself looking back. A few water droplets dripped from her face before she took the towel that rested on the holder and dried her face. She pulled the cloth away from her face, catching dark eyes looking at her from the mirror. 

 

With a yelp she braced herself against the sink as she jumped around. Nothing was there. She let out a deep breath. Celia poked her head inside the small room, nudging the door open. 

    “Everything’s okay girl. We’re good.” She placed the towel back where it had been. Azra patted her dog’s head as she walked out. The dream had felt so real. But it  _ couldn’t  _ have been. It just couldn’t. “We’re good.” She repeated more to herself as her heart slowed little by little.

…

 

Azrael opened the door to the small house. Celia pushed through the door before she could walk in herself. That caused a small laugh to flow through the small place. 

    “You’re a little more excited than normal to be home.” When there was no sound, Azrael’s smile dropped. “Celia.” She called out as she moved through the small house. Then her eyes found the wooden coin on the table. The silver swelled in her eyes as she sucked in a breath. “No-” 

    “It’s about time you got home Azrael.” She stiffened at his voice while chills ran up her spine. The air in the house became colder. Azra slowly spun around. Celia sat by his feet, her head down submissively. Slowly Azra’s eyes rose to meet with the man she had avoided for a year and a half. Her nails dug into her palms as she swallowed. There was no emotion in his voice. It was normal, but it was much worse now.

    “Death.” Azrael found her voice. “If it’s about me bringing Dean back… I would do the same thing over if I had the chance.” 

    “No it’s not that. Michael would have ordered for him to be brought back.” Death stepped forward. His cain clicked against the hardwood flooring. “I had wanted to award you for that. Get something that is a pain out of the way and done with. But then you go and help Alyssa. That is her name, correct?” He paused as he looked back at Azrael. She stayed silent. “You help her and the Winchesters. We are the bringers of death.  _ Not  _ mercy.” His look hardened. 

“Then, you run off. You gave a good chase. But that’s over now. Come Azrael.” 

    “No.” She spoke, setting her shoulders. She was tired of being pushed around. Death turned. His displeasure was evident. But Azra really couldn’t give a damn at the moment. 

    “What was that?” Death asked in annoyance. It was his warning for her to rethink her next move. He dared her to repeat herself. 

    And she dared along with putting her foot down. “ _ No _ .” Her voice rose. Much more confident now. “N. O.”  

    There was a gust of air that blew in her face as Death stood in front of her now. They stared each other down. “Repeat that one more time. See where it lands you.” He warned her.

  “I’m  _ done _ .” She snarled. Death took her by the jaw, leaning in real close. Azra narrowed her eyes. “No.” 

    “You have disobeyed me for the last time.” Death tossed her to the floor like it was nothing. Celia let out a deep growl. That was when he took ahold of Azra’s arm. The very one that held the scars from the night she had died. Scars caused by a hellhound. That was when a searing pain burned the girl’s arm. Azra let out a small cry before clenching her teeth through the deep pain. Celia lurched forward at Death. Azra heard the yelp, and no longer saw her dog. 

    “Celia!” She called out. “Ah!” She flinched at the continued pain.

    “It is time I teach you to come when called. Am I clear Azrael?” She was practically being branded. The sting of the fire still lingered when Death let her go. She looked at her arm. The edge of her shoulder had a scratched scar, and now a mark. It looked like a tattoo. The Crow looked as if it were about to land, it's wings cupped, and it's eye white. Azrael couldn't take her eyes from it, before Death grabbed her by the back collar of her shirt and forced her to her feet. It would be a lie saying she wasn't scared now. Not to what Death would do to her, but the look in his eyes. She was afraid of what he’d make  _ her  _ do. 

 

Then they were launched into the future, or the past. Azrael couldn't tell. Her head spun from the pain too much. They were in a warehouse. Then she saw them. 

    “Sam hold up. Hold up.” Dean had blood all over his face. His hand being pressed down onto a cloth over a stab wound by Sam’s. The younger struggling to keep his older brother on his feet. 

    “No… No. No no no.” There was a burning in Azrael’s wide eyes. “Don't.  _ Don't _ make me do this. Let him live!” She begged. “Take me damn it if you have to. Just leave him alone.” She begged.

Sam found something stable to lean Dean onto. Both trying to catch their breath, but it was much harder for the older of the two. 

    “Azrael.  _ Azrael _ .” Death hissed harshly. He took up her hands behind her back as she struggled. He forced her forward, toward the two brothers as Dean looked to Sam. But she still fought him with each step.

    “I need to say something.” 

    “What?” Sam asked softly. 

    “No!  _ No _ !” She cried. “Don't… Stop!” She still pathetically struggled. “ _ Dad _ !” 

    “I'm proud of us.” He set his hand on Sam’s cheek. Dean had his head held high. This was when Death took Azrael’s hand, and jerked it onto her own father’s shoulder. Her eyes unintentionally glowed. Dean’s head lulled down, before setting onto his brother’s shoulder. 

    “Hey, hey, hey, hey. Wake up buddy, hey. Dean? Dean!” 

By now tears streamed down Azrael’s face as Death held her tightly against him. She let out a scream before he pushed her away. Her father’s ghost standing next to him. First Death looked at her as she slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position. Then Dean did, almost confused and shocked for what was playing out. 

    “Am. I. Clear?” Death demanded. 

More tears rolled down Azrael’s cheek as a reaper appeared to take Dean wherever he would go. Her hysterical sobs made it hard to answer. Azra closed her eyes and lowered her head. When she opened them again, she looked to Death with a growing look of hate. But with the snap of his fingers she was taken back to her own time from whatever time Death had dragged her to. Possibly sometime in the future. The crow on her upper arm burned with a submissive fire. 

    “Castiel? Cas I don't care anymore! Get your ass down here.” Her voice was fogged with tears as her shoulders racked from the sobs. “ _ Please _ .” Came out much softer. She was on her knees, asking for him after so long of avoiding him. She couldn't take it anymore. Azrael needed him. Then the sound of wings, feathers brushing the air. Cas kneeled down, and she buried her face, sobbing into his shoulder. 

    “Shhh. It's okay Eden. Let it all out. Whatever it was it's over.” After some silence she was able to squeak out a response. 

    “No.. Cas he made me kill Dad. He took my hand and made me kill him.” Azrael cried into Cas’s trench coat. “I don't know when it was. But Cas it wasn't like the last time he made me do it. This has to be some time in the future…” That was all the rest she could say. So they both were down on their knees. Azrael in Castiel’s arms, creating a large wet spot on the shoulder of his coat. But Cas couldn't care less. So they both sat there together for a while longer. 

 

Slowly her tears ended. Eventually she stopped shaking. And finally her breathing evened out. Cas looked down to find her asleep. He didn’t care for the moment. She needed this. With care, Castiel lifted Azra into his arms and carried her to her room. He gently set her down. With a few moments of indecision, he kicked off his shoes and laid there with her. Castiel took off his trench coat and draped it over Azrael’s sleeping form. Her lashes still wet from the tears. Cas wiped her cheeks thoughtfully. He wondered if she had missed him as much as he did her. That didn’t exactly matter at the moment as Azra clutched the coat, and shifted her head to rest on his side. Castiel slid an arm under Azrael. The patter against the window picked up as it started pouring down rain.


	17. For You

 

_-Week 1-_

She kept her eyes closed as she woke. She let out a sigh. Stretching her hand brushed the spot beside her. It was still warm, but lacked the body that had been next to her. Azrael cracked open an eye and looked around.  When she found no one around she slipped out of bed. Walking toward the heart of the house she noticed him in the kitchen. She leaned against the threshold and watched him for a moment. Celia was at his feet, waiting for him to drop something. He almost dropped an egg but managed to catch it. Azra hardly held in her snort. His trenchcoat was set around her shoulders. She set her head against the wall next to her.

    “Cas.” She lulled. He stopped what he was trying to do immediately and looked back at her. “You don’t have to.. I’m not that hungry anyway..”

    “What about your arm?”

    “It’s fine…” She happened to flinch at that moment.

    “That does not look fine.” Castiel reached into a plastic popcorn bowl that he had set in the sink. He took out a cloth that had been set to soak in the ice water with a few others. He strained out the extra water before he walked up to Azrael. Her hands kept up his coat as he moved it a little from her right shoulder. From there he rolled up her short shirt sleeve and untied the last cloth that had lost its coolness.  This was the first time he saw her upper bicep. Azra wouldn’t even let him touch the arm until now.

 

To distract herself she soaked in his appearance. His deep blue eyes. Of how he had his white dress shirt sleeves rolled up to the crook of his arm. Of how his dark hair was still sticking up in random places.

 

Castiel gently ran a finger over the scars and brand. This caused a small hiss to escape Azra’s lips. He stopped the moment he heard the sound. Quickly pressing the freezing cloth to her arm before tying it there. Sweetly he placed his coat back over her shoulder. With a deep breath she closed her eyes and set her head on Castiel’s shoulder.

 

_-Week 2-_

 

Azrael turned over, rolling right into Cas’s arms. Her head now rested against his bare chest. She smiled, taking in his heat and scent.

    “Cas?” She asked sleepily as he kissed her temple. His lips trailed down to her cheek.

    He hummed in response as she giggled.

    “What the hell do you do all night if you don’t sleep?”

    “I like to think of it as watching over you until you wake. I do have a beautiful woman under my arm.”

    Azra’s light laugh caused Castiel to smile. The sound vibrated against his chest as she pressed her face more into his skin. “You are such a romantic sap,” she continued to laugh. It was much better than she had been.

    “I hope I am no sap. That would get a little sti-”

    Azra’s finger met Cas’s lip. “Do not. Finish that sentence. So help me I will push you off this bed.” She opened her eyes and looked up at him. Though her feet went past his. Castiel’s eyes flickered with temptation. “Castiel I will feel no guilt. I will do it.” The smile that spread over his face only showed that he found it funny with how red she was getting. “Do not test me.”

 

     Castiel wrapped his arms around Azra’s shoulders and pulled her up.

    “Cas. Knock it off. I’m warning you.” She squirmed as she laughed. “Castiel!” The next thing Azrael knew, was that she had the bed all to herself. There was a deep chuckle that came from the floor. She smiled mischievously as some green swirled into her eyes, replacing the silver as she looked down at him. Her dirty blonde hair was spread out around her shoulders in innocent curls.

“You know.. You look _much_ cuter on the floor.” She plopped back down happily. Castiel stood and slipped on his pants. He stood over Azrael, bending down to kiss her.

    “You coming?”

    Azra cracked open an eye before quickly shutting it. “Five more minutes mom.”

    “That is all the time I will allow you before I am back here. Or ‘so help me’ I will drag you out of bed.”

    “And?” She cheekily opened an eye.

    “And I will feel no remorse.”

    “Okay.” She flashed a smile before laughing at Cas. She was alright with either happening.

 

It wasn’t very long before she walked into the kitchen. Azra never grew tired of watching Cas attempt to cook for her. His dress shirt bunched at her wrists. She had on a pair of sleeping shorts since Castiel’s shirt didn’t fully offer much cover. She had it all neatly buttoned up. Much unlike Castiel had some mornings. Azrael crossed her arms as Cas tossed a piece of sausage to Celia. Some of her hair bunched over her shoulder. Celia almost caught the piece of meat, but it ended up on the floor. The bowl was still in the sink, only that the cloths were being used every now and then.

    “Halfway there.” Castiel gave her another small bit as he patted her head.

    “Oh, we’re halfway there, oh. Livin’ on a prayer. Take my hand, we’ll make it I swear. Oh, Livin’ on a prayer.” Azra humbed. Castiel’s striking blue eyes rose to meet Azrael’s. The green had come back. Some of it was dotting over the teal blue of her eyes. Castiel stepped over to her. The funny part was that she was almost taller than he was, getting her height from her father’s side of the family.

    “You know. You look cute in my shirt.” Azrael shook her head at him. Castiel held a hand under her jaw as he leaned in and kissed her.

 

_-Week 5-_

 

    “Because Cas. This war is getting a little out of hand.”

    “I feel if you join us we can win this.”

    “Ass or not, that archangel is my uncle. I am _done_ killing anyone related to me. Or even seemingly related. Cas. I _want_ to help. I really do. But I _can’t_.”

    “I understand.” Castiel sighed. That shimmer in his eye. It was the same one that had been in her own at one point in time, and she knew it wasn’t good.

    “Castiel. Whatever you have planned. Please. Think it out, for me.”

    “I am doing it for you.” He rubbed his thumb over her cheek. She leaned into his touch. “I love you.”

    “I love you too.” She whispered back to him.

So they stood like that for a little while. Happily so and without a word. 


	18. New Best Friend

The first few days passed by. Azrael watched. She waited. Cas never came, no such thing as a phone call. All she got was about this new ‘God’. Death showed his face several times during this to tell her to come. She always knew he was coming since the brand on her right arm stung. Eventually Death stopped coming. The brand burned whenever he called for her.    

Day turned to months. She had to play it by ear now. Azra had to constantly listen to Death complain about the monsters that Castiel let out of purgatory. But the one piece of information that she held on tightly to was when she heard that Cas was in a coma state in a mental ward. So she did the only thing she could. She hightailed it to him. 

Azrael opened her eyes. She sucked in a breath, finding the rumor to be true. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that she was terrified to find it true. With a gulp Azra stepped forward. 

    “Take one more step.” A warning came from the door. 

    Azrael’s eyes looked the demon up and down, sizing her up. “You have no leverage in threatening me. No, it should be the other way around.” Azra stood between the demon and Castiel. 

    The demon relaxed. “You care for him..” She looked between Azra and Castiel’s unconscious form. The look in the angel’s eyes said all she needed to know. “I’m Meg.” 

    The angel relaxed only slightly. “Azrael.” 

 

Meg stepped back, giving them space. Azra stepped up to the bed. She placed her hands on both sides of Castiel’s head. Leaning down she kissed his forehead. 

    “What are you doing?” Meg asked. 

    “I’m sorry.” Azra whispered. The destruction that had once been in her uncle’s mind, transferred to her. 

    “No.. I am not taking care of another-“ Meg wasn’t able to finish. 

    Azrael’s hands slipped from Cas’s face, one hitting the wall. It left a dent. Azra’s eyes glowed red. “Anything familiar here Cas? I’m cleaning up your messes again.” She laughed. With clenched teeth, Azra rode out the pain. 

 

By the time her eyes opened the room was spinning. 

    “What the hell was that?” Meg demanded on her knees in front of the angel. Using the wall for support Azrael stood again. She looked down at the demon. 

    “He’d do the same for me. But I can handle it more than him.” 

    “How are you not deep fried?” 

    “Like I said. I can take it much better than he can. It is my uncle so it’s my demon to face. It can’t hurt me like it did him.” Azrael cast her look to Castiel. He showed no sign of waking up. She ran her fingers over his hair. “You dumbass.” She whispered before kissing him. “Just come back… alright?” With that said she turned back to Meg. “Take care of him.. and call me when he’s up.” The brand on her arm seared. Meg nodded and Azra disappeared. 

...

 

Lightning struck the ground that night. Something called for her, something that spoke above Death. A new mark was sketched over Azra’s heart. Another crow, with smaller figures of the same bird creating the bigger one. But this one had more meaning than Death’s brand. Azrael welcomed it without complaint. She took up the post she was tasked with, and waited out the night. 

 

The boy awoke with a start as Azra leaned back and sipped her milk. 

    “‘Bout time you woke up kid.” She muttered. 

    He jumped with a screech. “Who are you? H-how the hell did you get in here?” He demanded. Azra finished off her cup of milk. “Wait… Hey that was the last of the gallon!” 

    “Calm down. The expiration date is today and I don’t think you were going to be using it. Not now anyway. I’m your new best friend kid.” Azrael casually walked to the kitchen and rinsed out the cup. “Kevin Tran you have been chosen, as have I.” She set the cup in the sink. 

    “What the hell are you doing? Chosen for what!” His questions never ceased. 

    “I apologize that my parents raised me to be polite in a stranger’s house.” Azra had to chuckle to herself at that one. If only she had a nickle for each time her father broke into a house while she was with them. 

    “Who are you!” 

    “Oh, right.” She was pulled from the little memory. “I’m Azrael. I was chosen to watch over you.” 

    “The nicest thing you could do at the moment is come out and tell me you are screwing with me. I have a test today and-” 

    “I don’t make the rules. If I had any say you’d be taking that test now.” 

    “Wait.. Oh shit!” Kevin went to take off but Azra grabbed the back collar of his shirt. She smacked the back of his head. Kevin’s eyes started to glow. 

    “That’s much better.” She muttered. “Kevin, where do we need to go?” Azra looked down at the boy and read his mind. “Simple enough..” 

… 

So, they had a little time to ‘bond’. 

It had been only a few minutes since she had zapped Kevin to where he needed to go before she sensed his danger. Quickly she appeared in front of the man who pointed a gun at the profit. The man was disarmed in moments. Azrael’s eyes were silver as she stared the two down. The glare never faltered as she found the two to be the Winchester brothers. She became tense instantly. Some of her blonde hair slid in front of her face. 

    “You alright, Kevin?” She asked without turning around. 

    “I-I’m fine Az..” Kevin spoke. He just started using nicknames she hadn’t gone by in a while. It irritated her but she knew he wouldn’t stop. 

    “Az?” Dean asked. “I haven’t heard that name…” And he slowly figured it out. “Angel Brown.” Sam’s eyes went wide. 

    “Good to see you still remember me.” She spoke, straightening up some. 

    “You've changed..” Sam pointed out. 

    “If you faced what I had, you would have too.” 

    “Wait wait.. Wait. Hold it. How are you still alive?” Dean asked. 

    “My wing was pretty messed up from that day. But it takes a little more than just a simple knife to take me out.” Then they were all teleported into Cas’s room. The man was on his feet. 

    “Azrael.” He spoke happily before putting his arms around her. 

    “Castiel.” She had stiffened. 

    “Forgot to mention that he was awake.” Meg spoke. 

    “Oh, I didn’t notice.” Azrael grumbled. “As if I couldn’t see already.” She motioned to the man that held her in a tight hug. It was making her uncomfortable. 

_   “Awww. isn’t this cute.” _ Azra set her jaw as she heard her uncle’s voice. 

_ ‘Not now Lucifer.’  _ She warned. 

    “Azrael?” Sam spoke. “As in  _ angel of death _ , Azrael?”

_ “Why not?” _ Lucifer gave his puppy eyes. 

    “The one and only. Sadly.” Azra sighed. “And I am one of the deaths.” 

    “How..  _ why  _ are there two?” Dean asked. 

_     “One just isn’t enough Deano.”  _

    “In the place of great carnage, is where the angel of death will rise. In my opinion it should have been worded ‘bringer of death’. Either way the term angel and death are used loosely. To have the angel you first need the horsemen. People assume it’s just Death you rise. Technically you do get death, only two. Thought they think there is only one. But with Death comes Azrael. Death is risen first, and from there Azrael is…. Risen, awoken, created. Whatever goddamn term floats your boat.” She looked at Cas. “You can let go now Castiel... Anytime now.” She squirmed uncomfortably in his embrace. “Seriously.  _ Let go _ .” 

_ “Where is the fun in that one?” _

Finally when Castile let go, Azrael stepped back. 

    Dean swallowed. “Thank you. For saving my daughter.” 

    “Don’t mention it.” She muttered. Dean went to say more when she lifted her hand. “Really.  _ Don’t  _ mention it.” 

 

The moment was interrupted by more angels. They were there for Kevin. 

    “Castiel. You.. should be dead.” One mentioned. Azra sent a glare to Meg, that part had been left out. “And you. Who are you?”  

    “Your new best friend, or worst nightmare. Depends on the day.” Azra flashed them a sarcastic smile. 

    “Take her with us along with the profit.” The woman told.

    “No. Not happening.” Azra interjected. 

    “Excuse me.” 

    “Just my luck. We got a sharp one here.” Azra mumbled. “He’s not going anywhere. Neither am I.” 

    “What are you?” The woman narrowed her eyes. 

    “Currently, a distraction.” In that moment Meg slammed her hand onto the wall. All angels except Azrael were cast out. 

 

    “How the hell are you still here?” Dean questioned. Azra had grabbed onto Castiel so he wasn’t banished for the moment. 

    “Again. I’m death. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” She went to speak again when the brand on her right arm burned intensely. “Son of a bitch!” Azra growled. Her hand grabbed onto the searing part of her biceps. Castiel froze as Azra bent her knees in pain. 

    “Are you-” Sam started but was cut off. 

    “Now if you dumbasses are done here, I have a pissed off horsemen to talk to. Gee thanks.” With that Azrael took her leave. 


	19. Part II

**[Part II]**

 

He 

_ Thinks I am reckless.  _

_ Irresponsible.  _

_ A pain.  _

_ But it was  _ He

_ Who took everything  _

_ Away from  _ **_me_ **

 

_ Pretty boy,  _

_ You ain’t seen nothing yet _


	20. Great-Grandpa Winchester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not going to be able to post tomorrow morning since I will be busy, so here's the next chapter a little early. There may or may not be another one posted tomorrow. Either that or it may be just a little bit (this might just be a sneak peek into part II ... I haven't quite decided yet)

 

Azrael only saw Cas twice after that. It was majorly involved with her being around Kevin. But while they were in the same room, they hid their feelings. Castiel knew how awkward it was for Azra to show affection to him in front of her father. Another stretch of days that went by without her seeing Cas. Once more, days quickly turned to months. All Azra could do was keep on going with whatever Death assigned her. He started placing her with more jobs since the branding. But she had to postpone them often for Kevin. When she finally found him again that is. Azrael had saved the boy’s ass from more things than can be counted on two hands. The hard part was since she couldn’t always be around him. They both knew it was better to just check in. It was Kevin who explained that he lost contact with Sam. That he had been with the Winchesters the night that Cas and Dean disappeared.

    

    “How long ago was that?” She asked, sitting on the bar of the little safehouse.

    “About.. Ten months?” Kevin spoke.

    “Goddamnit!” Azra roared. “They’ve been in fucking Purgatory for ten months!” The angel shouted. She ran her hands through her hair. “How?” A sharp turn and those silver blue eyes burned into the young profit.

    “They took down Dick Roman.. The head Leviathan.”

    The only response Kevin received was a loud smack as something hit the wall and shattered. If he had to guess, it would have been a chair.  

 

_-5 months later-_

 

    Slade slowly made his way to her. “Hey.” His voice was soft.

    Azrael’s finger moved in a circle on the top of her glass. “Hello.” With a sigh she closed her eyes. “He was in purgatory last I heard.. Slade I know him. With what happened in Heaven.. He might want to stay there.. And that scares me. Hell. it _terrifies me_.” She bit her tongue as the burning rose at the back of her eyes. “I don’t know how much more of any of this shit I can take without him. To add on top of it dad’s there too.” She looked up at Slade then. He could see all the pain that had built up over the years. And it was damn hard for him to watch her like this.

    He walked over, and sat next to her. “You’ve gone much longer than a lot of people thought you might have. You’ve come back from the brink of breaking so many times.. It surely has impressed us all.” Azrael knew he spoke of the reapers. “Anyone, human or not. Can only take so much. I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to quit.” The next thing he said was much quieter, but unexpected at the least. “It’s happened to the best of us.”

    Azra looked away again. “Yeah.” She spoke softly.

    “But that’s not what I’m here for. So three months..” Azrael lifted her head, but delayed a second before looking Slade back in the eye. Just the look he had spelled something. “He’s back.”

 

And she was gone before he could finish what he had to say. She was going to kick his ass, no doubt.

…

 

Azrael appeared in the Winchester’s motel room. Her arms were crossed and the brothers could feel the intensity of her stare on the back of their heads.

    “Where is he?” Her growl was low.

    “What do you mean?” Sam’s brows furrowed.

    “You know what the hell I mea-” Suddenly the closet door flew open. Everyone froze as the man stood up.

     _“Oh I know what you mean.”_ Lucifer wiggled his eyebrows.

    “Which one of you boys is John Winchester.”

    “So not awkward.” Azrael mumbled under her breath.

     _“Didn’t you kill him?”_

 _‘Lucifer not_ now _.’_

_“It’s just a question. I wanna know. Did you kill him or not?”_

_‘Lucifer!’_

_“Taking that as a yes.”_

 

Azrael took her leave once she knew no one would answer her question. But from the moment the man came, she knew he was a Winchester. She could sense it.  

 

Only for a few days later, it would be him she would come to reap. It was on Death’s orders.

 

Azra could see the image in his mind. A memory of a picture he saw in the brothers’ motel room. Of a young girl with dark almost brown hair. It was one of Eden.

    “The girl,” Azra spoke. “That is your great-granddaughter.”

    Henry Winchester looked all around. His eyes stopped on his own body for a moment. “Great….” He couldn’t quite finish.

    “Granddaughter. Yes. Her name was Eden, Dean’s daughter.”

    Finally Henry looked up. His eyes narrowed slightly. “Y-you.. You’re..”

    Azrael gave him a small smile and nod. “But I’m Azrael now. They don’t know, and don’t need too.”

    “Azra.” Slade spoke. She looked over her shoulder to greet the reaper. “Time to go.” He spoke to Henry this time.

    “And Abaddon?”

    “I think Dean and Sam have it covered.” Azrael comforted. “I wish you luck.” Slade put a hand on Henry’s shoulder as he started to lead Henry away. “Grandpa..”

 

Henry looked back at her as he and Slade faded. There was a hint of a smile in his eye.


	21. Stay for Me

She still hadn’t heard anything from Cas as the days rolled on by. At least she was able to get to Kevin once more, checking in on him over once and awhile. She grew even more frustrated at the fact once she found that Castiel was probably trying to avoid her. But she had a few other things to focus on now. One being the Winchesters. 

 

The moment she appeared Dean turned around with a gulp. 

    “So you and your brother try to shut down Hell.” She crossed her arms. “Castiel is God knows where..” Pinching the bridge of her nose she took in a breath. “Please tell me Kevin is here somewhere.” 

   “He’s here.” Dean spoke hesitantly. 

   “Good. One less thing I have to take out of your ass. Now where is Castiel?” 

   “He was here a second ago I-” Azrael tuned him out as she was able to tell the monsters that were going to hunt her father and uncle. They were headed after Winchesters. That meant that they may just go after her more. With a huff, she teleported away from her father. 

 

The moment she entered the building, all inhuman eyes looked right to her. Azrael wore her coat as she pulled out her blade. It was longer than most angel blades. The weapon was black with royal blue designs, much like her coat. It made it clear who the owner of it was. The blade itself almost reveled in the upcoming mass killing that would take place. It almost craved to have the blood soak it. The blade called for death. And it would get to feed like the hungry beast it was. 

…

 

Bodies were strewn all over the place as the sound of the elevator came up. The button that Azrael had pushed glowed as the numbers finally evened out. When the doors opened, she saw the figure waiting inside. Azra’s hood was up. Whenever she held her blade, it was as if she was different. Alyssa pulled out her weapon as her cousin entered the box before the doors closed. Her eyes looked over Azrael, taking in each little detail she may not have seen before. Her gaze lingered on the bloodstains over the long coat as Azra adjusted the hood and placed it down. 

 

The look in her cousin’s eyes showed that she found something different about the angel in front of her.

    “Angel of death meets the dark angel. Interesting.” She mutters. Azrael tossed her blade to her other hand, only for it to have split in two. She takes a deep breath, twirling them in her fingers. “It may not seem like it but it is good to see you little cousin.” Her eyes watched the floor numbers rise. “Our stop in four floors.” 

    “So..” Alyssa started. “Where are we going?”

    “Well I would hope it would have been obvious.” The voice popped up from over their shoulders. That both girl’s haven’t heard in a long time. “What was that old saying again? Hunting people, Saving business, Family things… Jump in anytime Azzy.” From the moment Gabriel first started speaking Azrael had became tense. 

    “Wait…” Alyssa’s confusion was evident. “You can see him?” Azra pulled her shoulders back, not answering either of them. 

    “Azzy here  _ is  _ death. So yeah she can see me.” Gabe looked at Alyssa before he set his jaw when shifting his gaze to the eldest of the two girls. “You’re still blaming yourself I see. And for a few other things too. C’mon Az. You can’t ignore me forever.” 

    “I am not having this conversation. Not now. Probably not ever. Especially not in a goddamn elevator with my dead uncle.” Azrael’s eyes were being engulfed in the silver. 

    “Ed y-” Before Gabriel could finish there was a ding that rang out through the box they were in. The Silver almost glowed in Azra’s eyes as she practically shoved the doors open and dove into the numerous creatures they were set to face. He shook his head. “Azrael!” He yelled after her. Slowly Alyssa stepped out along with their uncle. But the monsters swarmed around Azrael who kept up with their speed with her two blades. “You gotta talk about it sometime.” He almost scolded. Alyssa joined in the fight. 

    “You want me to talk? Then I’ll talk!” She pushed a creature away from her as she took out the two closest. “I do blame myself because I am to blame damn it! If I had just done what he asked I wouldn’t have been there and maybe you’d still be alive. Maybe I wouldn’t of had to…” Her anger built to the point her wings came into view. Light spread from her form. It was to the point that even Alyssa looked away. The bodies were spread all over after the light faded. 

Azrael’s wings were slowly folding as she tried to calm herself. The almost greyish feathers each had a darker color at every tip.

    “They use to be white with grey.” Gabriel looked sadden at the discovery that her wings had darkened in color. Azrael looked over to him. Her blades shifted back to one as she combined them once more. Without a word she turned and started to the stairs that lead to the roof. Silently Alyssa followed.

     “We all change and do things… we do not expect,” Alyssa spoke calmly, as they reached the top of the stairs. 

    “That may be true.. But not like this. God, not like this.” He almost seemed hurt. “I couldn’t begin to explain.” Suddenly he tensed. Azrael took out the last two monsters on the roof. They had both ran at her even though Alyssa was closer. With a sigh Azra walked to the barrier. Her eyes became the normal silver blue as her cousin walked closer to her. As she looked up at the star dotted sky there was almost a hint of green. They all looked to the night sky. That happened to be when the very air around the three seemed to change. Azrael tensed once more. Bright lights appeared from the heavens. 

    “Oh no.” Gabriel muttered. They all watched as more and more appeared. 

    “W-what is it?” Alyssa asked. 

    “Angels falling from Heaven.” Azrael’s voice was laced with calm. At a time like this, it was almost scary. But her defences were down. That was when Slade appeared beside her. He leaned in, whispering something in Azra’s ear. 

 

    “Az.. It’s Sam.” Just those three words made her go pale. “H-he’s dying.” 

    With a deep breath her eyes went from the ground to Alyssa. “I have to go.” With that she left.

 

She looked around, finding herself to be shorter than normal. Azra ran her fingers over her still-braided hair. It was darker. 

    “E-Eden?” She could feel the green swirl in her eyes as his voice spoke her name. Her  _ real  _ name. God how she had needed to hear him say that. Quickly she turned on her heel and gripped onto the much taller man. 

    “Uncle Sammy..” There was a burning at the back of her eyes. She had waited for a moment like this for so long. Sam dropped to his knees so he was slightly closer to his niece's height. How they clung to each other. It was the most peace Azrael had felt since she died. But she had to push back.

“Why are you dying?” 

    Sam’s smile quivered before it dropped. “The trials.. We were going to close the gates of hell. It was the trials.” He held onto her shoulders like if he was to let her go he’d never see her again. “I’m ready for it this time.” His smile returned with a sad twist to it. 

    “No. Sammy you can’t.” 

    “It’s okay Eden. I’ll get to join you and Bobby.” 

    “No. Sammy…  _ you can’t _ .” She furrowed her eyebrows. “What about dad?” How long she had waited to speak of Dean like that out loud. But only her uncle would hear that word. 

    Sam seemed to really think about that part now. “Eden I-” 

    “Sammy, please. If you don’t hold on for him.. Stay for me. Cause I don’t think it really is your time. Besides.. Someone other than Cas needs to keep dad from doing something stupid.” The end of Azra’s lip curled up. “So please.. Stay with him, for me.” Her green eyes looked into her uncle’s. “ _ Please _ , uncle Sammy. Please.” She wrapped her arms around his neck as he pressed her smaller body to his. 

“Stay for me.” She whispered. 


	22. They Can't Know

 

_ “What you leaving Santa milk and cookie’s early this year?” Dean asked Kevin, motioning to the glass of milk that was set in front of the chair across from him.  _

_      “No. Azrael likes milk. Just hoping she’s less pissed if she had a glass. Last thing I need is her breathing down and still pissed off for whatever reason.” Kevin spoke as he looked at his notes about the tablet.  _

_      “You know I can hear you.” Azra raised an eyebrow.  _

_      “Damn it.” Kevin set a hand on his head.  _

_      “Cute Kevin. Very cute.” She smirked at him.  _

_     “I’m not cute.” He grumbled.  _

_     “Sure you’re not.” Azra sat down and crossed her legs. “But thanks for the drink.” She rose the glass to him as Dean went off to do something with Sam. Azra let out a sigh as she set her feet up on the chair next to hers, her elbow on the table.  _

_     “What are you thinking about?” Kevin looked over at her.  _

_     “You and I have quite a bit in common kid.”  _

_     “How is that? You’re death and I’m a profit. Nothing similar in that.”  _

_     “I mean both our lives are screwed up.” She cast a glance to him. “I’m supposed to be four years younger than you. Now I’m about three years older. Or 1,003. Depends on what age you wanna go by.”  _

_     “What?” Kevin asked.  _

_     “Yeah. That screwed up. When I told you I use to be human.. I wasn’t kidding.”  _

 

Azrael pressed the heel of her palm into her eyes. The last conversation she had with Kevin ran through her mind. It was her fault, but some blame went to Death since he had called her away from him. She could have stopped the angel that was possessing Sam. She could have stopped him from killing Kevin. But she was away, and he died. Who was to blame? Her. Death too. 

 

Azrael decided a little relocation might help. So she grabbed onto what few things she had, and appeared in the Men of Letters bunker. She thought that maybe if she set up her own room there it might help. When she got there her head was low. She could only sense that Sam was there. It was probably for the best. 

    “I’m claiming a room. Then taking a shower.” She told, leaving no room for argument. All she got out of Sam was a small nod before she went off to a room she deemed good enough. 

 

Celia was happily lying on Azra’s bed when feathers brushed the air. 

    “Sam uh.. Sam told me you were here.” That gravelly voice. She hadn’t heard it in two years. It was Heaven to her. “Azrael..” Slowly she turned around. Staring at him almost blankly. He was uncertain why she was calm. Azrael could have been yelling at him for all he cared. He deserved it for not trying to contact her. Hell, he would have been less scared if she would have been hitting him. But she wasn’t and that was what terrified him the most. “I’m… Azrael I’m sorry-” 

She stepped to him, grabbing him by the shirt collar and pulling him to her. 

    When Azra finally pulled back they both caught their breath. Her nose still grazed his. “Don’t ever do that again.” She whispered. It set a fire in him. One that he knew all too well when it came to this woman. They kissed again, this time Celia howled. This caused them both to laugh. And they both went to shower. 

…

When Castiel entered the library to find the brothers, Sam raised an eyebrow.

    “Cas.. is.. Is your hair wet?” 

    Castiel paused and lifted a hand to his damp black hair. “Yes. Is that a problem?” 

    “Y… N-no.” Sam furrowed his brows along with his brother. His expression soon became amused. “Wait.. are you.. Did you?” 

    Dean looked down at his little brother, not following. 

    Castiel was confused as well. “What do you mean?” 

    “Whatever.” Dean brushed it off. “Where’s miss priss?” 

    “Can you just grow a pair and call me bitch already? I’d actually prefer that. Besides, I was working, unlike you.” Azra came face to face with Dean. Castiel cocked his head to the side, the way that drove Azrael nuts. 

    Dean pursed his lips and exaggerated the word, “priss.” 

    Azra rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms. “Toddler.” 

    Sam took this moment to lean closer to Cas. “Are you two..?” 

    But Castiel was paying no mind to the younger Winchester brother. He watched the father daughter pair squabble like they use to. “Should we break them up?” 

    Sam looked over before shaking his head. “It never goes on long when they’re like this.” 

    “They’ve done this before?” 

    “Yeah.. Almost since Azrael showed up after Dean got out of purgatory.” 

    “I’m right here you know.” Azra and Dean spoke after hearing their name. 

 

Cas gave a sad smile before looking away. Those two were so alike. She had her mother’s looks but acted almost exactly like her father. 

_ ‘He doesn’t know, does he?’  _ Castiel thought. 

_ ‘No. And it’s gonna stay that way.’  _ Azrael looked up as she answered.

_ ‘Why? He deserves to know.’ _

_ ‘Cas he just can’t. It’s going to make so many things complicated. They just-’ _

 

Dean snapped his fingers. 

    “Hey! Are either of you paying attention?” The two celestials snapped out of their conversations. 

    “Excuse me. I’ll be in my room if you need me.” With that Azrael zapped to her room. 

Cas was right behind her. Leaving the two brothers to blink at what just happened.

    “Az.. Azra. I just need to understand why they haven’t figured it out. They should have-” 

    “Cas. I put up a block in their mind. That’s why. As long as I don’t get too detailed then they won’t know. If I didn’t, then yes they would have probably figured it out by now. They still have memories, just.. Can’t piece them with me.” 

    “Azrael..” Castiel stepped closer as she wrapped her arms around herself. 

    “I just couldn’t.. You know them just as well as I do. They would have tried to find a way to get me out of this. All that’s going to do is get them hurt, or worse. It’s already bad enough that Dean had the mark now.” She let out a breath. “Yeah, I can tell he has it. Besides.. Death wasn’t happy when he learned that you figured it out. He’s be full out pissed if they knew.” She melted into Cas, making herself smaller so she could set her head on his chest. “They can’t know.. They just can’t.” 

 

She couldn’t face them if they knew. It was for their safety that she hid the fact from them. 


	23. Dark Silence

She sat on the floor looking through the papers she had spread around her. Dean gave Azra a glance before his eyes returned to her. He and Alyssa had their research spread over the table of the library. Dean chuckled lightly as he shook his head. Sam had went off to look for a few other things for them to go through. They were hoping to find a way to rid of the mark. Dean had been becoming more aggressive. 

    “You know… you remind me of someone.” 

    “I get that a lot.” Azra spoke. 

    Dean set the paper down. He took in a deep breath. “That was how my daughter did research. Spread everything out on the floor. Drove all of us crazy. Just like you’re doing now.” 

    “Join the club dad.” Azrael whispered. 

    “Hmm?” Dean looked back up. His small question went unanswered. 

    “This research is as impossible as my own research to find the elixir of life, back in the day,” Alyssa soon grumbled to herself, muttering a few things here and there. 

    “What next a trip to hogwarts?” Azra commented as she got onto her knees, trying not to disturb the papers that circled her. 

    “No! Nicolas Flamel actually existed and did many experiments, some involving gold. We don't need to go to hogwarts to know science,” Alyssa mutters, shooting Azra a glare before looking back down at her own papers that were gripped in her hands.

 

That had only caused a laugh come from Azrael as she used the back of a chair to stand up. Alyssa’s sharp look caused her to slowly quit, putting her hands up in defence. 

    “What are you, the half-blood princess?” Dean raised a brow. This caused a snort to come from Azrael. 

   “Then you're Voldemort Dean, then miss Harriet Potter here can kill you in the end fairly to end your reign of terror,” Alyssa teased right back, a smirk appearing on her pale pink lips.

    Azrael burst into laughter as Dean gave them both looks. 

    “Who is killing who?” Cas entered along with Sam with that confused look. 

    “Nobody Cas. We’re just yanking Dean’s chain.” Azra gave Alyssa a quick wink. Castiel looked around, presumably for a chain, as Azrael stepped away from her scattered papers on the floor. “No there is not a chain.” She was leaning in, about to press her smirk to Cas’s lips when her arm started to burn. “Dammit. I gotta go.” She gave a small curl of her lip before she disappeared. 

    “What the hell was that?” Dean raised a brow. 

    “It is custom for a man to ask permission to court a woman.. Is it not?” Castiel asked awkwardly. Sam walked over to his brother and handed him a beer. 

    “Yes Cas, people do that. Not as much anymore though,” Alyssa says with a shrug, her gaze going up to Castiel before she once again busied herself with the research.

   “Would either of you be okay if Azrael and I-” Castiel was interrupted by Dean trying to not spit out his drink. He wiped what had gotten onto his chin as he coughed a little. 

    “What the  _ hell _ ?” 

    “She does not show it, but she looks at you two like family. You actually remind her of her father, Dean.” 

    “But-” Sam started with furrowed brows. 

    “Azrael was human once, actually. She does not like to talk about it.You would be fine with it… Right?” 

    “Umm. Yeah.” Sam spoke awkwardly. 

    “Sure.” Dean added. 

    “It sounds very sweet,” Alyssa chimed in cheerfully.

    “I am happy to hear you all approve.” Cas nodded with a smile. 

 

…

 

It would be several more days before Azrael would come back. But during that time Alyssa stuck around the bunker, finding the one thing Dean hadn’t seen since the night Azrael had brought him back from the dead. 

    Alyssa held the feather necklace up. “Woah, this is a cute necklace. Who's was it?”

    Dean’s face instantly dropped at the sight of it. “W-where did you find that?” He asked softly. 

   “I just found it in the library, when I was looking for a book.” Alyssa studied the necklace in fascination, handling with care: especially after the look Dean gave when she showed him the necklace.

   Sam’s eyes even took on a sad glow. Cas, he gave it a thoughtful look. “That was Eden’s.” Sam swallowed. Dean had looked away. Then the realization came over his face that Eden’s birthday was coming up.  

    “I'm sorry.. but who was Eden?” Alyssa asks, looking up to Sam with her eyebrows knitted together in thought. She recognized the name since Sam finally talked about her death several days after Death was raised.

   “My daughter.” Dean still didn’t look at the neckwear that was weaved through Alyssa’s fingers. He turned his back to her for a second. Then the sound of feathers brushing the air seemed to cause him to relax only slightly. A saved by the bell type of thing. 

   “Oh.” That was all Alyssa could mutter, her eyes going back down to the necklace that dangled between her fingers. 

   “Please tell me you don’t have something stupid planned.” Azrael’s voice was almost condescending. 

    “Only in hopes you’ll join us.” Dean looked up, acting as if they hadn’t just spoken of his dead daughter. 

     “No, I’m not.” There was a strained edge to her voice. Her eyes had more silver to it than normal. Dean’s eye twitched and he seemed to snap in that moment. 

     “Same damn answer you always give. Why the hell do you even bother to show up anymore if you don’t help?” 

     “Dean,” Alyssa warned, looking up to Dean with a glare before looking to Azrael. Her eyes seemed to soften in understanding, but she would never speak of it.

     “I don’t help? I  _ don’t help _ ?” Azra seemed to hit her breaking point as well. She stepped forward. “I’m sorry for your ungrateful ass. Because I have helped you jackasses more times than I can count. Than I could even care to!” Her voice rose. 

    Dean stepped forward. “I call that bullshit.” 

    “It was helping you you son of a bitch, that Death made me kill my father!” She yelled. “It is because of  _ you  _ I have to live with that. And if you haven’t noticed.. I can’t die!” If she wasn't so frustrated she wouldn't have noticed how good it felt to get that off her chest. But she needed someone to blame at that moment, and it happened to be Dean.

 

    Alyssa stepped forward, putting her hands between the two to separate them. “We’re all stressed here about different things, fighting isn't going to solve anything. If you guys start anything, I swear I will have two blue canaries!” She threatened.

   It was that moment Azrael went stock still. Her eyes looked distant as they glowed. Alyssa tilted her head before reaching out for her cousin. 

    “Alyssa no!” Cas called, but was too late. The hand that held Eden’s necklace tapped Azra’s shoulder. Instantly she started shuddering as if in a seizing fit. Cas jumped over and took Alyssa’s hand away when Azrael’s knees bucked. Her body hit the floor hard. Castiel sank to his knees and placed a hand over her forehead. “Shhhhh.” He whispered as he tried to knock her out. Azra fought the entire way, but her eyes were closing. When they closed, no longer fluttering open, she went limp. 

    Alyssa’s face was pale, having set the necklace down on the table as she backed away from the others. Her hands shook, as she looked down at them, as if she had just murdered someone. “I'm always too late, or messing things up,” she mutters.

    Cas slowly lifted her up into his arms. “It was a matter of time.” His voice was low while he adjusted Azrael in his arms. 

    “What.. you mean this wasn’t the first time this happened?” Sam asked. 

    “It happened a few times the days following Death’s punishment..” They all trailed him as he carried Azra to her room. Celia was invisible to the Winchesters, but the two angels could see her just fine. She stuck close to Cas as he laid Azra down. 

    “I'm…” Alyssa cut herself off as she shakes her head, taking a deep breath. “Bye Winchesters. Don't expect me for a while.” With that, Alyssa instantly teleported; the sound of wings fluttering fading away quickly after she left.

The room filled with silence as Cas took the chair from the desk and set it next to Azra’s bed. Slowly, Sam set a hand on Dean’s shoulder before closing the door behind them. Cas was left in the dark silence as he took Azrael’s had in both of his. 


	24. Come Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I will announce this again later... But I thought I'd just mention that there should be 2 more books after this. (Don't worry we aren't that close to being done with this one). All of what I have planned for the last one was once going to be in this one.. and the next will be similar to When We Were Us (Malia's story) A shorter story that is related to everything. Alright, enough of me. Enjoy the chapter!

Somehow over the next couple of days Sam was able to talk Cas to come out of Azrael’s room. As far as the Winchesters knew was that he kept by her side. He even went as far as to lay in the bed with her. But Dean would busy himself with other things. 

 

    “You must really like her.” Sam commented. 

    Cas snapped out of his small trance, finding himself sitting in the library. He was confused for a second before remembering how and why he was there. “Huh? Oh.. yes. I do.” Cas shook his head. “I’m sorry. I should get back to her. My presence often comforts her.” 

    Sam sighed and followed the angel. “Cas she hasn’t shown any sign of waking up.” 

 

Castiel’s hand gripped the knob of Azrael’s door tightly. He was turning to face the younger Winchester when there was a voice from behind the door. 

    “Cas!  _ Cas _ !” 

    Castiel ripped the door open, almost tearing it from it’s hinges. “Azra!” Sam stayed in the doorway with a shocked look as Cas rushed to her side. She tossed in a nightmare state. Sweat lined her forehead. “Azra.” He breathed. The next words he spoke was in a tongue that Sam couldn’t understand. “ _ Eden.. Eden I’m here. It’s okay. Eden, just please wake up.. _ ” It was in enochian. He sat on the bed and shifted her a little. Sam watched as Azrael’s screaming ceased. Her breathing went back to normal as he sat there with her. Even in her unconscious form, Azra seemed to be reaching out for him to be there. 

    “Is she…” 

    “Fine for now. The new question is.. For how long..” Cas sighed. He may not have been human anymore, but it still was hard on him to see Azrael like this. “ _ Everything will be fine Eden _ .” He whispered. Gingerly he moved some of her hair to tuck it behind her ear. Her eyes moved underneath her shut lids. Without a word Sam left them be. He didn’t know if he would be able to help. But Azrael felt his presence leave. 

…

 

Cas swallowed as he rubbed a thumb over her cheek. He bent down and placed his lips to her hairline. 

_ ‘I’ll be back. I promise.’  _

 

With that he left. The abandoned place was dark. Moonlight hardly seeped into it.

    “I was just wondering if you had second thoughts.” Castiel jumped at the voice. He turned around to find the very being he was about to summon. “What? Cat got your tongue?” Death looked down at Cas as he stood and walked forward slightly. “I may be old Castiel, but I am not blind.” He brushed off his sleeve a little. “Azrael has not been answering my calls. Then I find you about to summon me -need I remind you the last time that happened I was to kill you. I just can’t help but see that this is either the start of a bad joke, or this is related.” He looked the angel up and down. “So humor me.” Death leaned in closer to Cas. “Tell me what you have gotten her into now.” Cas held back every foul comment he had for the man. Most lay around that he was not her father, or that it was his fault she was like this too. 

    “You can help her.” 

    “She is no good to me dead Castiel.” 

 

The two appeared in Azra’s room. Death stepped forward, surveying Azrael’s condition. He placed a hand over her forehead. Castiel’s head lifted at his hum. 

    “What is it?” 

    “She is stuck in a vision.” He looked back at Cas. “She didn’t happen to have touched something that was once Eden’s.. Now would she have?” 

    Castiel gulped, thinking to the necklace that Alyssa had held. 

    “Of course.” Death seemed to roll his eyes. “You do realize the negative outcomes that are all lined up if I try and pull her out of this state? 

    “Yes and-” 

    “Castiel. This is not to be taken lightly.” Death’s look was hard. “Are you ready for the consequences?” 

    “I’d do anything. Just… help her, please.” 

    “I wasn’t fully speaking of you. This is assuming that she even allows me to try and pull her out. The state she is in is slowly draining her. If she were human she’d be on the verge of brain dead. You and I both know she has a few unfavorable traits that mimics her father. Azrael fights me, she’s dead. Say she willing comes, she will not be at full power.” 

    “Just-” 

    Death held up a hand. “Let me finish. Azrael wakes up, she is mine. This may be the last time you see of her. Are you really willing to give that up?” Death narrowed his eyes, testing Cas. “You may see her but Azrael does belong to me Castiel.” 

    “If there is anything I will be happy to take it for her. But just.. Just help her  _ please _ .” 

    “Alright.” With that Death placed his hand back onto Azra’s forehead. 

_ Come back Eden _ . Castiel pleaded silently.  _ Please come back.  _


	25. One a.m.

Castiel sat with Azrael in his arms. He held her with a death grip. As if his hold faltered, then she would disappear. Just as Death had promised she would. Any hour that ticked by could be the last time he was able to hold her. But Azrael may not have ever woken up on her own. Maybe she could have.  

 

_Death placed his hand on her forehead. A light glowed from beneath his palm. Azrael ached, gritting her teeth. Then she was launched into a fit. Much like she had when she was younger. Her body shook with force._

_“Death..” Cas’s eyes kept shifting between the two deaths. “Death!”_

 

She had never ceased to surprise him. Both in life and after her death. So currently he lived in the moment. He hummed _Knocking on Heaven’s Door_ since he remembered how much she had loved that and many other classic rock songs.

 

_Her jaw clenched impossibly more. Her body shook so badly that she landed onto the ground by Death’s feet. Castiel launched forward. His chest met with Death’s hand._

_“You’re hurting her.” Cas struggled against the hold of the older being. Death stepped back, pushing Cas with him. Azrael still shuddered on the floor in the seizing fit._

 

Castiel pulled Azra up so her head was tucked under his chin. He rubbed his thumb other her shoulder, being careful to miss the brand. He planned to keep Azra wrapped in his arms until she opened her eyes. Until that last moment he’d get to spend with her. He continued his humming into her hair after he had kissed her head.

 

 _“She is_ fighting _me Castiel. It seems she does have another trait from her father. She believes she deserved to die.” Cas thought back to when he first met Dean. Of the moment he figured out the man didn’t think he deserved to be saved. “Might be a little self loathing and alcoholism in there too. That or it at least hasn’t surfaced yet.”_

 

He squeezed his eyes shut. His back rested on the headboard. Grip tightening he felt no regret. He was at least going to get time left with her.

 

_Castiel saw how serious Death was being. A feeling took over him that he couldn’t quite name. It was almost a sinking feeling. No, it was a sinking feeling. Death seemed content now that his message had gone through. So he set a knee down and continued. The shaking calmed to hard jerks. It still was bad. Her lips parted, showing her gritted teeth. Her cries were small and strangled. Cas looked away, unable to watch anylonger._

 

He listened to the soft sound of her breathing. Of how this all was such a bittersweet peacefulness in the dark.

 

_“Why hasn’t anything changed?” Cas demanded._

_Death took his hand from Azra’s forehead. “Why do you think nothing has changed?” Death was done fooling around. “She is just as stubborn as her father.” Celia was curled up under the bed, watching it all. “Slade, the time.” Death spoke as the reaper stood next to Cas._

 

The steady beat of her heart.

 

_“Five to midnight.” He clutched the pocketwatch in his hand._

_“Come here, Slade.” The reaper hesitantly walked forward. Death looked up at him. There was a silent conversation that went on before Slade nodded. He disappeared seconds after._

 

The tick of the watch she use to wear all the time.

 

_Death set his hand back onto her forehead. Moments ticked by. It felt like hours before something happened again. Slade was thrown against the wall from out of nowhere. Death was pushed back. Even Cas was knocked down. Azrael started growling._

_“Eden!” Castiel called. She stilled in that moment. “Eden..” His voice had dropped._

 

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

 

     _Death looked over, taking hold of Castiel’s shoulder. He pulled him forward. Both their hands were set onto Azrael’s forehead. “If she does not listen to us. Maybe she’ll listen to you.”_

 

Tick. Tick. Tic-. The watch had taken over the sounds of the room. But Cas drowned it out. Azrael moved slightly. He started to hum again.

 

_However much time passed, it was cut short. The moment Cas’s hand lifted from Azra’s head he was shoved back. Death clutched onto the nightstand bringing his breathing under control._

_“Slade. Don’t you have work to do?” The reaper looked at the two with wide eyes. “_ Slade _.” He snapped out of it. The look in his eye. He didn’t want to leave. “Slade.” But with that, he had no other choice._

 

_Death stood, brushing off his hands. Azra was now still on the floor._

_“What… Shouldn’t she be awake?” Cas asked._

_“Castiel. I am_ Death _, not a miracle worker. She makes it through the rest of the night there is still a chance she may wake up. If not then she didn’t survive the night.”_

_“So you’re just going to leave her?”_

_“What else can I do? You saw what happened when I tried to bring her up. She fought me Castiel. There is nothing left for me. I have better things to do than babysit.” Death brushed past Cas. He stopped at the door. “Oh, and Castiel. You do remember our agreement?”_

_Cas lowered his head._

_Taking that as his answer Death continued. “Then you should start your goodbyes. Lord knows how much longer you have.”_

 

    “We’re halfway there..” Cas whispered.

 

_He dropped to his knees._

 

“Living on a prayer..” He set his head on the top of hers.

 

_Gingerly he pulled her to his arms. Brushing some hair from her face._

_“We’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got..” He hummed._

 

    “Take my hand and we’ll make it I swear, livin’ on a prayer..”

 

Tick. Tick. _Tick_.

And the clock went silent. It stopped at 1 a.m.

 

Castiel felt numb while the dark room was swallowed in silence. He knew deep down, his time was up.

 

    “Cas.” Azrael breathed. She shifted, but her eyes never opened.

 


	26. The Weight that is Carried

Her eyes fluttered open. They were green for a few seconds. It tricked Castiel for a moment that everything was just a figure of his imagination. That he had Eden back. 

 

So the next moment was just a slap to his face. The silver swirled in and the blue replaced the green. It caused his heart to sink as she shifted in his arms. 

    That smile. It was  _ her  _ smile. “Hey Cas.” She whispered sleepily. He just looked down at her, still in his arms. Celia jumped up onto the bed, causing her to laugh. The sweet sound stopped as her eyes shifted back to him. “Cas? Is everything okay?” Azrael made a move to back away from him, but Castiel’s arms only tightened around her. “Cas.” 

    His eyes watered as he held her against him. That sound. That beautiful sound of her voice. At one point he was unsure if he’d ever hear it again. Listen to her laugh, or see her smile. 

    “Cas.” 

     God the way she said his name. He was able to hold her again while she was awake. It made everything worth it in the end. Of all the uncertainty of the future. 

    “ _ Castiel _ .” She lulled. Azra laughed. “Have you been holding me like this all night?” He was shocked for a moment, finding she might not remember anything. When she still didn’t get an answer she moved her head back as far as Cas allowed. “Hey.” She moved a hand to his cheek. “I’m right here. Everything’s okay. Alright?” She brushed away what little wetness had streaked down his face. Azra put her arms around his neck and held onto him like he still was her. “Everythings okay for now.” 

    “Yeah.” Cas breathed. “Yeah.” 

 

…

 

    “It feels like I haven’t eaten in a week.” Azrael mumbled between bites of her breakfast. Cas gave her a weak smile. She had been out for weeks. “Where are the brothers?” She questioned as she stopped long enough to take a drink. 

    “I don’t know. Something came up with Metatron. They might be out looking for him. That reminds me. I… I need to get going..” Here came the moment he dreaded. The goodbye. He hoped she hated him for this, just so she wouldn't wait.

    Azra stood and walked over to him. “Alright.. Just, try and be safe.” 

    “I will.” Cas whispered. He pulled her into him and his lips connected to hers. 

    Azra broke off the long, passion filled kiss. “Whoa. Cas you act as if you’re never gonna see me again.” She chuckled a little bit. She didn’t see the glint in Castiel’s eye. She leaned in and kissed him again. “Now go be a hero.” Her breath hit his lips before she pulled all the way back. 

 

It was hard for Cas to look away from her. Since this would be the last time for him to see her. As far as he knew, it should have. Especially if the deal would play out. But knowing the horsemen, it should. With a gulp he looked back at her before he left to meet up with Gadreel. 

 

The moment he was gone her smile dropped. Azrael sank to her knees as she started trembling. She wrapped an arm around her leg as she held her head in the other. Her back pressed against the leg of the table. All she kept seeing were all the deaths she had watched over and over while she was out. There was one she was able to stop. That had sent her in a false reality. It was much happier than the real world had been in years. But now that she was out she had to face each she had seen. 

 

Azrael didn’t know how much longer she could stay with the Winchesters. To have to watch Dean each day.. Waiting for whenever he does die. It was getting to her, slowly eating her alive. She just didn’t know how much more of it she could take. 

 

The front door shut. Someone quickly walked down the stairs. Azra knew it was Sam instantly. She was on her feet, lifting her wall back into place as she rushed to find him. 

    “Sam! Anything wrong?” 

    “Azra.. you’re.. Awake..” He seemed shocked. She knew why. 

    “Yeah. Now answer the question.” 

    “Cas.. is Cas here? Or Dean by any chance?” 

    “You just missed Cas. I think Dean’s been gone for a while.” 

    “Alright.” He ran a hand over his face. “You coming with?” 

    Azra gulped. She knew what this was leading to. And she wanted no part in it. “No.” Her voice was hardly above a whisper. She already knew it was too late. “I.. I uh.. Just woke up.. Not up to full strength yet. I’d be useless.” It took every molecule within her not to shake. Just like it took every bit of her concentration to keep her voice level. She bit her lip so it wouldn’t quiver. Forced down the tears. She lifted her cool fingers to her face. “You know what? I… I uh think I should be getting back… back to bed..” Sam furrowed his eyebrows, almost forgetting everything as Azrael tried to walk past him.she couldn't take much more of this. Her knees buckled and he caught her. “I’m good.. I’m good.” Azrael steadied herself. She didn’t look Sam in the eye again. 

    “No you’re not.” Sam argued. 

    “Just.. Go find Dean. Okay? I can make it to my room..” Stubbornly Azra pulled from Sam’s grip and started to her room. “I’ll make it. Now go.” With that Sam ran back up the stairs. Azra clenched her jaw as she still tried to force her emotions down. 

 

Once she got into her room she sat on the edge of her bed. She held her head in her hands. The bible she had lay near her. She bit her tongue as she felt Alyssa appear. Her cousin stood in the open doorway. 

    “You should've went with Sam, Azrael. You really should've.” Her eyes showed signs of sorrow about something, standing there with a men’s suit jacket on.

    “I can’t Al.. I just couldn’t. It’s not a good idea.” Azra kept a hand over her face. Her voice was almost strained as she still tried to keep it together. “I’m tired Al.” 

   “Azrael, I know that you are tired. Even if it isn't a good idea, sometimes it's good to do the worst idea,” Alyssa lets out a sigh, taking a pause. She leaned against the door, looking down at her hands. “Our uncles would want us to do that, for the best of others. Sammy needed ya, something that I can't give him  _ but you can. _ ”

   “No. Alyssa. You don’t get it.” Azra sighed. Her anger was growing. “You haven’t had to sit through all this time and wait for your father to die! I was the one who caused it damn it. And I was the one who had to live near him and watch him go about his day with no clue that his time was running out.” 

   “Azrael, I bet he will be fine. Death does miraculous things to people, hell I bet everyone is happier in death. ‘Cause then everyone would have their own happy worlds again, even if they're sick and cruel, everyone has dreams.” Alyssa straightened the men’s coat, standing up to look at her cousin. “You need to believe me when I say that. I won't ever lie or sugar coat things for you.”

   “Alyssa. I have to  _ live  _ with that consequence when I could have avoided it. I can’t die. And his life has already ended. You will never know how that feels. About the weight that is carried. So quit trying to act like you do.” With a huff she set her head back on her hand. 

   “You don't understand much but what you believe and are shown, Azrael. But there will come a time you will believe me, and I will be here for you. I have centuries, like you, to live. I have deaths to cause and deaths to face. Don't you see, we are similar? Don't you see that you need to look past the book and read in between the lines?” Alyssa put her hands in her pockets. “I'm no preacher, I know. You don't know me well, I know. But you know what you should know? We're family. Family means no one is left behind. You leave me behind, then you pay those consequences.”

   Azra kept her elbows resting on her knees as she took in a breath. She no longer faced her cousin. “But I have more.” She spoke about many things, and the very subject it covered caused a chilled silence to drape over the room. If only Alyssa could see the tears she was holding back. Azra just wasn’t able to hold it all in for much longer. “Just.. just go.” Her voice was soft as she hung her head. “Please.. Go.” 

   “You're just like Dean.” The sound of wings flying away filled the air announced Alyssa’s departure.

   “I am.” Azra whispered as her shoulders heaved in the silent cries that escaped her lips. She broke in the darkness of her room. But she wasn’t left in her room for much longer. 

 

Azrael felt the shift. She opened her blurry eyes to find a dark dimension around her, almost like the one she had first met Death in. The darkness became a light gray as if the place was becoming a new world within itself. Then, she heard the voice. The call that almost brought her to her knees. 

    “Eden.” 

  
  



	27. Broken Ties

    “Eden.” The voice called out through the area. The place was lightening up. Solid ground lay beneath Azra’s feet. “Eden.” The voice came again. Her shoulders sharted shaking with her small sobs as her eyes looked up. Just the sound tore at her soul. “Eden, baby girl.” 

    “Mom.” Azra closed her eyes as she bowed her head. “Mom.” her lips peeled back on one side as she clenched her jaw, muffling her cry. She hadn’t heard her mother’s voice in so long. 

    A warm hand set under Azrael’s jaw, gently lifting it. She opened her eyes to be met with that striking blue. “Hey there baby girl.” 

 

Malia Van Hallen, also known as the angel Mariel, stood in front of her daughter with a warm smile. Azrael looked down at her mother as she brought her head up more. Her eyes were wide at the shorter woman in front of her. Soon she engulfed her mother in a hung. 

    “Mom.” Azra breathed, clenching her jaw. She gripped onto the fabric of her mother’s shirt. 

    “Mariel.” A new voice called out. Azra opened her eyes and looked to the man her mother had her back to. He was tall with broad shoulders. His hair a dark grey color. His eyes were an earthy blueish brown. She knew in that moment, it was her uncle. 

…

 

Azrael spent much needed time with her mother and uncle Andre, Alyssa’s father. Even though she loved being with them she knew it wouldn’t last. Like she predicted, her arm eventually started to burn. 

 

But when she appeared in front of Death, the burn did not fade like it normally did. The look in the horsemen’s eyes spelled it all out. Azrael was his. There was nothing to change that. 

    “Azrael.” He lifted his head, looking down at her, though there wasn’t that much of a height difference. “Are you done?” His question was to the borderline rebellion she had been pulling since she first met with the Winchesters again. Her heart sank at the memory of this day. The very day Death took her to all those years ago to kill her father. By now, Dean was most certainly dead. 

 

Azrael’s head was still down, but her eyes rose to his. She really didn’t have much left. Of course there was always Sam, but she didn’t want to hurt him. Cas stopped answering her calls. Both on the phone and prayer. Alyssa.. Azra already ruined that relationship. She hand no more ties. She distanced herself from them to make this part easier on everyone. 

 

Azra raised her head only to turn it away. She was ashamed and had every damn right to be. She killed her father and god knew, ruined every other relationship she had left. But that fear that she held down. It was raw and it was wild. That fear was there for Cas. She was scared of whatever idiot thing he had done. One of two deaths she had seen while she was out that terrified her the most, was his. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Azra probably would have died. She believed she would have pulled herself out eventually. Most likely to save Cas’s ass once again. But whatever deal Castiel made with Death had brought her back much earlier. His consequence was uncertain, but obviously he was avoiding her on purpose or that was part of the deal. Azra didn’t know and really didn’t care. 

 

The one clear thing at the moment was that she had no way out. No more fighting. No chances. That little spark of fire she had always had was being stomped out. Death was happy to find that flame in Azrael’s eyes start to flicker as it dwindled. She was finally his with no fuss about it. There would be no more childish tantrums on her part. They could finally get back to the job they were meant for. Azra would probably let go of that silly wish to be human again. 

 

But he remained quiet as she bowed her head. Those silver blue eyes seemed a little more gray than normal. Finally it looked as if he had her beat. 

 

    A smile curled the end of Death’s pale lips as Azra’s response came. Her voice was low and cracked. “Yes.” 


	28. Another thing Coming

Azrael sat at the top of some concrete steps. She was invisible to the people who rushed out of the courthouse with the man who just died, thinking they could save him. Of course Slade had already took the mean bastard downstairs. 

    “Hey.” Slade looked down at her.

   She made no move to pay attention. The right shoulder of her hooded coat had a rip on it that looked like it was meant to be there. It sure as hell was too. Any shirt she wore now any day had a slit on one or both shoulders. To put on display to the world the brand at the edge of Azrael’s shoulder. There was still nothing from Cas, and maybe it was probably better that way. Nothing, no amount of makeup, not even her hair, could hide the bruise on her cheek. Thus why she didn’t even bother to leave her shorter blond hair down anymore. The end of her ponytail always brushed the back of her neck. 

    “ _ Eden _ .” 

   The use of her name caused Azra to snap out of her work induced trance. Her blueish silver-gray eyes came into focus. 

    Slade carefully looked around him. After letting out a breath he dropped onto the first step to become more level with the angel near him. “It’s about time you know. I can’t watch you go through this anymore.” 

   Azra furrowed her eyebrows. “What do you mean-” 

   “Just.. Just set your hand on my forehead.” Slade looked so sure. His suit had been traded in for a leather jacket. 

So, hesitantly Azra did so. And she found one thing she had never thought she would. Her father was alive. He had been a demon, but he was alive nonetheless. 

    Pulling back she gasped. 

    “I wiped his memory of when you killed him. So only a few know… I remembered that you put the block in his and Sam’s mind. The wall would have cracked if he would have kept that memory. So.. your welcome.” Slade gave it a second. “It's been months Azrael. The hell you still waiting here for?” 

 

Now waiting a second longer, Azra appeared wherever her father was. Her coat was done away with, now she only had her green canvas jacket. A white tank top lay under it. Her outreached hand had a hold of a knife that had been thrown at a much shorter red headed woman. 

    “Whoa.” She muttered with wide eyes. Azra spun the blade in her hand before shaking off her jacket. She liked it too much to have it ruined in a petty fight. The cross around her neck caught the lighting of the room as she stared down men from the Stein family. 

    “Hold this.” She handed it to the redhead. 

    “Okay.” She breathed from the floor. 

 

Azrael prowled forward. Jacob’s next move was already predicted, but she allowed him the one slight hope he could have had to kill her. It was one of the cruelest things she could have done. Since she obliterated whatever hope had been. The blade was lodged in her left shoulder. Probably should have hit her heart, but it didn’t sink that low. Easily Azrael pulled it out. 

    “It takes a little more than a toothpick to kill me.” Azra growled. “Trust me, I’ve tried.” There was a clatter as the blade hit the floor. “But if you want to see something that works. Then come a little closer.” She pulled her own. The thing was humming it’s own death song. Before Jacob Stein could even blink, death stood behind him. And she had him held there with her blade, jutting out from the front of his chest. 

 

More men came it. Azra flipped a table and kicked it at them. Knocking each down effortlessly. She put her blade away and settled with just smiting them. Her blade had enough death for the night. She took in deep breaths the moment it was all finished. 

    “It’s been a few months..” Sam muttered. But Azra still had her back to them. His eyes narrowed at the sight of the tattoo-seeming marking on the edge of her shoulder. Until they noticed the scars that it lay on top of. But that happened to be when one more person joined them. Azrael looked up at his presence. Blood rolled down the side of her face from her temple, but it didn’t happen to be her own blood. She took in his appearance, finding he was wearing a tie like he use to. 

    “Azrael…” He started as she strode over to him. Out of pure habit she was hiding her emotions. She didn’t mean to. “Azra I’m-” but that was all he got out before her fingers twisted around the not of his tie. She pressed her lips to his after pulling him forward. 

    “Whoa..” Dean muttered, surprised. 

    “Oh..” The woman whispered. She had sounded disappointed. 

 

Finally Azra pulled back, but not far. Their noses still brushed each other. 

    “Do yourself a favor and shut up.” She mumbled, happy to finally see him again. 

    “Okay.” Castiel spoke before they met halfway. 

…

 

    “You’re cheek..” Castiel reached out. Azra lifted a hand to meet his so it wouldn’t hit the bruise. 

    “It’s nothing.” 

    “So why’d you leave? All those months ago I mean.” Sam asked. 

    Azra sighed. “Well.. he was dead. I had no clue for you. And dipshit here wasn’t answering my calls. That's just putting it nicely.” 

   “No one told you-” Dean started. 

   “I’m death you idiot.” She was going to snap something else but stopped herself. It seemed to really hit her then that Dean actually was alive. And it caused something to click. Shaking her head she pushed the thought back in for later. “Plus I still have a job you know. Heaven on lockdown or not. People still die. Well the attic isn’t very locked anymore.” With her tanktop both crows were visible. Azra stood as the one on her bicep started burning. It almost seemed to be glowing. Everyone’s eyes shifted to it. 

    “Is he calling?” Cas asked. Azra was able to see the fear in his eyes that he hardly held back. It was for her, and whatever deal he made with Death. The deal that probably cost his life. But it wouldn’t. Not while she was still breathing. 

    She started headed to her room “I guess he can deal with voicemail. That bastard has another thing coming.” Azra muttered, wanting to leaf through the bible that still lay on her bed.


	29. Broken Crown

Just like the last time she ran from him, she was eventually caught. What he did was not pretty. He was tired of Azra’s disobedience. But she wouldn’t stop. No, there was nothing worse that Death could do to her. She would fight him, even if she was not at full power. Death was surprised to find her still resisting even when she was becoming weaker than she had been. Another one of those blasted traits she received from her father.

 

    “Knock it off Azrael.” Death growled. She was on her knees, her own blood dotted all over her face. He had a firm grip on the back of her neck. This wasn’t the first beating Azra had received. She guessed it wasn’t the last either. If only she knew she was wrong.

    Azrael’s response was spitting blood onto his shoe.

    She flinched as he tightened his grip on her, about to deal another blow. Suddenly he stopped. “I guess you do get your stupidity from your father too. He is summoning me.” He leaned down, getting into her face. “Come along Azrael. I’d like you to watch this.”

 

When they appeared at the abandoned bar, Azra clutched onto the counter so she stayed upright. Dean tensed when he first saw her. Az blinked at him, knowing he was much different. Aggressive and desperate. Two things that made him all the more dangerous. She looked away while he and Death talked. She clenched her jaw as Death spoke of what Dean needed to do. Kill Sam so he could be moved to where he could never hurt anyone ever again. It was all because the mark of Cain. And Dean agreed. It broke Azra’s heart.

    “You’re really willing to undo everything you’ve done?” Death shot her a glare as she pushed herself to stand up a little more straight. “You’ve sold your soul for him. Did everything to protect him. Hell you stopped him from killing himself doing the trails. Let and angel posses him because you wanted him to live-” She had so much more to say.

    “Azrael that is enough.” Death snapped. Death took a hold of her as Sam picked up. Dean spoke to his little brother, telling him where he was.

 

    “The hell it is. You pulled him out of a _fire_ . You’ve _died_ to keep him safe and you would do it all again. In a heartbeat.” If there was anything else Azrael was going to say, she wasn’t able to as Death knocked her with his cane. She was even thrown into the bar several times. By the end there was a cut on her lip and her temple.

    “I have to.” Dean muttered. “I can’t hurt anyone else.”

    A dry laugh escaped Azrael’s bloodied lips. “Eden would be disappointed. Ashamed of what you’re doing.” Azra hissed with her head against the bar as she sat. Her next words weren’t audible. “Because I sure as hell am.”

    Dean stepped forward, anger rising. “Don’t you _dare_ talk about her!” He snapped. “You have no right.”

    Azra pulled herself to her feet. Death was in front of her instantly. “Knock it off Azrael.”

 

That was when Sam came in the door. Azra looked away as the two brothers fought. The taste of blood filled her mouth as she bit her tongue.

    “Sammy close your eyes.” Dean spoke. It crushed her. She knew he held Death’s scythe.

    “Wait.. one thing.” Azra looked over as Sam set three pictures down onto the floor. It was of them when they were younger with their mother. But the last one, was of her. It was from the day before she died. Her dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail. That cheeky grin of hers as she sat on the window sill, looking over her shoulder with those green eyes.

    “No.. _No_.” Azra gritted her teeth.

    “ _Azrael_ .” Death warned. But she didn’t care anymore. She took the swing, and she hit him _hard_. Death was knocked back.

    “I’m done with this. And I know exactly why you’ve been making sure I’m not at full power." She had walked up to him and lifted him up by his tie. “It’s because you’re scared.” Her fist connected with Death’s face. “It’s because you know,” another blow. “That I can overpower you.” Another. “That I am stronger.” And another. “But I am no death. Since I never listen.”

 

Then, she was launched across the room. Her body hitting the wall and crashing into a shelf and tables on the way down.

    “And I have kept you alive for much longer than I should have.” Azra tried to push herself up. Death had a hold of her before she could. The look in his eyes held more fire than they have had in a long while. Azra was in more pain, since she couldn’t hold herself up on her own anymore.

    “I will _never_ take your broken crown.” She spat.

    “I should have done this a long time ago.” Death’s hand pressed over Azrael’s face. A light came from his palm as Azra cried out in pain.

 

It all stopped out of nowhere. The tip of Death’s scythe was mere inches from Azrael’s nose as it jutted out from Death himself. His hand fell from her face. Within moments he disintegrated into ash. From there Azrael collapsed. Her eyes shut tightly as a new wave of pain hit her and she hissed. Her cries of pain escaped her gritted teeth.

    “Azra? Azra!” The brothers called.

Sam looked up at his older brother with the angel in his arms. There was no real possible way to explain the events that had just unfolded in front of them. Little did they know that there were several reapers in the room. One being Slade. They had a small influence on Dean killing Death. It was true to say that the Reapers were more for Azrael than they had been Death. Another thing the old horsemen had been scared of. The next moment the brother’s knew, there was a red light that removed the mark from Dean’s arm. Through her pain Azra knew what had happened, she was able to sense so many things. Yet again, another wave of pain crashed in.

    “We need to get her out of here.” Sam picked her up, finding how unbelievably light she was.

    “And do what? Take her to a hospital for angels?”

    “We’ll try to get a hold of Cas, then.”

 

The fresh air hit Azra as they walked quickly toward the Impala. She felt the ground shift beneath them as she was starting to fade. Thunder rumbled above them, announcing the being with great power that had been released. Azra didn’t know if she was happy for the darkness, finally she wasn’t in as much pain.

 

Azrael went still in Sam’s arms.


	30. Part III

 

**_[Part III]_ **

 

_ I’d fight for you.  _

_ You’d live for me.  _

_ I’d be nothing,  _

_ If you hadn’t been beside me.  _

 

_ The last rose to bud _

_ is both beautiful,  _

_ and has the sharpest thorns.  _

_ Without you I was just death _

_ without me you still have breath _

 

_ You are home _

_ But there will come a time _

_ when you’ll let me go _

 

_ Please know, _

_ I have found peace _


	31. Like a Dream

She could feel the current of the cloud around her. It brushed past her wings, but she saw nothing. 

    “Mariel?” The voice echoed in her head  as she sank to her knees. It almost sounded distant to the point it couldn’t have been real. Azra’s hand hit the dirt, trying to keep herself from collapsing. The attempt failed miserably. She was too weak from the beating that Death had given. “It’s alright…” 

 

Gently a hand lay on her arm as she hit the ground. It all faded quickly almost like a dream.

…

 

Her lungs filled with fresh air as she came to. The texture of the grass that she felt around her let her know she was in a field. With the small swish of the tall grasses in the light wind. There were birds chirping. Warmth from the sun heated the side of Azrael’s face. Her hair was fanned out behind her as she rolled to her back from her side. 

 

Slowly her eyes fluttered open. And she saw nothing. 

 

Azra blinked hard as she sat up. Rubbed her eyes before running her fingers through her tangled hair. The world was dark. In that moment Azra wanted to scream. The one thing she didn’t have when she died was gone once more. Then she paused. She was in a peaceful field, and for the first time since she had that blasted mark on her arm, it didn’t burn. Her fingers tentatively traced the brand that Death had given her what was centuries ago. The pads of her fingers ran over the three scars from the night she died. Her memory was coming back.

 

Death the horsemen, had met his end. Through everything she felt at the moment, joy bubbled over it. Because she was  _ free _ . Dean had given her the freedom she had longed for since the night she died. Death was no longer Azrael’s master. 

Though he was the one to give her back her sight, he was also the one who took it away. 

 

Azrael couldn’t care less that she was blind now. She was blind  _ and  _ free. She prayed that this wasn’t a dream. 

 

Her hand moved around, and brushed along the fabric of her coat. The brightness of the sun was intensifying, causing a burning in her eyes. With a sigh Azrael ripped the edge of the hood. She never wanted to wear the damned thing again.

 

So carefully she tooked the ripped blue cloth. She gently moved her hair out of the way as she tied it around her eyes. Slowly Azrael rose to her feet. The ends of the cloth brushed the back of her neck while she tied back some of her hair. The intensity of the sun no longer bothered her. Now it was time. So her head moved about as she appeared in the building she hadn’t seen in years. How she saw the interior with how it use to be, how it still must have looked. Her hand met the wood of a pew to keep herself standing. It broke her heart on how she must not be able to see it now. Her chin lifted as she turned to the man who had come up to her. She knew he was their. She could tell his footsteps from a complete stranger. 

 

    “TS?” The nickname forced the breath from her lungs as she smiled. 

    “Able.” She breathed. Azra tried to take a step to him only for it to falter. 

    “Hold on.” His steady hands helped her straighten back up. “You look so much like your mother.” Azrael could hear the smile in his voice. She only wished she could see it. “Come this way Azrael.” That knowing voice. Almost nothing could fool this man. Only Azra would know since she tried to pull so many things while in father Abel’s care. 

 

The older man led the angel through the halls. Just the slightest echo gave her a mind’s image of the hall. The one she use to run up and down along with the other kids. Where she had only once imagined that she had Castiel running beside her after afternoon service. 

How the chimes or the old organ’s sound echoed. On a quiet night how she could hear all kinds of practices far past her bedtime. Or on one of those rare occasions that someone would play the beat up piano before they left. Of how Abel held her hand and carried her one bag when a family had taken her in. Both times. 

 

How warm that embrace was when the people brought her back the first time. The whisper of that she would always be loved in this house. That God and his angels would always watch her no matter what. If only Able knew exactly how true that was. 

 

Finally her hand met the doorframe. Her palm brushed over the finish of the wall. In her mind she clearly saw the small room for how it had been, and what it must be now. Once hardly filled, currently abandoned and dust ridden. 

 

Her head moved around. Azrael’s eyes were still covered. But she saw how her life once had been, comparing it to what it was now. If it could even still be called life. It was so surreal. How each little part played out in her mind though she could not see anymore. It all had the qualities of a dream. She hoped it wasn’t. 


	32. Little bit of Heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. So the crossover book that will be on Wattpad, we have decided to call it Hell's Melody and we are planning to start posting it soon. In that story it will show you Alyssa's end of everything. Azrael appears and Eden is mentioned along with a few of my other SPN books (namely The Queen) 
> 
> There are some parts in her story that do NOT appear in mine, and same goes the other way around. Scenes that happen in both books are in two different perspectives. Such as in mine it is third person (following Azrael mostly) and hers is in first, so you have two different views for the same scene. So go check out my good friend (and Co author for HM) on Wattpad, @Exploding_Tardis! I will keep ya'll updated for when she first starts posting it. Alright, onto the chapter!

Azra was able to heal within the church. Not as much as she would have liked, but enough that she could slowly get back to work. Mostly it was a few deaths by her here and there. She still hated that part. But not all reapers were on her side. There were the few stragglers that needed to be reminded, Azrael was the new death. The only death. Some called her by that very name. It only caused chills to run up her spine. 

 

With that mess taken care of she built up how she saw their work should be done. Azra was not like the horsemen. She, like her father, believed that what was dead, should stay dead. She now used a staff to help walk a little when she was first healing. Not that she could walk on her own, it was only with her as a weapon most of the time. She never wanted a reason to use that blasted blade again. But it was still hungry for death. It still craved it. 

 

Able let her stay for as long as she needed. Some days she’d even sit in on a sermon. Sending up prayers to her grandfather. It was refreshing to be at one of Able’s services. Much like it had been when she was a kid. 

 

She happened to be sitting in on one, praying that all those she cared about were alright. That Cas was fine. Azra waited till after to call him. His phone went to voicemail. 

    “Okay. Just checking up Cas. I’m at The First Round Prairie in Nebraska. If you can come…” She sighed. “Just get your ass over here sometime, please.” Azra shook her head with a small smile. Of course he was fine. 

 

Azrael sat down that night in her room. The place she was at wasn’t in Nebraska, but there was a note left that had her address. It had once been abandoned in the middle of nowhere. Now it was fixed up and in use. 

 

Celia was laying by Azra’s feet so she knew exactly where the hound was. Az untied the cloth from her eyes like she did every night. She stopped sleeping since she was blinded. So some nights she would lay in bed for a while with her useless eyes closed, before she visited her mother and uncle Andrealphus. She knew that one of these days she would take Alyssa to their world. It was like a little pocket in Heaven tucked away for the angels themselves. A place they can rest for eternity after their service. The coin yellow eyes had given her was turned into one that could get someone who wasn’t able to enter the realm access. It also gave them a way out. As far as Azrael knew, she was the only one who could really bring anyone in and out. The coin just allowed it’s holder to do such without her. Alyssa would most definitely end up with it one of these days. 

 

Azra was about to lay back when the feathers brushed the air. Her head turned to him as she smiled in the lamp glow. Some nights she accidentally forgot to shut it off and almost burned her hand in the morning to turn it on. 

    “Cas.” She smiled as she listened to his footsteps come closer. The joy bubbled within her while she tilted her head up. 

    “Eden… Azrael.” The way either name came from his tongue drove her crazy. She knew in this moment that she had really needed this. He clung onto her tighter. “They said you were gone…” His breath hit the back of her neck. The joy and sadness was hard to miss.

    “It’s so good to hear your voice.” She wrapped her arms around him. “I just wish I could see you too.” Castiel gently took her face in his hands and stared into her bright blue eyes. They were the same shade of blue they use to get when she was blinded from using her powers. 

    “Azrael…” He whispered. 

 

He let out a sad breath before taking Azra into his arms. She managed to get the trenchcoat and suit jacket off. 

    “Why don’t you stay a while?” She smirked in his direction. Cas hovered over her and guided her head so she was looking up at him. 

    “As long as I believe I am able, you have me.” 

    “Good.” Azrael propped herself onto her elbows, and with Cas’s guidance, closed the distance between them. “I’ve been to hell and back again so many times… I think I could use a little bit of heaven..” The cheeky grin she gave drove Cas over the edge even though it was inches from his own lips. He pressed them against that mischievous smirk as she started working on his shirt buttons. 


	33. Livin' on a Prayer

Azrael’s eyes fluttered open. The world was still dark as it always had. But she had slept, and it felt damn great. She shifted, her head soon resting on Cas’s bare chest. Her arms wrapped around him. She had needed a moment like that for a long time. She just didn’t want to let go of it. Who knew how much time they had left? It killed her just thinking about it. 

 

So she wrapped her arms around him as he rubbed her back. Azra held him tight. In this moment she found it impossible to even think of letting him go. It was unfathomable. Cas pulled her up a bit more so she now rested her temple on the dip between his neck and shoulder. 

    “Promise me something…” She whispered. She had so much to say. 

    “Anything,” he breathed. Azra nuzzled into the crook of his neck even further. “What is it?” Cas shifted his head so he could attempt to look down at her. 

    Her eyes were closed tightly. She was trying to picture him in her mind. How his eyebrows would be knitted together as he watched her. Those amazing blue eyes looking down at her. But the picture she had of him was fading. Her lashes became wet at the thought. She could hardly remember the last time she saw him. “Nothing..” She hid her face in his neck. 

   “Hey.” The sound vibrated in his chest, comforting Azrael. Right along with the sound of his heart. She tightened her grip even more. “It’s okay.” His hand stilled on her back before he wrapped his arms around her. “It’s okay.” He lulled into her hair. Castiel hadn’t even bothered to tell her about the darkness, since he knew she’d find out when she first put her arms around him the night prior. “I’m here whenever you need me.” 

   “Little bit of Heaven.” He hummed into her hair as the sound of her voice bounced off his bear skin. “I just wish we could stay this way forever.” 

    “You and I both.” 

 

Azrael gave a soft laugh at that. 

    “I guess we do..” 

 

But their moment was interrupted by Cas’s phone vibrating. Both their heads snapped up at the sound. Azra shifted from her position of half laying on Cas. 

    “Dammit.. I’m sorry.” He spoke. 

    She sat up, pulling on a shirt. “No it’s fine. I need to check in with Slade here soon anyway. There's this one reaper, she’s great.. But a slight pain in the ass. I love her, but I hate her.. If that makes sense.” There was a chuckle from Cas as she felt his weight shift. His legs hung over the edge of the bed. “What?” When he didn’t answer she grabbed a pillow and hit him with it. “What! Jerk.” 

    “It’s just been a while since you’ve worn one of my shirts.” She could tell by the way the bed had shifted that he was mostly looking at her from over his shoulder. 

    “Oh.” Azra felt her face heat up. She wrapped her arms around herself, as if showing she wasn’t about to give it up. This caused Castiel to laugh again. 

    “Guess I have to find a new one.” She could hear the smile in his voice. It caused her own lips to curl up too. 

    “Good since you really didn’t have a choice.” Azra giggled before a new outfit for the day was thrown at her. Mostly pants. She gave a small shriek when the clothing hit her and she fell back onto the bed. But moments later her head was thrown back in laughter. “I’m wearing it all day.” She announced. 

    “Comforting.” Her laugh echoed through the room. Soon Cas was chuckling along too. He loved to hear that sound and couldn't help but join in as Azra was trying to find her breath. Castiel was pulling a new shirt on, leaving it unbuttoned as he lay on his side across the bed. He smiled as Azra as she did the same with him. She ran her fingers through his hair, knowing all too well it was sticking up in places it shouldn’t be. Out of habit he started humming  _ Living on a Prayer _ . Not even a second after he started Azrael rolled to her back and was trying to sing along through her laughter. The had to stop before they got halfway. 

    Azra sighed in content. “I don’t know why.. But I can almost remember mom’s voice singing that to me when I was real little. Even when I got older and woke from a nightmare… I could hear her in the back of my head singing it. Hell that was my lullaby. How she got me to sleep since I was a day old.” Castiel set an arm under her as he pulled her closer. 

 

Azra lay her head on his shoulder once more. On hand absentmindedly playing with one of his shirt buttons. She listened to the steady beat of his heart for a few silent moments. Felt how his chest rose and fell with each breath. She was engraving this moment to memory. Weather she could see or not. It was beautiful. It made her appreciate everything more. But right now, this moment was hers. 

 

_ We’ve got each other, and that’s a lot for love… We’ll give it a shot. _

_ We’re halfway there, livin’ on a prayer.. _


	34. Let him Wonder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hell's Melody has been published! It is updated every Wednesday, go and check it out! you can find it on wattpad, written by @Exsploding_tardis and myself, but you can find it on her profile.

_     “Ugh.. I’m so sorry sir. The register isn’t working right now.” Azra picked up a table and carried everything behind the counter as Leah checked someone out. “But everything’s fine when you have a human calculator.” Azra could hear the smile in Leah’s voice. “Az?”  _

_     Azrael chuckled as she set everything on the back counter, mindlessly restocking a few things. “A Tuesday special with a side of extra fries. 5.35 and 1.18. Carry the one, $6.53.” Azra gave a smile before heading to the back, she could still see the front since there was a part of the wall cut out that looking into the kitchen.  _

_     “Angel, you are a lifesaver.”  _

_    “Don’t thank me yet. Shift ain’t over. And It’s easy math. You just have to put your mind to it.” Azra joked to Leah who still stood next the the register. Her eyes lifted to see the Impala that still sat in the parking lot.  _

_     Leah glanced over her shoulder. “You waitin’ on someone? Or does that car just bother you? ‘Cause you’ve been eyeing it all morning.” Leah set a hand on her hip as Azra dried off her hands and went back out front. “Also, if you haven’t noticed I can’t do it like you can. You’re much smarter than I am.”  _

_     “It’s nothing. Just… My dad use to have a car like that. Tare up the country on some big family road trip, basically waist the summer away.” Azra smiled to herself.  _

_     “Oh…” Leah trailed off, not knowing how carry on this conversation.  _

_     The place was mostly empty aside from a few booths that had two people in them. “Smarts from my uncle, ass from my father.” Both girls laughed silently. But Azra could feel the eyes that watched her, and she hoped that the people who owned that old Impala weren’t who she knew it was.  _

 

Azrael took in a deep breath. 

    “And deaths?” She lifted her head up in the small building. It was an abandoned church. The sun came through what felt like stained glass. She let a hand linger on the window. It warmed her face. The cloth was tied around her eyes like normal. 

    “Like you had predicted.” Slade's voice came from the back. She pictured him standing with his hands in his pockets. Castiel’s shirt was tucked in, she had the sleeves rolled up. There must have been a few cracks in the glass since fresh air managed to make it’s way to her. The shirt being so white that the black tattooed wings on Azrael’s back showed through. Her hair being in a messy almost pinned back styled ponytail. Slade watched this stunning woman as she almost seemed like she was looking out the window. Her hands clasped behind her back. He had too much respect for her to see her in this beauty in a sexual way. The two ends of the cloth just below the back of the collar of her shirt. She was almost seeming like a judge for eternity. Justice and juror. Now a days she kept her light hair shorter, it hardly reached the middle of her shoulder blades. The ends brushed the back of her neck in the fashion that it was held back. 

 

It was a few more moments, before they were no longer alone. 

    “Billy.” Azra called out without turning around. “You’re a little late. But it seems you have company.” 

    “I apologize Death.” 

    “Wait… this is what you meant about Death?” A familiar voice spoke. She silently prayed that it wasn’t real. 

    “I thought we went over this Billy. Don’t call me that. I am not that senseless bastard.” Slowly she started turning. The warmth of the sun’s rays left her face. “Hello Winchester’s, little cousin.” Several of the top buttons happened to be open. 

    “Whoa.” Came from Dean. Soon followed by a smacking sound. It didn’t take a genius to know that Alyssa had smacked Dean upside the head. This was when they all mentally questioned the cloth like blindfold around her eyes. 

    “Settle there Dean. You’re old enough to be my father.” Azrael speaks as she walks down the few steps. When she was level with everyone she patted Dean on the shoulder as she passed him. 

    “What? No.” Dean tried to recover. 

    “I am being serious, Winchester.” Azra turned her head back toward them. “My parents had me young.” She smiled to herself, knowing that wasn’t a lie. The smile grew as she hid it from the others in the room as she imagined an 18-year-old Dean finding out he was going to become a father. It faltered when she remembered he had no clue of exactly who she was. 

    “Anyways…” Alyssa mutters, clearing her threat as she looks over at Azra. She didn't even make a comment about what had been just said to Dean. “Please don't call me ‘little cousin’, I know I'm kinda small.. and short, but you don't have to point it out.”

    Azra laughed, since Alyssa had taken that the complete opposite way. “I meant that since I am older. But yes I do believe I may be taller than you.” Once again her smile faltered. She was supposed to be 19. But she had two other ages that were far greater than how old she would have been if she never died. Her hand grazed over the sides of the pews until her fingers wrapped around her staff. 

    “What’s up with the blindfold?” Dean had dropped his voice. 

    “A, I am a celestial being. I can hear you. B, I am blind, not deaf. Being such, I can hear much better than any of us would like.” She felt the shock fill the air. “Yes. I was blind when I died. Death gave me back my sight, and he took it away in the end.” Azra filled them in as she walked past them again, almost seeming to be looking for something. “The cloth is just to protect my eyes.” 

    “Why does she sound so much like Cas all of the sudden?” Again there was a grunt as Alyssa smacked Dean. 

    “Dean, you don't go around saying things like that! She's blind, and you say such a thing like that!” Alyssa snaps, crossing her arms. “You're testing my patience with your bad manners, you do not want to see me angry. I  _ am _ the Queen of Hell for a reason.”

    “That you are Al, that you are.” Azra spoke up. “But let the man wonder.”  _ His mind sees his daughter, but the wall does not let him make the connection. So let him wonder, since he cannot ask about anything else.  _ “A little curiosity never truly hurts anyone.” 

 

She looked down at where she knew they must be standing. Billy had since gone about her job. Slade stayed off to the side. He would be there for as long as Azrael needed him. But several questions had been answered, finding the woman who they thought to be dead, was the new Death. 

 

Of course, a little curiosity hadn’t hurt. So they just let Dean wonder. 

 


	35. A Drink or Two

Azrael picked up her drink and took a good swig out of it. Alyssa sat next to her with a few bottles and have had some of what Azrael was drinking. But the angel of death only went for the hard stuff. She had much more alcohol than Alyssa, but only her cousin was feeling maybe a little tipsy. They had talked about quite a bit, only Azra was sure Al wouldn’t remember much of it. 

    “Whoa.” Sam breathed at the number of empty bottles that sat in front of Azrael. 

    “Calm down. I’m fine.” Azra felt the texture of the empty glass bottle in front of her. “I can’t get drunk, and trust me, I’ve tried plenty of times.”   

    “Drunk? None of us are drunk,” Alyssa says with a giggle, she got rather drunk with only around 5 bottles.

    “Sure Al.” Azra sighed. For once she didn’t have the cloth around her eyes. It was around her neck, almost looking like a small scarf. Sam was shocked to see the color. Az could hear him suck in a breath. “What?” 

    “N-nothing… just. The color of your eyes.” 

    “Oh, yeah. Same color they were when I died.” That was mostly true. “I can’t even imagine what’s going through Cas’s mind now that I lost my sight again.” 

    “You two must be close.” 

    “Yeah.” Azra listened to Sam pulling out the chair next to her, and seating himself. 

    There was a hiccup from next to them. “They're as close as glue. Cas is always-”

     “Ok… ok. I think he gets it.” Azra carefully swatted Alyssa on the arm, almost in a patting fashion. Sam raised his eyebrow at Alyssa, encouraging her to go on. Which she happily did. 

    “He's always talking about how much he misses her, and sometimes what he's thinking about doing to get advice-” 

     “I hate you both.” Azra grumbled. She smacks Sam this time. “Thanks a lot uncle Sammy.” And just as she realized her mistake, the air in the room became stale. “Shit.” She risked herself. “Sorry it just slipped out.”  Azrael was pleading with any higher power that her cousin would but in with a different subject. For once it went through. 

    “Where's Dean? It's funny to drink with him, he's better company that you guys; drinking.” Alyssa giggles again, taking another drink of her beer.

    “We really need to cut you off.” Az reached out, completely missing where Alyssa held the bottle. She relaxed a little when the person next to her didn't seem as tense. Then the chair next to her scuffed the floor. Azra sucked in her breath. 

    “Yeah we should.” And he must have taken the bottle from Alyssa. But he still sound slightly upset.

    “Hey, give me that back! I'm doing no harm!” Alyssa whines, trying to grab the bottle back from Sam.

     Azrael burst out laughing at the hopping sounds that came from next to her. Al must have been jumping to get the bottle back from the much taller Sam. “Good try.” But her smile disappeared at the fact she was missing out on this. 

    “Sam, come on! It's not my fault that I'm shorter! Give it back!” Alyssa whined once again, jumping in attempt to get the bottle back. 

     “You don't need anymore.” Sam spoke. Azra sighed and smiled softly to herself. At lead Sam had forgotten for the time being about her slip up. 

    “He’s right Al.” Azra turned in her chair looking in the direction all the noise was coming from. 

    “Az.. Come on, I rather drink here than with Crowley around… Just give me the flipping bottle,” she says, trying to jump higher this time to get the bottle once again.

    “What about drinking? Whoa…” Dean must have noticed all the bottles in front of Azrael. “Son of a bitch. Are they both-” 

    “We Are right here.” Azra muttered. “And no, the only drunk one is Alyssa. Once again. I’ve tried, it always fails.” 

    “Come on Dean, we can always drink!” Alyssa says with another giggle, smiling before she hiccups. “I'm not drunk… I'm not Az… I swear.” Al hiccups once again.

    “My ass.” Azrael mutters. 

    “Just trying to get her to calm down.” Sam speaks, still holding the bottle up high. Azra was turned around looking in Dean’s direction, how she wished she could see him again. 

    “Okay.” Dean mumbled. 

    “Sam..” Alyssa once again whined, leaning into Sam slightly in attempt to try to reach up at the bottle again. “Just let me finish it, it'll do no harm.”

    “God your liver must hate you.” Dean speaks. 

    “Well no doubt mine does. I'm starting to think this runs in the family.” Azra said. 

    “How the hell-” 

    “Again, I can't get drunk. After how many damn times I've tried. Side effect of being Death.” 

    “Son of a bitch.” Dean almost whispers. 

    “Just give me the drink, Sam! Az and I have problems so we might as well embrace it!” Alyssa whined finally, jumping up to snatch the beer again.

    “I mean, I don't think it matters if I do. But when  _ you  _ drink.” 

    “I'm the Queen of Hell! I can drink whenever I want!” Alyssa snaps, managing to finally grab the bottle from Sam from a graceful jump. She held it victoriously, taking a drink.

     “Nice to meet you. And I’m Death, your point please?” Azra chuckled jokingly. 

    Alyssa let out a soft laughter, taking another drink of her beer. “Death should've made his own line of inspirational greeting cards, they would've been great,” she muttered, jokingly.  

     Azra knew it was a joke, but at the mention of her old boss she became tense. Her smile faded, and her laughing stopped. “Yeah, sure.” The wall had come up. But she made it look like she was just brushing it off. Just like her father. Azra stood and tried to push her chair in. She left it crooked. Azrael walked over toward Sam and took the bottle from his hand, taking a good swig of the drink. “I think I’ll go to my room now.” 

    “Azrael, don't go! The party's just starting! We can….” Alyssa cut herself off again, before looking back up at me. “Well… we can do stuff..”

    “Yeah, I guess we can.” Azrael looked over her shoulder off toward where the voices were coming from. She had a bittersweet smile curling the edges of her lips. “But I have work to do little cousin.” She let out a breath. “It does not stop just because I would like it to. I learned that the hard way.” With that Azrael didn’t stay a second longer. She disappeared off to lord knows where. 

 

    “She's always working. Just like everyone else does around me.” Alyssa says with a sigh.

    “Remind you of anyone?” Sam’s voice was quiet. 

    “Sam. Shut up.” Dean rasped. 


	36. Little 'En

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost hate to say this/ I am happy to say  
> there are ONE or TWO chapters left! But don't worry there are still two more books! This was supposed to be a trilogy but I decided to take what was supposed to be the last part of this and make it it's own book. Yay. I will have a small preview for the next book in the last chapter!

The days passed by and Azrael didn’t see Cas at all. There was a growing problem with Amara, the darkness. Turns out she was Azra’s great aunt. Next thing she knew she was messing around with that old bible of hers. She didn’t know what was going on, just that she needed to be where her father and uncle were. So, the area shifted, and she was with them. 

 

The first thing Azrael knew was that she heard Cas’s voice, but she couldn’t feel him. It was Lucifer, he had to have been possessing Castiel. Her heart broke at the thought. 

   “Let him go Luci.” Azra spoke. “Let them all go.” Lucifer stopped, she knew he was looking at her. 

    “Little ‘En…” He spoke. 

    “No matter what you are still my uncle. I still feel responsible for whatever you do. So stop it. Please.” Azra knew that Lucifer had stepped toward her. His footsteps had come closer, and it didn’t sound like the way Cas would walk. That’s what she hated. He had the horn in one hand, while the other rested on her shoulder. She only looked where she assumed he was, and mostly she was correct. He tenderly lowered the cloth from her eyes so it lay around her neck. The bright blue of Azrael’s eyes almost caused him to hesitate in his actions. 

 

    But the glass shattering caused Lucifer to turn away. 

    “Uncle Luci.” She called, he stepped away, and there was another set of footsteps as she could feel the power entering the room. 

    “Well nephew. You seemed to have changed.” Azra knew that voice. It was the one from before she woke up in the field. It caused a shutter to roll up her spine. 

 

There was some kind of fight almost. Azra could feel the power and the kick that it caused. She still stood even through the force it caused. She was almost confused on what was going on until she heard the darkness speaking to Lucifer. 

    “Cas!” Dean spoke. The Darkness let the brother’s free. 

    “Uncle Luci.” Azra whispered. Even though she could see nothing through her bright blue eyes, she knew Amara’s gaze shifted to her. All the sudden there was a pain that ripped through her head. Her eyes burned. Azrael couldn’t feel her uncle, or great aunt in the same area anymore. There were almost no sounds, and she was going in circles. Her head was pounding and there was no sound to guide her. It was like her mental map of the room just vanished. Azra had no clue where anyone was at, if there was anyone left. She was turning in confusing circles. Az was trembling, her hands out in front of her trying to find something.  _ Anything _ . Her breathing picked up as her eyes stayed tightly shut. Out of all the moments she had cried out to Castiel, this was one of the worst. He was not there to guide her, or say random things so that she knew where things were. Or even giving her a mental map. A few times she had held onto him to see what he saw. But Castiel was not there, her uncle had him, and she never felt more alone since Death was killed. Another wave of pain ripped through her. Azra hit her knees, all but crying out in pain. 

    “Hey.. Hey!” His voice echoed around her. Azra’s head felt light as she fell into the arms of someone. “Eden… Eden c’mon. Calm down it’s okay..” She did exactly that. “It’s okay..” 

 

Then it all shifted once more. 

 

Azrael’s back rested against what felt like the cushion of a booth. The smell of alcohol filled the area. She was still in pain, until a hand settled on her back. 

    “It’s alright. You’re safe now.” 

    “Grandfather,” Azra breathed. Slowly she sat up and blinked at the sight in front of her. 


	37. Faithfull Strangers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and gentlemen.... One more chapter left!

Azrael blinked. The form that was in front of her once again was blurred, but her sight was much better. Amara had helped heal her eyes. Her grandfather kept her safe in his safe room in Heaven. It was the first time she had ever been there. Azrael was never one to come upstairs to visit. She didn’t feel as if it was her place. She missed out on most of the action that took place on Earth. All because Chuck wanted her to stay up in the attic. She was starting to become restless. Finally she made it clear that she would wait no longer.

 

When she appeared in the bunker, Chuck was seated with Sam, Alyssa, Dean next to him. Azra could feel that he was weak. She blinked, spotting the one figure that stood close behind them. Her eyes became wide.

    “Cas,” She breathed. Castiel hesitantly walked over to her.

    “You… you can see me?” His eyes jumped back and forth between her.

    Azra nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! Yeah.” The smile that lit up her face, it reached her eyes too. Cas waisted no second before connecting his lips to hers. He couldn’t begin to show how happy he was. Azrael giggled into the kiss. It had been awkward when Lucifer was possessing him. Her uncle possessing her boyfriend. Well, maybe he was a little more.

    “Hey! Settle it down over there.” Dean grumbled.

    “My eyes are burning!” Alyssa quickly covers her eyes with her arms, a smile on her lips when she said it.

    Both Cas and Azra laugh, their foreheads pressed together. “C’mon, let them be.” Sam joined along in the laughter. Azrael watched as Dean smacked his little brother’s arm.

    “Good to have you here, Azrael.” Chuck spoke calmly. Castiel stepped back.

    “Good to finally be back on Earth, Grandfather.” They shared small smiles.

    Alyssa cleared her throat uncomfortably, leaning against the wall by Dean. “Well..”

    “So a hear there is a plan.. Anyone want to catch me up to speed?”

Sam gave a nod as she went over and sat down. There, she was told of what was being planned about Amara.

…

 

They all sat at the tables in the library. Almost celebrating in a way. No one had a clue on how this plan would go down. If they would lose anyone. For all they knew, someone might be gone by tomorrow.

    “Ed-” Cas caught himself. “Azrael, why don’t you sing something?” The edges of his lips curled.

    “No, it’s been a while.”

    “I always enjoyed hearing it when you were in the choir.” Chuck added.

    “I seriously have nothing to sing.”

    “What about Faithfull Strangers?” Chuck encouraged. Azra looked at the ground for a second, trying to figure out whether he knew about her own plan or not. But to advert her suspicion and get to a different topic, she obliged.

  


    Azrael tapped her hand on her thigh to set a beat, and some type of sound other than her voice. “So gather all ye faithful,

All ye young and old

Gather round for a story

One as I have foretold

 

Gather round ye faithful strangers

Listen to what i’ve to say

A story retold of mine own

 

Gather round ye faithful strangers

For the story

Of my last goodbye

Gather round and listen good

While the tale spins a’bye

 

Oh so sorry fill the crow

The last to speak my words

But please tell my story

Let the people hear

My curse

 

So gather faithful strangers

Listen to the foretold

A story of a braver

And the bold

 

One that lasts

Through the tests of time

Oh yes this story

Is but mine

 

So gather ye faithful strangers

Listen and listen good

For my story is of told

The last goodbye

Oh strangers

Pass it on

Please continue my lullaby

 

So gather round

Ye faithfull

Strangers.”

 

Being in the church choir and in sunday school had payed off. Able had always loved to hear Eden sing. Her voice was just comforting.

 

It was late by now. And everyone headed off to get whatever sleep they could find. Not much of it was promised in anticipation of the next few days. But Azrael took a gentle hold of Alyssa’s arm.

    “Alyssa wait. There… there's something I’ve been wanting to show you.” The corner of Azra’s mouth curled up. She hid the sadness in that small smile. Time would pass quickly for where they were headed. By the time they finished it would be well into the morning.

    “What do you want to show me?” Alyssa asked curiously.

    “You’ll see.” Azra kept her hand around her cousin’s arms as they shifted. Suddenly the world around them was all grey. “Give it a second.” Azra spoke softly. Then a small path formed under their feet along with trees. Alyssa looked into Azrael’s deeper blue eyes. The world was still blurry, but she had her sight back.

    

    The gravel crunched slightly. “Ede… Azrael!” A true smile formed over the girl’s lips as she turned to a woman who looked almost exactly like her. Azrael let her hand slip from Alyssa’s arm.

     “Mom,” She called before the woman clung onto her.

    “Oh! This must be Alyssa here too.” Mariel took a small step back from her daughter. She smiled brightly at her niece. She kept both her hands on her daughter's shoulders.

    “Um… I'm sorry, but you are?” Alyssa asked confused, staying where they had just arrived in a sort of trance.

    The woman laughed. The corners of her eyes crinkled. Her blue eyes had a sparkle to them. The sun shone off of her dirty blonde hair. “I’m Malia.” Alyssa knew the name, it was from somewhere, she just couldn’t figure out where. “Or some call me Mariel..” She turned back to Azrael. “And what about your father?”

    “He’s doing fine mother. Has been for a while now. Alive, and just as stubborn as usual.” Azra’s smile was the truest and best Alyssa had ever seen come from her mother. But she had smiled like that toward someone else once too. She just couldn’t remember. Her mind was all jumbled. “But.. is uncle Andre around?”

    “Is uncle Andre around?” A laugh came from a little further down the path. It was a rumbling warm sound, and one Alyssa hadn’t heard since she was younger. “Now why would you even question that?”

 

This man was huge. He had large shoulders. His hair was a light gray, and his silver eyes lit up in a way that made Alyssa feel safe.

    Azrael turned back to her cousin. “Al..”

    “Oh shut up Andrealphus.” Mariel spoke.

    “Haven’t had my fun yet little sister.” His grey eyes looked over Alyssa and his smile dropped. “Al.” He breathed. He walked right up to her, and wrapped his arms around her. “You’ve grown up baby girl.” Andrealphus kissed the top of his daughter’s head.

    “Yeah… you could say I grew up. That would be the nicest way to say things,” Alyssa said, frozen there in the spot just at the sight of her father.

    Azrael and Malia watched the father-daughter reunion. It made them both smile. But too soon Azra turned to her mother. “I don’t want to rush her. But I need to be getting back now. Give this too her, when she’s ready to leave.” Azrael let the wooden coin slip into her mother’s palm.

    “Be safe, my little girl.” Azra leaned into her mother’s touch. Her hand on her cheek.

    “I will mom.” Azrael had never wanted to swallow her tongue more. “I’ll see you soon.”

    

The last thing Azra saw of that place was her mother’s warm smile. Now, it was back to the present.


	38. Hell

Azrael looked around the new building they were all in. She took a breath, knowing Alyssa was better off catching up with her father than being down here. There was a part that she just didn’t need to be present to witness. Azra sighed, before getting a few things ready. She opened a window.

 

    “Eden?” Cas called out from the top of the stairs of the old building. She gave a smile without looking at him. She’d be damned for this. But her life was already hell. How much worse could the afterlife ever be?

    “Yeah, I’m here Cas.” Her smile held back all the pain she felt in that moment.

    “Hey.” Castiel spoke quietly. He curled a finger underneath Azrael’s chin and lifted it so their noses touched. Azra felt her heart brake at this small, blissful action. “What’s wrong?” He questioned. His eyes searched her’s for just the slightest bit of any kind of distress. Castiel didn’t find any, since it was all buried deep down.

    “Nothing,” Azra breathed before leaning in. Her fingers tangled with his tie. She broke the kiss long enough to slip it off of him so it kept the knot. Castiel smiled into the next kiss as she placed and tightened it around his wrists. He thought nothing of her slight pushes off to a spot next to the dull windows. Azrael’s fingers twisted the tie, keeping Cas’s wrists together. There was a small giggle from her as she set her head down on his shoulder. Then she did the most painful thing of the moment. Azra pulled away.

 

Her lips still formed a smile. One that said everything was going to be alright. While Castiel grinned like an idiot. She backed away, creating quite a distance between them. Then the smile was gone. Azrael’s eyes flickered before the flames reached up around Castiel.

    “Eden… Eden?” Cas frantically looked around himself. He was surrounded by holy fire. His wrists were tied together and his mind was racing. Exactly how Azrael figured would happen. “What are you doing?” He looked up at her. Desperation flooded his eyes. He also longed that what he knew she was doing, wasn’t true.

    “I’m tired Cas. I have been for a long time. “Of… everything. My job, this hellish life… I’m. I’m just tired.” She whispered. Her lip quivered in the slightest. But she wasn’t about to show how terrified she was. “Remember Proverbs 24:16.” She did everything in her power to keep her voice level. “I love you Cas.” With that she tore herself away. She left him there in that ring of fire, and shut the door behind her after going down the stairs.

 

Azrael took in a deep breath. Her hands still pressed against the door to the stairs.

    “Azrael?” The voice sent a shiver through her. Azra kept her eyes shut for a few seconds.

    “Hey Dean.” She opened them with a smile.

    “Have you seen Cas?”

    “Nope. I was just heading out.”

    “Didn’t you just get here?” Azra moved away from the door and Dean followed her.

    “Yeah, I… I just need a little fresh air, that's all.”  

    “It does seem a little stuffy in here.” Dean commented.

    Azra was happy in this moment that she had her back turned to her father. Thankful that he couldn’t see the tears in her eyes. “It does. Hey Dean?” She turned just slightly.

    “Yeah?”

    “Do me a favor and look at Genesis 1:26 for me?”

    “You know I don’t read that stuff.”

    “Yeah.. yeah.” She discreetly wiped her cheek. “Just.. look it up for me, okay?”

    “Alright…”

    “I think I’ll go take that walk now.” Azra smiled and cleared her eyes before she walked into the main room. Most eyes shifted to her. She had gotten rid of any evidence that had pointed to her sadness. “Anybody got a pen and paper?”  

 

What she had asked for was given to her. She scribbled down something on the tiny sheet.

_Proverbs 13:10_

With a smile she handed it to Sam. She patted him on the back.

    “Today is as good as any for a walk.” She gave her grandfather a smile, along with a nod to Crowley.  

 

With that she walked out of the place. She made sure to put quite a bit of distance between those who she loved, and the person she needed to talk to.

 

__

Sam walked over to find his brother near the staircase.

    “Hey, you think Azrael is acting weird?” Dean asked.

    “She handed me a paper with a bible verse on it. I think something is up, yeah.”

    “She asked me to look up a verse once we got back.” Both their brows furrowed, until they heard the noise upstairs.

    “Sam! Dean!” Cas yelled. The brothers rushed up the steps to find Cas in the ring of fire. He was struggling to get his wrists untied. But he at least got out of them by the time Sam and Dean got over to him. “Where is Azrael?” He demanded.

    “She just went out for a walk. Why? Did she do this to you?”

    “Yes. but not it a bad way.. Well it is bad.. Just get me out of here!” The brothers worked on putting out the fire. It was out when Dean paused. His eyes went wide and his hands started to tremble.

    “What the hell is she doing?” He asked quickly.

    “Dean what is it?”

    “I think I know but for once I would like to be wrong.” Cas spoke.

    “Damn it!” He shouted. Sam seemed to put it together too. “Son of a bitch, Eden!”

    Cas froze. “She took out the wall.” He whispered. The brothers rushed to the stairs while Cas stayed in his spot. If Azrael destroyed the wall she set in the Winchester’s minds, that meant what she was doing was beyond stupid.

__

 

Azra was thrown into the dirt again. Everything within her was aching at this point as she looked back up at Amara. Her arms trembled as she tried to lift herself.

    “I hate to do this, since you were always one of my favorites.. Mariel.” Her eyes looked over Azra, and she soon backed off.

    “Eden!” Castiel yelled. He appeared next to her. Cas helped Az up.

    “Cas.” She spoke. Blood trailed down from her lip. “Cas..”

    “Eden… don’t talk.” He held her against him.

    “No.. no.” She pushed back. “I have to do this Cas.” She looked deep into his eyes. His entire form and everything around them became clear, as it once had been a long time ago. “I have to finish this.” Her sight was fully restored while he set a hand on her cheek. It was so her head was held up straight. Held high. There was some green forming over the silver.

    “She can… probably will kill you Eden.” Those blue eyes of his begged her to stop. To back down. Anything but resume the fight.

    “I know. That’s what you do for family.” She whispered. The blue that had once been in her eyes was hardly in existence as they were that same old green. Almost matching the shade of her father’s. She leaned in and kissed him. Azra pushed his hands off of her, holding them as she pulled back. “ Let me go, Cas.” She set a hand on his cheek. She wrapped her hands around him. “ _We gotta hold on to what we’ve got_ .” She hummed, “ _It doesn’t matter if we make it or not_.” She now pulls back. Azrael says with a smile, “I’m tired Cas. And I love you. But let me go.” She dropped his hands with this, and stepped back. “Livin’ on a prayer, Cas.” Her wings spread out behind her. Over Cas’s shoulder she could see two running figures. One was her father. The world blurred a little, but she forced down the tears. “I love you.”

 

With that her great wings pushed her up into the air, to the clouds. Exactly where Amara was waiting for her.

    “Stupid move.” Amara told. The clouds beneath them seemed to act as a platform.

    “Well that’s what happens when you try and protect family.” Azra snarled before she was thrown back.

    “I don’t get that. Because all they ever do is stab you in the back.”

    “It’s not perfect.” Azra shakily lifted herself back up. “Because it’s family. You’re supposed to fight with them. Hell I’ve been lying to my father’s face for so long. But you know what? He’s down there right now… wanting me _not_ to do exactly what is happening now. You wanna know why?” Amara threw Azra again. “Because I’m one of the last few people of his family. And you love each other no matter how mad you are. It doesn’t make any difference.” And again. “Because family don’t end in blood. And being blood means you're stuck with each other anyway.”  And again. Azra wheezed as Amara lifted her. “I’m not Mariel. I’m her daughter. I am Eden, and Azrael.”

 

With that Azrael’s blade slid into her grip. This was something it had been waiting patiently for. Then it almost dug into Amara’s stomach. Her eyes went wide.

    “You.. you..” She stuttered out of shock. “You aren’t going to live through this.”

    “I figured.” Amara’s hands still gripped Azrael’s throat. “But at… least… their.. Safe.” Her left wing had been beaten badly. Then the angel of death’s blade, was forced into it’s own master. Azra gasped while Amara’s hold on her slipped. They both fell.

 

Azrael tried to keep them both up. But only her right wing was flapping. The left pathetically twitched. Azra held tightly to Amara so she wouldn’t fall. But her great aunt looked up, almost confused and horrified at what this girl was doing. Showing mercy after attempting to kill her. A choking sound came from Azrael’s throat. Her right wing stopped moving as she went limp.

    “Eden? Eden!”

And they both plummeted. Amara used her own powers in time to help herself. But the moment Azrael hit the ground, a large could burst through the area.

    “Eden! _Eden!_ ” It was Dean, screaming for the girl. He continued his calls even as he coughed. Amara hid herself.

 

The dust soon settled. And Dean saw her.

    “Dean!” Sam called after his brother. But the eldest Winchester was already at his daughter’s side. He sank to his knees. Angrily he took the blade from her stomach, and tossed it as far as he was able to manage in his state. Directly after he looked back to his motionless daughter.

    “Acer? Acer..” He brushed some of her blonde hair from her face. “C’mon Ede.. Eden..” Her wings were spread out on either side. “Eden..” Gingerly, Dean pulled his daughter into his arms.

Rowena helped Chuck as they stopped next to Sam. Slowly Chuck slid from the witch’s grip. He stumbled up to his granddaughter. His knees buckled.  Dean almost looked at him angrily through the tears that rolled down his face. But Chuck extended his hand, smoothing it over Azra’s left wing. There was a small glow, before the wing was fixed. It still seemed a little battle torn, but it was better than it had been in centuries.

 

Dean held her closer in that moment. Her wings slowly turning to ash. It floated down like fresh snow, only it was dark.

    “Why?” The silent words hardly left his lips. He shook his head as the tears dripped off his chin. “I’m here… I’m here. Alright baby girl? I’m here and I’ve got you.” Chuck seemed to be holding back as he watched this. He wished he could have had a final moment with a few of his own children. “I’m here.” His voice broke. Dean’s shoulders trembled with the sobs he held back. He held them back for Eden.

    “Dean..” Chuck whispered. His eyes shined with so many different emotions. Slowly he set as hand on Azrael… Eden’s shoulder. Just as slowly, her body started to fade. And Dean hung his head.

…

 

Dean wasn’t taking any of it very well. He hardly kept it together when they got back to the bunker. They were all a mess in some shape or form. Sam took the old bible from her room. He flipped to the section that Eden had given him, before the one she had told Dean. There had been two letters for them. With a sigh, Cas sat down with the book in his hands.

_“Remember Proverbs 24:16.”_

With all the strength he had left, he turned to those pages. A folded paper fluttered onto the table. He held it in his hands as the highlighted area caught Cas’s eyes.

 

_For a righteous man may fall seven times_

_And rise again..._

 

Slowly he unfolded the paper. He took in a deep breath, and started reading.

 

_First off, Castiel. This is no one's fault. No one but my own._

_Secondly, please tell Alyssa to look up 2nd Corinthians 4:9, thanks._

 

_It was bound to happen, you need to know that. I mean, my own father killed Death. That meant just about anything could have happened. And again, it’s part of life. I don’t think I could have stood around to watch my father and uncle die. I’ve already lost so much. I couldn’t stand to lose anything more. I was just tired of that entire cycle._

_It drove me crazy. When you put me into that coma when I was stuck having all those visions.. I saw your death._

 

_It was much more than a vision because I was living it. And damn it Cas I couldn’t. I just couldn’t go through it anymore. Next thing I knew, it was the future playing out in front of me. Of my death instead of yours._

 

_Now before you start cursing my name or anything. Stop and think. You’ve gone how many centuries without me? You were born an angel. I was born a human and forced into a life that wasn’t even my own. I had Death breathing over my shoulder at every step. You were.. you are home to me. The best one I’ve known. Without you at all I probably would have found my own weakness a long time ago. Without you I would have never met my father. You without me? Not much of a change because I know you can continue without me. Because I wasn’t that much, I couldn’t have been. I know you can move on. Besides, my dad needs you. This world is better off without either deaths. I can only imagine Slade taking over, so the reapers are in good hands._

 

_If you find it hard, your heart can always beat again. Just close your eyes. I’ll always be there. You will do this much better than I would have. And after some time Alyssa will take you with her to visit me. But not too quickly after._

_Cas, I’m with my mom now. With everyone. Someday Dad and Sammy will join me. Hell, out of what either of us know, this might not be goodbye._

_But Cas, no matter how you feel you can heal from it. Do_ **_not_ ** _bring me back… I’m dead and I need to stay that way. I’m home Cas. And I have peace no matter where the hell I am. All those things I’ve done over the years. Damn it I’m suppose to be 19, I’m 1326, and my body is 26. I’ve been released from it all. My job is done, C._

_So please, know I am at peace._

 

Cas was reminded in that moment how much hell she had faced in either life.

 

 _P.S. I will always love you, and do me a favor. When the time comes, remember_ us _.. The way we use to be. Because I sure as hell do, and it’s beautiful._

 

He smiled through his forming tears.

 

_P.S.S. Before you say ‘If only we were us’, just know_

_We_ **_Are_ ** _us, Cas. We have been for a long time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This concludes the third book! 
> 
> Yes I know you probably hate me right now. Be quite and read the preview to the next book.. 
> 
> Remember Us, Preview:  
> There was once a time when Castiel and and Eden’s lives weren’t so complicated. Back when they never lied to each other like they had been. Where they were just… them. 
> 
> Castiel finally gets what Eden ment. “When the time comes, remember us.” 
> 
> It might be a bit before I start posting Remember Us. This will be almost similar to Malia's story (aka When We Were Us) where it shows background and how certain things may have gotten to where they are now in the current stories. It might even give you some important information.. *Cough* *cough*  
> Anyway, thank you all for sticking with this series so far! I hope I haven't scared any of you off from finishing this long journey we have started.. Until the next book!


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